The New New Romantics?

I recently started rewatching the terrific BBC show "Ashes to Ashes". The show is set in 1981, and the soundtrack is as much a star as any of the superb actors. It's full of the hit British music of the time... punk, new wave, two-tone ska, and lots of synth-pop. The music and looks of the so-called New Romanticism period are on full display, a period when British youth culture rebelled against punk by turning back to David Bowie-inspired androgyny and very artistic electronic music that broke wide across the Atlantic when MTV launched. The early MTV had very few videos to play, and most of them were British artists. So as MTV gained national acceptance on cable systems from coast to coast, more Americans were exposed to Duran Duran, The Human League, Spandau Ballet, and so on. A "Second British Invasion" resulted, and the era I have referred to here as the "sweet spot" began: the period from 1982-85 when pop music was truly mass appeal for the last time.

After watching an episode the other night, I immediately felt like I should put on "Trying to Be Cool" from Phoenix's latest album, "Bankrupt!" The song sounds like it would fit in nicely in 1981 England; in fact, most of the album does. On the road to Syracuse the next day, I was listening to Radio 104.5 in Philly and The Fuzz, Scranton's Alternative station. Most of the currents seemed to fit the same template... a lot of retro synth-pop evoking the 1980s and 1990s, but mostly the 80s.

I have often claimed that pop culture (especially music) seems to recycle itself every 20 years. So when the 2010s arrived, some people in my age group cringed at the mass rehashing of the 90s that was taking place because it reminded them that they were getting old. I enjoyed it, and I was looking forward to not only the offerings of Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, and Alice in Chains that would have added retro-grunge cache, but also to hear new bands go to the grunge template and see what they could come up with. Although the Seattle mainstays have done well with their newer stuff (and who didn't love to see the members of Soundgarden riding around on Segways in their video for "Crooked Steps"?) at some point it was determined in the world of indie and alternative rock that the clock should not be turned back to 1992, but to 1982.

As with any trend in music, there are some very disposable acts (Capital Cities, anyone?) A lot of these songs are crossing over to Pop radio, where they just become another "dance song" to play in between Justin Bieber and One Direction. When a song comes along that I like, and then it crosses over, or worse I hear it and KNOW it's going to cross over, I don't want to like it because in my mind I can already hear it being played between Beebs and 1D. That's how I feel about "Sweater Weather" by The Neighbourhood (which is crossing over) and "My Number" by Foals (which no doubt will). But there's also Phoenix and Portugal The Man, and others who give this "New" New Romanticism some artistic merit.

Speaking of which, I've got a big problem with the fact that the Alternative format has become an incubator for future Pop hits. The Capital Cities song is a perfect example. That song was going to become a Pop hit, but rather than introducing it to a Pop audience, the song gets put on Alternative stations because the PDs know it will cater to the young/female part of their audience. This strategy works especially well if the same company owns an Alternative station and a Pop station. Play the song at Alternative until the song inevitably crosses over to Pop, then the young/female listeners will migrate over to the Pop station, and your company keeps the ratings.

THIS IS NOT WHAT THE ALTERNATIVE FORMAT IS FOR!!! "Alternative" is actually short for "Alternative Rock." Therefore, it's gotta be new rock, and if it's not something that fits within the parameters of rock, it's gotta be something new and different. "Alternative", by its very definition, means something you won't hear anything else, not something that you will inevitably hear EVERYWHERE. Another great example: Lorde. I know everyone's raving about her, and she is quite talented. "Royals" is a good song... but there is NOTHING "Rock" about it. Play her on a Pop station and let the buzz carry the song to being a major Pop hit, which it will be.

Another issue comes up when an artist known for being Alternative releases something that is completely Pop. The current example is Daft Punk. Known as an off-the-radar electronic act for over a decade, their latest single has Pop hit-maker Pharrell Williams on it, and sounds pretty conventional CHR. Naturally, this means that Alternative jumped all over it when it first came out. Here's my take: If you played "One More Time" back in the day, then you can give the song the occasional spin, but if your station didn't exist that long ago... let it go.

The major problem here is that most Pop stations no longer have a LIVE, local night guy anymore, and many don't do anything live on the weekends, so the old methods of introducing music to Pop station audiences are gone. No more "Pump It or Dump It," "Smash or Trash," or whatever you would call the "we play a new song, you tell us if you like it" approach, and Sunday-night new music shows are rare on Pop stations. So apparently the Alternative format has become the new "test market." And I find myself listening to WXPN more often... although as they continue to play the Daft Punk song and a couple of other current Top-40 hits, I wonder if the "Pop incubator" virus has spread even to them. If you're a Triple-A and want to play something off the new Daft Punk album, play other stuff! You can do that, it's what your format does!

Over the past few years, people have become concerned that every station seems to be playing the same songs, regardless of format. It's most upsetting when a format that has long prided itself on being, well, the "alternative" threatens to join the parade. This is not me getting old, it's the format needing a makeover. Perhaps this new trend toward "New New Romanticism" is it. Meanwhile, I'm going to see if Roxy Music goes well into Foals.

2013 Grammy Picks

If I kept up with this blog like I used to, I would have let you know that I picked the Ravens to win the Super Bowl (which I did), and I even predicted that there would be a power failure at the Superdome (okay, that one not so much). But I will give you my annual picks for the Grammys. Here’s how I do it: I not only pick who I think will win, but also who I think SHOULD win. Grammy doesn’t always stick to the script, and has left us scratching our heads on more than one occasion. For instance, I knew Justin Bieber wasn’t going to win Best New Artist a couple years ago, but who saw Esperanza Spalding coming? So here we go with my predictions for the major awards for 2013:

Best Alternative Album… Who Should Win: This year’s list of nominees is pretty weak. Björk? Tom Waits? My vote is for M83’s “Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming.” Quite simply, M83 (which is only one person, kinda like Dashboard Confessional back in the day) made some great music this year. I almost bought the album, but it was a double album and I was pinching pennies. So I go with M83.

Who Will Win: Not M83. I would almost expect Grammy to screw up royally and pick Tom Waits, but I think it will go to Fiona Apple. Critics love her, and by god, she deserves to win for continuing to put out good music 16 years after “Tidal.”

Best Rock Performance… Who Should Win: GREAT list of nominees this year, and therefore hard to pick. I said Grammy loves Mumford & Sons last year, but I was wrong. They’re nominated again this year, but so are The Black Keys, and I’ve gotta give The Black Keys the upper hand here.

Who Will Win: The Black Keys. PLEASE, do NOT give it to Springsteen just because he’s Springsteen.

Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance… Who Should Win: It’s hilarious looking at the nominees in this category. It’s like we never left the 1980s… Megadeth (again), Anthrax, Iron Maiden… Sorry boys, gotta chalk one up for the ladies this year. Halestorm should win.

Who Will Win: Certainly not Megadeth. They will drop to 0-for-11 all-time at the Grammys, and it’s kind of a cruel joke that they’ve become the Grammy equivalent of Susan Lucci. They could have just had 5 nominees for this category like every other category, but they actually expanded by one slot just so they could nominate (and deny) Megadeth again. Oh by the way, Halestorm will win.

Best Rock Song… Who Should Win: I LOVE Jack White’s “Freedom at 21”, but he’s up against “Lonely Boy,” so I have to give it to The Black Keys.

Who Will Win: Here’s where they give it to Springsteen just because. I would actually be okay with it because it’s a songwriter award.

Best Rock Album… Who Should Win: Hands down, “El Camino” by The Black Keys. Should win, will win.

Best Solo Pop Performance… Who Should Win: I’ve had my rant here in the past about nominating live versions of songs for Grammys. That’s nice that you think Adele should get another Grammy. She got 6 last year (and I picked all 5 of her major wins, by the way… didn’t get much else right last year, but that’s another story. BON IVER?) That’s enough. Kelly Clarkson should win for “Stronger.”

Who Will Win: Kelly Clarkson.

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance: Interesting that Florence and the Machine were nominated, thus confirming that they are NOT Alternative. (You hear that, Alternative radio?) That being said, a lot of good nominees for this song, but I think Fun. should win. “We Are Young” was a freakin’ anthem.

Who Will Win: Gotye. Not really sure why, just a really good hunch.

Best Pop Vocal Album… Who Should Win: Quite honestly, I think Fun. had a stronger album than Maroon 5, and I think the Grammy voters will recognize this. Should win, will win.

Best New Artist (a.k.a. "The Kiss of Death")... Who Should Win: Lots of interesting choices here. You have Frank Ocean, Fun., and Alabama Shakes, all in the same category. I would give the edge to Frank Ocean.

Who Will Win: Alabama Shakes. Not that I don’t think they’re deserving, but Grammy usually goes for the most interesting new contribution to music, rather than who made the biggest splash (as Ocean did). Alabama Shakes brought rock back to its roots in an impressive way, and they will be rewarded for doing so.

Song of the Year… Who Should Win: Again, “We Are Young” was a freakin’ anthem.

Who Will Win: Grammy gets it right this time. Fun.

Record of the Year… Who Should Win: This time, Fun. is up against Frank Ocean and The Black Keys, thus making it a harder call. I think The Black Keys should win.

Who Will Win: Ready for a shock? Taylor Swift. Why? I just get this feeling that the three I mentioned above will all cancel each other out in the voting, splitting the majority and leaving an opening for Taylor Swift to win with a plurality built on country/pop voters.

Album of the Year… Who Should Win: I think it’s cool that I own 3 of the 5 nominees. Of those 3, I think The Black Keys’ “El Camino” was the best. I think it should win.

Who Will Win: We’re due for Grammy to screw this one up. Jack White’s album was pretty good, but a little too rootsy in places for me… but that’s why he’ll win.

So there you have it… It’s a mixed bag this year. No one runaway winner like last year, and a crapshoot may be tougher to call, but I guess we’ll all find out tomorrow night.

Everybody's Not Impressed By a Good List

As I started to think back on 2012, I was immediately struck by how so many things disappointed us as the year went on. It wasn’t the greatest year ever; true, it wasn’t the worst either, but it seemed like a lot of things did not live up to the hype or our expectations. So it is with that in mind that I present to you the unofficial “THIS JUST IN” mascot for 2012…

 

This is McKayla Maroney. She’s not impressed. I’m sure you’re all quite familiar with the Internet meme that sprung up following the American gymnast’s disappointing silver-medal finish in her signature Olympic event. “Not impressed” could describe my reaction to a lot of things that happened in 2012.

Solutions to the impending “fiscal cliff”? Not impressed.
Hell, solutions to ANY of the problems that this country faces? Not impressed.
The NHL lockout? Not impressed in the least.
The performance of my favorite sports teams? FAR from impressed.

My ability to keep this blog updated? Not impressed at all… and on that note, I guess it’s become pretty obvious that this blog won’t be as regular an occurrence as it used to be. It’s not that I don’t have opinions that I wish to share, but the world of academia has taken up more and more of my time, and as much as I dislike the idea of anything limiting my desire to express my views, the job search process makes me hesitant to be controversial in a way that would jeopardize my chances of finding work after I finish my doctorate. But I do still want to give my review of the year that was, and in that spirit, here’s this year’s list…

Dumb PETA Protest of the Year: PETA ran an ad satirizing violence against women, inferring that men who choose a vegan lifestyle become sexual animals who can “bring it like a tantric porn star.” There is NOTHING funny about the idea of a woman getting sexually “wrecked” or “destroyed” (as the kids – unfortunately – like to say these days) by a man for any reason.

Zero Tolerance Strikes Again: 2 kids in New Jersey who have albinism got sunburned severely because zero-tolerance policies forbade them from bringing sunscreen to school… because the FDA regulates it as an over-the-counter drug. The silliness of incidents like this unfortunately got worse after the tragic school shooting in Newtown, CT. Now we have people looking a little too hard for “signs” of trouble, resulting in a New Jersey kid who nobody found to be a threat to anyone being sent to juvenile detention… because he drew a picture of a glove with flames coming out of it in school.

Dumb Lawsuit of the Year: A 45-year old New Jersey woman sued a 13-year old boy because she claimed that the boy threw a baseball at her face on purpose. He was helping his Little League teammate warm up in the bullpen, and he misfired on a return throw. She even said she was okay when he went to help… but then some ambulance chaser found her and she suddenly decided that this boy should (somehow) give her $500,000. Hm, perhaps when the judge throws this one out of court, he should mandate that the lawyer get drilled in the face as well.

Most Overplayed Song of 2012: Really? You have to ask? Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy… but I just used the setup for a million punchlines and even more cheesy YouTube videos. And based on past ridiculous behavior, I’m really surprised some Fox News anchor somewhere didn’t attack Carly Rae Jepsen for being “unladylike” for giving a guy her number and wanting him to call her, maybe. 

Record-Breaker for Quickest Song to Go From Hipster Favorite to Complete Sell-Out: Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” This song was generating raves from hipster communities from coast to coast in January, generating artistic online video versions. By April, it was being used in a promo for “Glee.” By June, most people wanted to kill themselves every time it came on the radio. A close second to “Call Me Maybe” for Most Overplayed Song, and very deserving of its own category. 

Most Overplayed Artist of 2012: STILL Rihanna. It doesn’t help when even Coldplay wants her voice on a song. Oh, and then she released YET ANOTHER ALBUM this year.

Who We Will Talk About in Music in 2013: Rihanna (obviously), Paramore, Mariah Carey (following previous singing competition judges J-Lo and X-tina with a comeback of her own), Lady Gaga, The Gaslight Anthem, more artists who (unfortunately) get their songs recognized for being in commercials instead of for being any good, and the continuing emergence of City & Colour and Tokyo Police Club in the US after much success in their native Canada.

Who Should Just Go Away in 2013: At the top of the list is rapper 2 Chainz… because nobody has done more to re-establish the genre of rap as a world of female exploitation than this guy. His “Birthday Song” (with fellow noted douchebag Kanye West) sent the use of “big booty ho” to levels not seen since the days of 2 Live Crew. His videos are throwbacks to the 1990s, and not in a good way. The fact that rap “authorities” like The Source considered him to be their “Man of the Year” should make hip-hop aficionados ashamed. So yeah, the sooner that fans of good music and respect for women band together to run 2 Chainz out of the music business, the better. Oh, and Nickelback needs to go away as well… and since she’s marrying into the band, take Avril Lavigne with you.

Predictions I Got Right: I was correct on Taylor Kitsch extending his box office bombing run to 3 movies in a row… “Battleship” joined “John Carter” as massive failures, and even though “Savages” made money in the end, they were hoping for a little better than $50 million out of a mid-summer release with Oliver Stone at the helm. Kitsch probably won’t get top billing again unless it’s as Tim Riggins in the rumored “Friday Night Lights” movie of the TV series based on the movie. The Black Keys and Green Day put out albums (the latter put out 3), but while “El Camino” has been largely viewed as a strong follow-up to the Grammy-winning “Brothers”, the “Uno! Dos! Tré!” trilogy has received mixed reviews. I also called 6 of the 8 NFL division winners and had a 7th (Denver) making the playoffs.

Predictions I Completely %#$&ed Up: I’m pretty happy that I was wrong in predicting that the losing side of the presidential election would go batshit crazy because they thought they had it in the bag. Aside from the right-wing talk radio machine comparing our president to Santa Claus for giving voters whatever they want (and Katrina Van den Heuvel, who saw the result as a mandate for President Obama to go as far Left as he wants), people were quick to accept the results and acknowledge that we need to work together to fix our problems… which makes our displeasure over the continuing dysfunction in Washington that much more resounding. I also learned a lesson about using the Week 1 results to make NFL predictions… I viewed the Jets’ season-opening thumping of Buffalo as the start of a playoff run. Instead, the Jets became the NFL’s most visible dumpster fire, made “butt-fumble” a thing, and brought a 6-10 season full-circle today by getting beaten badly… by Buffalo. I had Temple and SU both going 6-6; instead they went in opposite directions, Syracuse to 8-5 with another Pinstripe Bowl win, Temple to 4-8 (although they didn’t finish last in the Big East… a prediction I got right but everyone else got wrong).

Best New Album I Got This Year: Easy answer here. Metric’s “Synthetica” is a masterpiece. The songs are sonically amazing, Emily Haines’s voice is equal parts playful and cutting, and the album flows in such a manner that if you have any emotional issues to work out, you’ll have done so by the time you finish one full pass. The opening three-song suite of “Artifical Nocturne,” “Youth Without Youth,” and “Speed the Collapse” is a nonstop adrenaline rush. From there, “Synthetica” turns introspective, then bouncy, before bringing you in for a soft, Lou Reed-assisted landing.

And Finally: Although this blog doesn’t get updated quite so much anymore, it’s no indication of how things are going in my life. Despite how unimpressed the year's events left me, I’m quite happy with the way things are going, to be honest. I think 2013 will be a good year for myself, and I hope it’s a good year for all of us. Considering how rough December has been, we all could use a good 2013.

It May Get Worse, But You Can Make It Better

It is Election Eve, and I am exhausted from working constantly on my dissertation (hence, the lack of new entries... I've wanted to write, really wanted to write, but I've had no time or energy). But I know if I did not write this entry, the guilt would consume me. So bear in mind that I might ramble incoherently for stretches; blame the fatigue, but try and see the points I am about to make.

This is a plea for civility.

I've made these before, and considering the fact that few read this blog, I'm not surprised that they've gone unheeded, but I'm doing it again because I have to.

In the days leading up to the election, people on both sides of the political fence have been hurling bile and invective like it's their job (yes, for some, it actually is; for most, it is not). Billions of dollars have been wasted... not spent, WASTED... on vicious SuperPAC attack ads, all meant to convince a small percentage of undecideds in battleground states to vote for Obama or Romney. Meanwhile these undecideds probably stopped watching these ads weeks ago because they got fed up with seeing them all the time.

I have a policy for my News Feed on Facebook. It's my policy for myself, designed to keep my blood pressure tolerable and to screen out those whose messages aren't intended for me, and if they are, I'm not going to listen to them anyway. If Facebook friends plaster endless rhetorical hyperbole and other forms of political opinion overkill on my News Feed, I block them. It's not censorship. I'm the only one who (until now) knows that I'm doing it... but it's something I have to do, lest I respond in another way that threatens my friendship with this person, Facebook or otherwise. I don't want to see it, so I choose not to. That being said, today alone, I've blocked SEVERAL Facebook friends from my News Feed. To the point that it's become kinda spare. I'll check it once in a while and wonder why only five people have posted in the last hour... then I realize that the 10-15 others who would fill that space are all blocked.

Oh, and I also block people who post 10 e-cards/memes/silly pictures in a row and junk up my feed. But that's kind of irrelevant right now...

I'm rarely political with my Facebook posts. I'll comment on what others have to say because I do like a good back-and-forth discussion every so often, but when I decide to make my opinions heard (especially lately with no time or will to blog), I go on Twitter. That's my outlet for politics... and yes, it sometimes means I have to read the posts that I blocked from my Facebook feed, but I understand that I have set aside a time and place for these things.

My point... he says as he realizes he's starting to ramble (and piss off certain friends who may or may not be among those he's blocked)... is that this election, with all of its divisiveness and all of its urgency and all of its perceived importance to the nation and world and humanity... is a dead heat entering November 6th. We are 50-50 Nation once again... well, hopefully more like 47-47-6, because 5% for a third party would get them on the ballot next time around. Anyway, we've been told increasingly over these final days that this is the "most important election in our lifetime"... because apparently the "most important election in our lifetime" four years ago wasn't. I've referred to it as the "End of the World Election," because that's literally how people are treating it. Hyperpartisans on both sides telling us that if the other guy wins, we're doomed. As a nation, as a human race, we're doomed.

To make matters worse, these people, locked tightly in their own echo chambers where they only feel the need to repeat "news" items from those who are in ideological lockstep with them, are convinced that "their guy" has this wrapped up. Regardless of who "their guy" is. Right-wingers are convinced that Romney's got this election in the bag, based on the early voting patterns, and their prognosticators are projecting as much. Left-wingers are convinced that Obama's got this election in the bag, again based on the early voting patterns, and their prognosticators are also projecting as much. Some are going so far as to say that Romney or Obama will win the Electoral College by TRIPLE DIGITS. You know what this means? When the votes are counted and we know the final results 24-or-so hours from now... the side that had all these projections and patterns on their side and didn't win is going to be PISSED. They will immediately look for scapegoats, be it voter fraud, suppression or intimidation tactics, or the ever-popular variation on that immortal Jim Morrison line: "You're all a bunch of fucking idiots!" That's right, you who don't believe in what they believe are obviously as dumb as a box of hammers, and that the majority (or plurality, if the winning popular vote total is less than 50%) are nothing more than a bunch of "sheeple" who are too easily led by deceit and lies. So get set to wake up to that on Wednesday morning if your guy wins tomorrow.

But more seriously is the fact that there are going to be people who are seething with anger over their guy not winning... and if recent history is any indication, they will channel this rage in ways that will exacerbate the dysfunctionality of American government. The idea that the opposition party president is a figure to be despised really took root in the last 30 years, and has become particularly bad since the disputed election of 2000. In short, the Left really disliked Reagan (and H.W. Bush by association), so when Clinton took office, the Right really disliked him... to the point where they impeached him. Then 2000 happened, and the Left responded to the impeachment of Clinton and the disputed election by HATING George W. Bush. The Right responded to this hating of Bush by HATING Barack Obama...  many would say even more intensely. What makes anyone think that the result of this election won't be the Right continuing to HATE Obama (and likely beginning to look for ways to impeach him) or the Left HATING a President Romney?

Oh, and speaking of 2000... it's possible that that might happen again. By some projections, it could be 2000 in reverse. Romney could win the popular vote, only to have Obama rack up the necessary 270 electoral votes and retain the presidency. If that happens... well, you thought 2000 was bad. The reaction to this could be even worse, particularly if another state recount is involved.

So now that I've dropped these doom-and-gloom scenarios on you, let me tell you what you can do to stop this from happening. First of all, VOTE tomorrow. I cannot stand media elitists (and ordinary elitists) suggesting that people not vote for reasons such as they're not informed enough, can't make up their minds, or worse, they're going to vote for "the other guy." Or far worse, suggesting that people not vote instead of "wasting their votes" on a third-party candidate. Sorry, the two-party system these days is a JOKE. People who want to vote their conscience and support someone who won't win but who more accurately reflects their views than Obama or Romney do should not be told that their votes don't matter. If someone feels that a vote for Obama or Romney is a vote for the lesser of two evils, don't attack them simply because they feel that they have other options (which they do).

Secondly, after you've voted... pledge to be civil. Whatever the outcome, show some freakin' respect for our democratic process, flawed though it may be. If your guy wins, be classy about it. If your guy loses, again be classy. Lose with dignity. Pledge to give the winner the benefit of the doubt. There will be plenty of time (four years worth) to protest his wrong moves should he decide to make them. Show respect for the people who disagreed with you and voted for the other guy, regardless of the outcome. As our president said not too long ago, "We can disagree without being disagreeable."

I did not vote for our current president. I think he's made moves that I disagree with. But I have respect for the office. He's the guy who got elected to be president four years ago, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I didn't immediately join those who rooted for him to fail and have done nothing but that for his entire term. This allowed me to realize that Obama has done made some right moves as well, and not to immediately recoil and seethe at the mere mention of his name. I'm not revealing who I will vote for in this space, but I do know that I will give whomever wins the benefit of the doubt. I will oppose when I feel that it is right to oppose. I will support when I feel that it is right to support. In other words, I will exercise common sense, rationality, civility, and respect. Is it too much to ask for you, Dear Reader, to do the same? I hope it's not.

NFL 2012: I'm a Substitute for Another Ref

Sometimes I just like to put a Who reference in my titles... but really, the number one story of the NFL season as it begins today is those replacement refs. Will they screw up royally and change the outcome of a game/season? Or will they miss just as many calls as the regular refs do? Let's face it, the regular refs didn't always get it right either, and pro football does have the benefit of replay. That being said, I'm sure people will find The Replacement Refs to be even worse than the movie "The Replacements," where Keanu Reeves leads a ragtag bunch of scab football players to victory. I'm not sure if that will be the case, but it does give me a chance to say that the band The Replacements was pretty damn good back in the 1980s. There ya go, a football preview AND a Paul Westerberg reference...

Anyway, let's do this quick and dirty, as the season did kick off for the most part today, and therefore these picks already have a limited shelf life. Starting in the AFC East with my New York Jets... how about that 180 degree turn of events this afternoon? Apparently, Rex Ryan didn't just keep the Wildcat plays in his playbook; he kept THE ENTIRE OFFENSE in there. After scoring zero touchdowns with the first-string offense in the preseason, the Jets hung 48 on the supposedly stingy defense of Buffalo this afternoon. They scored in every possible way... Mark Sanchez throwing touchdown passes, Jeremy Kerley returning a punt for a touchdown, even a pick-6 for the Gang Green defense. Nick Folk even managed to kick two field goals successfully. Now obviously, this is a very small sample, but it's much more encouraging than what we saw in the games that don't count. Had I made my Jets pick before today, I probably would have said 8-8 and even that would have been wishful thinking. Instead, I think they're a playoff team again. Not good enough to beat the Patriots for the division title, but definitely a wild-card.

I hate the New England Patriots. I really do. But as long as Bill Belichick keeps coaching and Tom Brady keeps playing quarterback, and the front office keeps drafting players like SU alum Chandler Jones, there is no reason to believe they will relinquish their stranglehold on the AFC East. Buffalo had been considered a trendy wild-card pick by a few prognosticators. I think they're eating their words tonight with some extra Frank's Red Hot on them. CJ Spiller impressed with his 2nd half output, but they didn't get far without Fred Jackson last year, and if he's out for any extended period of time after his first-half leg injury, they won't get far without him in 2012. Or without the defense they were supposed to have, for that matter. Then there's Miami... um... well... at least you still have the Heat.

The AFC Central has been a tug-of-war between the Ravens and Steelers for the last few years. This year, there's a clear favorite. Baltimore will win the division. The Steelers are taking a step back, and will have to contend with the Bengals for a wild-card, and even then, neither team may get in. Sure, Andy Dalton impressed as a rookie last year in leading Cincinnati back to the postseason, but what can he do for an encore? In this age where kids go straight from first-round pick to wowing on Day One (see: Robert Griffin III), it's still important to maintain that success once you get there. I don't think the Bengals can do that. Cleveland may be playing for the first pick in next year's draft. Based on their recent draft strategy (and Brandon Weeden's first-game performance... you cannot tell me that he's better than Colt McCoy), they'll probably take yet another quarterback.

It was impressive enough that Houston won the AFC South and made their first-ever playoff appearance last season; that they cleared the last couple of hurdles with their third-string QB was even more impressive. Matt Schaub is back behind the controls, and the Texans have no real competition in their division. Sorry Tennessee, you're not that good. The Colts have their new franchise QB in Andrew Luck, but there was a lot of talent that needed to be replaced in Indy after last year's 2-14 debacle. It took 2 years for the Colts to jell around Peyton Manning to the point where he became the cornerstone of the franchise for a decade. It will take Luck at least that long. They'll be better than Jacksonville, though. The mere fact that the Jags recycled Mike Mularkey and gave him another head coaching job ensures that the Colts will finish higher. Meanwhile, people in Los Angeles continue to scratch their heads, and ask, "How is it that Jacksonville still has a team, and we don't?"

Speaking of Manning, he's now in Denver, and if he truly is back to normal, that would lock up the AFC West for the Broncos, right? Well, not so fast. I'm not sold on Manning as being 100 percent, not until I see half a season out of him, and with my doubts firmly in place, I'm going elsewhere to pick a division champion. The Chargers had a down year in 2011, but somehow Norv Turner kept his job. This isn't gonna be the case if they continue to struggle this year. Turner may soon be Chris Berman's new "Rasputin" coach, the title he once hung on former Detroit head coach Wayne Fontes, who always seemed to be one more loss away from getting whacked. San Diego wins the West. Denver contends for a wild-card. If Manning lives up to his past successes, they're in. If not, they settle around .500 where you'll also find the middling Kansas City Chiefs. The Oakland Raiders will plunge back to the AFC West cellar because... well, they're the Raiders. All of that optimism from last year will evaporate as soon as Raider Nation realizes that Darren McFadden can't play 16 games, Carson Palmer is past his prime, and you don't whack a head coach when you're on the verge of getting back to the playoffs.

Turning now to the NFC East... this is where I ask (like I seem to do every year) what the hell NFL experts are smoking, thinking the Dallas Cowboys will return to prominence this year. Yeah, Tony Romo may get an unfair share of the blame for the Cowboys' missteps in the past few years (well, except for their postseason failures, which are ALL on him), but it sure seems like there have been a lot of wastes of good efforts in Big D recently. He puts up numbers, but not W's. The defense is good, but doesn't win games. There just seems to be something hanging over the franchise, like some force that prevents good mojo from associating itself with "America's Team." Oh that's right, I figured out what it is... Jerry Jones. Anyway, the division is up for grabs between the defending World Champion Giants, and the Philadelphia Eagles, who will have to do way better than they did today to A) make the playoffs, and B) stop the fans from calling for Andy Reid's head on a weekly basis. Oh Eagles fans, you're nothing if not mind-numbingly consistent. "Yay, we're 1-0... but fire him anyway!" Oh yeah, how about that RG3? Washington's new savior hung 40 on the Saints today; apparently, he wasn't done putting video-game numbers up on the scoreboard when he left Baylor. Griffin will make for entertaining football, which Redskins fans desperately want to see, but it will only be good enough to put them ahead of just the Cowboys in the East.

I called it last year when I thought Detroit would become a playoff team. At the time, however, I thought they were building toward something greater. That went out the window when half the roster landed on the police blotter during the offseason. Despite the appearance of having less talent than a year ago (particularly with Jahvid Best injured yet again), the young Lions have learned how to win, and put that together with Matthew Stafford and Megatron, and they have a chance at sneaking back into the postseason this year. The Packers started the 2012 season with a spectacular thud against the Niners, but they're too good to stay down for too long. Chicago will be right there in the mix as well. The Vikings are getting a new stadium soon; now the question is can they build the team up to be a contender by the time it opens?

I expected better of Cam Newton today... because he's my fantasy quarterback, and because, well, he was another one of these awesome rookie QBs from last season. But give new Bucs head coach Greg Schiano credit for taking care of business and holding the Carolina offense largely in check. Tampa Bay pulled off a huge opening week win, and it kinda makes the NFC South a little more wide-open than we may have thought. Now Atlanta is the team to beat, but they always seem shaky, like they're capable of pulling off a stinker like they did in the playoffs last January at any time. New Orleans may not have to worry about losing their players to suspension after "bounty-gate," but you just have to wonder about the psychological toll on the franchise of losing their head coach for a year, the now-overturned suspensions, and the tense contract negotiations with Drew Brees right before training camp. So Carolina may have had an opening with Newton's continued improvement, but as we saw today, you can't just assume it will continue unabated.

Finally, in the NFC West, San Francisco took a giant leap forward today in convincing people that Jim Harbaugh's first season as head coach was no fluke. This is a team that is just rounding into form, with plenty of upside. In fact, they could be heading to the Super Bowl this February. It helps that they again will have no real competition in their division. Even with the Niners' success, I still consider the NFC West to be the Worst Division in Football. Seattle got a lot of hype as a possible challenger with Russell Wilson at quarterback, but they tripped over themselves and lost to the lowly Cardinals today. The Rams aren't a bottom-feeder, but they're not world-beaters, either. Arizona is still trying to figure out how to recapture the magic of their Super Bowl run from four years ago. So like I said, no real competition.

Here's how the records will shake out in 2012 (playoff teams marked with *)...

AFC East: New England 12-4*, NY Jets 10-6*, Buffalo 6-10, Miami 4-12
AFC North: Baltimore 12-4*, Pittsburgh 9-7, Cincinnati 8-8, Cleveland 1-15
AFC South: Houston 11-5*, Tennessee 8-8, Indianapolis 5-11, Jacksonville 3-13
AFC West: San Diego 10-6*, Denver 9-7*, Kansas City 8-8, Oakland 5-11

NFC East: Philadelphia 10-6*, NY Giants 10-6*, Washington 7-9, Dallas 6-10
NFC North: Chicago 12-5*, Green Bay 12-5*, Detroit 10-6, Minnesota 4-12
NFC South: Atlanta 10-6*, New Orleans 9-7, Carolina 7-9, Tampa Bay 6-10
NFC West: San Francisco 13-3*, Seattle 8-8, Arizona 6-10, St. Louis 5-11

Hoping for Mediocrity

As a sports fan, I'm pretty glum right now. Looking at where things are and where they're going for the various teams for which I root, glum's the word.

Recent 4-game winning streak aside (including finishing up a 7-2 season at Citizens Bank Park), the Mets have been absolutely dreadful since the All-Star Break. The low-water mark may have been when they followed up getting swept at home by the last-place Rockies with a series-opening loss to the Houston Astros, the worst team in baseball. At that point, the Mets had "successfully" compiled a 4-13 record against the three worst teams in the National League (including the woeful Cubs), and had an 11-30 record since July 7, the worst in baseball. Two-thirds of the starting outfield was sent to the minors: Kirk Nieuwenhuis after slumping badly for most of June and July, and Lucas Duda after not homering for 6 weeks and becoming a distraction in the clubhouse.

In a desperate move to stay in the race, Terry Collins sent Johan Santana to the mound twice with a bum ankle, only to see him get thoroughly shelled, sent to the DL, and eventually shut down for the year. The top pitching prospect, Matt Harvey, was stuck at Buffalo while an injured Santana, an ineffective Jeremy Hefner, and an over-the-hill Miguel Batista started instead. By the time Harvey finally got the call, it was too little too late. He has pitched quite well, going 3-3 with some great strikeout numbers, but he has gotten poor run support. All in all, we're looking at a 72-75 win season, and despite tonight's win over the Marlins, there is still a very real chance that the Mets will end up with the last-place finish everyone expected of them.

Now before the season, I would have been THRILLED with a 72-75 win season. Experts were saying it would be a good year if the Mets didn't lose 100 games. The problem is that when you tease us into thinking this team is better than it really is, that tells me that a rah-rah guy like Terry Collins is only effective for half a season. I didn't like the hire of Terry Collins to begin with, and what happened in Houston and Anaheim when he managed those teams is happening here. Good, encouraging starts, followed by miserable endings. The last two times a Mets team overachieved in a first half, hit the All-Star Break in contention, and then completely imploded (2004 and 2010), the GM and manager were both gone after the season.

I don't hold Sandy Alderson responsible for this mess, however. He's doing the best he can with the situation he has been handed. I still think the Wilpons should just sell the team, but that's not going to happen. Now Alderson has made some bad moves, most notably in the bullpen, but he got rid of the dead weight, made a culture change with Collins, brought along some good young talent, and things actually look brighter now than they did going into the season. But we need a manager who can really take this team into contention for a full season. Collins ain't it. He's shown previously that he's the guy who puts you in position for the next guy to finish the job. He got fired in Houston in 1996 after (wait for it) a late-season collapse. Larry Dierker promptly came in and won 3 straight NL Central titles. Collins got whacked in Anaheim in 1999. Mike Scioscia came in the next season, and 2 years later won the World Series. After this season, the Mets should look for their Dierker/Scioscia who will take this mix of solid veterans (R.A. Dickey, David Wright, Santana) and great young talent (Ike Davis, Harvey,  Daniel Murphy, Jonathon Niese, Ruben Tejada) and make a playoff run sooner rather than later. Naturally, they should also extend Wright's contract and keep him in Flushing for the rest of his career.

So with the darkening skies of the baseball season starting to push off, it's time for football. I'd be excited about my New York Jets, but they just got done failing to score a single touchdown with their first-team offense for the ENTIRE PRESEASON. It's hard to believe the Jets will make the playoffs with such an anemic offense, but Week 1 will tell us a lot when the Jets play the Buffalo Bills, a team that also struggled mightily on offense in the preseason. If one team gets it together in the opener, you have to think they're an early contender for the AFC East's lone Wild Card entry. If one (or both) continues to scuffle, it's gonna be a long year. I'll go deeper into the NFL in my customary pro preview next week.

College football opens this weekend, and opened quite well for my current school, Temple. Now, of course, they were playing Villanova... but it wasn't that long ago that Villanova beat Temple (2009). And the next year, Temple had to pull victory from the jaws of defeat against their Philly FCS rival. The last two years have been more one-sided affairs. Tonight's margin was 41-10. Temple joins the Big East this year, and just about everyone has them finishing last. Why? Because they're Temple. When last we saw the Owls in the Big East, they were pathetic (except against Syracuse). When the Big East kicked them out of the conference, Temple almost dropped football entirely. But in one of the true feel-good stories in college football, Al Golden resurrected the program in the MAC, got the Owls to a bowl game, and after Steve Addazio guided Temple to another bowl berth (and a win) last year, they were welcomed back to the Big East with open arms. And then promptly predicted to return to their losing ways.

There's real talent on this Temple team, particularly on offense. QB Chris Coyer is right out of the Tim Tebow mold, 6'3 and 230 pounds, and he will not only run you over, he will lay you out blocking for one of his running backs, as he did on one play tonight. Like Tebow, his passing needs work; although he looked good against Wyoming in the New Mexico Bowl, he threw too many passes at receivers' feet tonight. Matt Brown is the smallest guy on the field, standing just 5'5. He's also the most exciting. He rushed for 141 yards tonight and had a couple of electrifying kick returns. Montell Harris, the active FBS career rushing leader, joins Brown in the backfield after being kicked off the team at Boston College during the offseason. He was ineffective tonight (6 carries, 15 yards) and injured his hamstring, but you have to figure that a healthy Harris will cause some problems for Big East defenses. Also, third-stringer Kenneth Harper looked impressive, breaking a 38-yard TD run.

The defense has some impressive players, like freshman LB Nate Smith and ballhawking CB Vaughn Carraway, who tonight had a pick-6 and a fumble recovery that led to another Temple TD. However, Villanova's mobile backup QB John Robertson seemed to give the Owls defense fits at times when he was on the field. The secondary also struggled to cover receivers, although the Wildcats helped them out with a few drops. One wonders how they will do against a QB like South Florida's dynamic B.J. Daniels or Syracuse's Ryan Nassib. Next week will be a much better test, as the Owls play a Maryland team that they demolished last year in College Park. Temple seems to have Terps' coach Randy Edsall's number, having also beaten him in his last year at UConn in 2010. If they take care of business at the Linc and go to 2-0, the Big East should be served proper notice that the Owls will not be a cellar-dweller in 2012. However, the sky isn't exactly the limit either; this is still a tough conference. My call is 6-6, good enough for another bowl bid, as Temple picks off a couple of Big East foes and lays the groundwork for better years to come.

That brings me to Syracuse. My Orange, the team I have rooted for my entire life, were on the verge of recalling the glory days of the 80s and 90s when they followed their 8-5, Pinstripe Bowl-winning 2010 season with a 5-2 start to 2011, capped by a nationally-televised rout of West Virginia. Then, the wheels fell off. SU lost their last 5 games, and in doing so, whipped the obligatory crowd of Anonymous Internet Morons into a frenzy. The 'Cuse has the toughest non-conference schedule in the country; everyone has mentioned this. They open with a Northwestern team that went bowling last year, followed by top-ranked USC in a "home game" at the Meadowlands. FCS foe Stony Brook is no pushover, not with Iowa transfer and former 1000-yard rusher Marcus Coker joining the Seawolves backfield. Minnesota isn't the toughest team in the world, but it's a Big Ten opponent on the road. Missouri is also a road game, and they're certainly going to be a challenge. The experts picked Syracuse to finish ahead of only Temple in the Big East. Most predictions land around 6-6; some optimistic Orange fans think an 8-4 or 9-3 season is possible, and wouldn't it be great to take a Big East title with us to the ACC next year? Internet trolls are saying 4-8 or 3-9 and hoping head coach Doug Marrone will be dismissed after the season.

The upside is this SU team has a lot of depth right now. They have Nassib, a third-year starter who broke several passing records last year. They have Marcus Sales returning from suspension to be a deep threat at receiver, alongside reliable Alec Lemon. They have three running backs with game experience in Prince-Tyson Gulley, Adonis Ameen-Moore, and Jerome Smith. They have flashy freshman Ashton Broyld to run the "wildcat/stallion/whatever-it's-called." The defense goes two-deep at linebacker with players who have game experience. The D-line is seasoned and deep as well. Kicker Ross Krautmann is a third-year starter who "underachieved" last year because he missed more than one field goal, falling shy of his unreal freshman year rate of success.

The downside is that a lot of these SU players with experience haven't had that experience when the chips are down. They've looked good in spots, against lesser foes, and are still quite young at most positions. We know now (thanks to a great piece in the Daily Orange) that a lot of the defense was banged up late last season. Do they have their swagger back? With Sales back in the lineup, can Nassib deliver the deep ball at which he failed to excel in 2011? Will running back-by-committee work? Can the offensive line give these playmakers time and space to do what we hope they can do (especially without standout tackle Justin Pugh, who is currently injured)? Those questions - and the continuing uncertainty of some about Marrone, despite his much-better record than predecessor Greg Robinson - are why SU fans aren't sold on this team. Which SU will we get this year? The 13-7 team from 2010 through the 2011 WVU game? Or the 0-5 team that finished last year?

We'll find out right away, because Northwestern looms tomorrow at high noon in a sweltering Carrier Dome. I don't like to say that the first game can make or break your season, but this year, that could be the case. Lose to Northwestern, and you're looking at 0-2 after USC... and 0-7 since that October Friday night against the now-Big 12 Mountaineers. The vultures will start circling quickly. I'm an optimist at heart, so I'm going with the 6-6 prediction of my peers. They will beat NW, Stony Brook, and Minnesota out of conference to go to a 3-1 start. They'll knock off UConn in their 2nd crack at Coach P, they will pull another Big East win out of their hats in October, and they will knock off Temple at the Linc on Black Friday to get back to a bowl game. Imagine if the Owls and Orange are both 5-6 going into that game (much like SU and Pitt were going into last year's finale). Talk about tension.

So I realize that I just made "optimistic" predictions of 6-6 for both Temple and Syracuse. It's kinda sad that with the teams I follow, I'm hoping for mediocrity and just barely squeezing into the postseason. Unfortunately, such is the state of things right now. Oh, and my Buffalo Sabres start training camp soon. My expectation for them? Being just mediocre enough to squeeze into the NHL playoffs (if there's a season of course, labor headaches notwithstanding). I am nothing if not consistent.

Spoiler Alert! Here's the Olympics Review

The Games of the 30th Olympiad are about to finish in London. No, I didn't use Roman numerals because I know where your minds would go if I wrote "XXX Olympiad"... because my mind would go there too.

Any review of the Olympics will begin and end with NBC's coverage, and the fact that we seem to hate it, but we still can't get enough of it. The contradiction begins with the fact that NBC, now in the hands of Comcast, is able to spread out the programming over more networks than ever. CNBC was the Boxing Channel, Bravo had all the tennis, and if you were fortunate enough to have Comcast as your cable system, you also got channels completely devoted to basketball and soccer. Meanwhile, MSNBC and the NBC Sports Network bounced around from obscure event to obscure event, giving them a degree of attention never before seen, and the chance for people to find their new quirky sport-of-choice in this quadrennial global competition.

Like archery. For me, archery is now the Summer Olympics version of curling. When it's on, I've gotta watch. When Americans are involved, people suddenly think they are experts at the fine art of the bow and arrow. I don't... I tried archery in summer camp when I was a kid, and I was in way over my head. It's a miracle I didn't injure anyone with a wayward arrow. The "uniforms" also got a lot of attention; the Americans dressed like they were out for a day in the woods hunting for deer, the South Koreans wearing LL Cool J-like kangaroo hats and hipster glasses. I tried to get into some of the other non-mainstream events, but they didn't have the appeal of archery. Handball? Yeah, I don't get it. It just looks like a bunch of guys playing some kind of cross between soccer and basketball with no dribbling. So if that doesn't work for ya, how about we take this game, throw everyone in a pool, and call it water polo. I tried watching that as well, and despite NBC's savvy move of putting hockey play-by-play master Doc Emrick on announcing duties, my reaction was kinda meh. And poor Pierre McGuire, reduced to poolside interviews with dripping-wet competitors.

Perhaps in Rio they should put Emrick and McGuire on field hockey... at least it's a little closer to their natural sport, and they might liven up things a little. Aside from the Boise State-like "smurf turf", Olympic field hockey was a little lacking. I've watched field hockey played at the collegiate level, and the women's game unfortunately has all the problems of women's lacrosse... they blow the whistle every 10 seconds and there is no flow to the game. The men's game is pretty exciting, although it's rather annoying that they only let you score from one place on the field and the other team can just pack all of their players into that area to prevent the ball from getting in. It's like saying you can only score in the paint in basketball and allowing the opponent to put all 5 of their guys there. I also tried to watch fencing... all I got from that was that they use swords, and there's a lot of yelling. Seriously. After every freakin' point, someone screams. I watched the women's gold medal match, and I haven't seen so many Italians yelling since the last time I watched "Jersey Shore." (Ba dum bum) But seriously, folks...

So I'm grateful that NBC/Universal/Comcast gave us so many opportunities to watch these different events. However, the one thing NBC refused to do was show major events live... unless of course you had the wherewithal to go online and stream them, and the patience to put up with the inevitable hiccups that still come with streaming. Instead, they held off until prime-time, after the rest of the world had already told you what happened. Oh sure, some news organizations decided to be fair and just announce that the competitions were over and if you wanted to know, you could click a link to find out, but the purpose of these spoiler-free tweets were defeated by the 5 tweets surrounding them that either came from news organizations that had no problem giving spoilers or from the people you follow cheering wildly for the results. But despite the calls of some to boycott the prime-time coverage to send NBC the appropriate message, we all watched anyway, giving NBC record ratings and a chance to break even financially. Of course, this means that NBC will brush off any and all criticism for their delay tactics and do the exact same thing 2 years from now at the next Winter games in Russia.

Meanwhile, the Internet fights back by giving us reason to laugh about it all. An "NBC Delayed" Twitter account popped up the day after the Opening Ceremony, and within hours had 5,000 followers.  As of now, it's over 30,000. In an age where memes pop up and spread like wildfire, the image of an "unimpressed" McKayla Maroney brushing off major world events became just as popular as the photoshopped Curiosity pictures from Mars. As I've said before, this is how we deal with most things in the Internet age; we have our initial emotional response (joy/anger/etc.)... then we make fun of them.

Or we continue to get mad at each other... as has been the case with the latest international Twitter fight between the United States and Canada. No, Ottawa Senators hockey goon Chris Neil was not the cause of this flame war, which is rather shocking because he usually is the primary reason that Canadians and Americans attack each other online. Anyway, following some sketchy officiating in the semifinal women's soccer match between the favored Americans and the upstart Canadians, Canada spent the rest of the medal round convinced that the U.S. was playing 14-on-11, if you get my drift. A missed handball call and a missed penalty-box tackle that would have given Japan ample opportunity to win or at least tie the gold medal game didn't help. I'm glad that our neighbors to the north dusted themselves off and beat France to take the nation's first medal in a team sport since 1936, but in the eyes of many Canadians, the medal should have been gold. Even Canadian star Christine Sinclair hinted that the fix was in. Oh by the way, the next Women's World Cup in 2015... will be played in CANADA. I'm betting that the Canadian fans will not forget what happened in London, and our women will likely be booed every time they take the field.

Let's see, what else happened during the Olympics... oh yeah, lots of track and field and lots of swimming. Usain Bolt is ridiculously fast, and quite frankly, he's gotta be bored with winning so easily. Our American women spread the wealth around; there is no central figure like a FloJo or Gail Devers. Instead, we have Allison Felix, Sanya Richards-Ross, Carmelita Jeter, and the list goes on. Michael Phelps retired as the greatest Olympian ever, and is now free to smoke all the bongs. Our most impressive female Olympians may have been the youngest. In terms of swimming, it's amazing that a 17-year old Missy Franklin can crush the competition like she does, and perhaps she might be looking to pull a Phelps-like 8-for-8 gold medal spree in Rio. Oh, and a 15-year old Katie Ledecky trounced the field in the 800 meters. It's crazy to think that they can only get better from here. In terms of gymnastics... well, it's a little creepy that the American rule of thumb now seems to be that when you reach voting age, you're finished. Yes, our "Fierce Five" won gold, but when Maroney disappointed in her signature event, the vault, the first thing I thought was what a shame it would be that she'll never get another chance at the gold... because in 4 years, she'll be a far-too-old-by-American-standards 20 years of age. Oh well, at least she and Aly Raisman and Jordyn Wieber probably have "Dancing With the Stars" in their future. Meanwhile, Gabby Douglas has a Corn Flakes box and stardom ahead of her... regardless of what others think about her hair.

It looks like the U.S. will wrap up first in the medal count, and the British exceeded their goal of 48 medals. It's always good when the home team makes their fans happy, regardless of who they are. Which brings me to Rio 2016. Brazil's on the way up, with a lot of team sports making the medal round. I'll be intrigued to see how well they do with the Olympics on their home turf in 4 years... and as it will actually be on our side of the planet, perhaps NBC might actually decide to show everything live.

Or not.