Everybody's Not Impressed By a Good List
As I started to think back on 2012, I was immediately struck by how so many things disappointed us as the year went on. It wasn’t the greatest year ever; true, it wasn’t the worst either, but it seemed like a lot of things did not live up to the hype or our expectations. So it is with that in mind that I present to you the unofficial “THIS JUST IN” mascot for 2012…
This is McKayla Maroney. She’s not impressed. I’m sure you’re all quite familiar with the Internet meme that sprung up following the American gymnast’s disappointing silver-medal finish in her signature Olympic event. “Not impressed” could describe my reaction to a lot of things that happened in 2012.
Solutions to the impending “fiscal cliff”? Not impressed.
Hell, solutions to ANY of the problems that this country faces? Not impressed.
The NHL lockout? Not impressed in the least.
The performance of my favorite sports teams? FAR from impressed.
My ability to keep this blog updated? Not impressed at all… and on that note, I guess it’s become pretty obvious that this blog won’t be as regular an occurrence as it used to be. It’s not that I don’t have opinions that I wish to share, but the world of academia has taken up more and more of my time, and as much as I dislike the idea of anything limiting my desire to express my views, the job search process makes me hesitant to be controversial in a way that would jeopardize my chances of finding work after I finish my doctorate. But I do still want to give my review of the year that was, and in that spirit, here’s this year’s list…
Most Overplayed Song of 2012: Really? You have to ask? Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy… but I just used the setup for a million punchlines and even more cheesy YouTube videos. And based on past ridiculous behavior, I’m really surprised some Fox News anchor somewhere didn’t attack Carly Rae Jepsen for being “unladylike” for giving a guy her number and wanting him to call her, maybe.
Record-Breaker for Quickest Song to Go From Hipster Favorite to Complete Sell-Out: Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” This song was generating raves from hipster communities from coast to coast in January, generating artistic online video versions. By April, it was being used in a promo for “Glee.” By June, most people wanted to kill themselves every time it came on the radio. A close second to “Call Me Maybe” for Most Overplayed Song, and very deserving of its own category.
Most Overplayed Artist of 2012: STILL Rihanna. It doesn’t help when even Coldplay wants her voice on a song. Oh, and then she released YET ANOTHER ALBUM this year.
Who We Will Talk About in Music in 2013: Rihanna (obviously), Paramore, Mariah Carey (following previous singing competition judges J-Lo and X-tina with a comeback of her own), Lady Gaga, The Gaslight Anthem, more artists who (unfortunately) get their songs recognized for being in commercials instead of for being any good, and the continuing emergence of City & Colour and Tokyo Police Club in the US after much success in their native Canada.
Who Should Just Go Away in 2013: At the top of the list is rapper 2 Chainz… because nobody has done more to re-establish the genre of rap as a world of female exploitation than this guy. His “Birthday Song” (with fellow noted douchebag Kanye West) sent the use of “big booty ho” to levels not seen since the days of 2 Live Crew. His videos are throwbacks to the 1990s, and not in a good way. The fact that rap “authorities” like The Source considered him to be their “Man of the Year” should make hip-hop aficionados ashamed. So yeah, the sooner that fans of good music and respect for women band together to run 2 Chainz out of the music business, the better. Oh, and Nickelback needs to go away as well… and since she’s marrying into the band, take Avril Lavigne with you.
Predictions I Got Right: I was correct on Taylor Kitsch extending his box office bombing run to 3 movies in a row… “Battleship” joined “John Carter” as massive failures, and even though “Savages” made money in the end, they were hoping for a little better than $50 million out of a mid-summer release with Oliver Stone at the helm. Kitsch probably won’t get top billing again unless it’s as Tim Riggins in the rumored “Friday Night Lights” movie of the TV series based on the movie. The Black Keys and Green Day put out albums (the latter put out 3), but while “El Camino” has been largely viewed as a strong follow-up to the Grammy-winning “Brothers”, the “Uno! Dos! Tré!” trilogy has received mixed reviews. I also called 6 of the 8 NFL division winners and had a 7th (Denver) making the playoffs.
Predictions I Completely %#$&ed Up: I’m pretty happy that I was wrong in predicting that the losing side of the presidential election would go batshit crazy because they thought they had it in the bag. Aside from the right-wing talk radio machine comparing our president to Santa Claus for giving voters whatever they want (and Katrina Van den Heuvel, who saw the result as a mandate for President Obama to go as far Left as he wants), people were quick to accept the results and acknowledge that we need to work together to fix our problems… which makes our displeasure over the continuing dysfunction in Washington that much more resounding. I also learned a lesson about using the Week 1 results to make NFL predictions… I viewed the Jets’ season-opening thumping of Buffalo as the start of a playoff run. Instead, the Jets became the NFL’s most visible dumpster fire, made “butt-fumble” a thing, and brought a 6-10 season full-circle today by getting beaten badly… by Buffalo. I had Temple and SU both going 6-6; instead they went in opposite directions, Syracuse to 8-5 with another Pinstripe Bowl win, Temple to 4-8 (although they didn’t finish last in the Big East… a prediction I got right but everyone else got wrong).
Best New Album I Got This Year: Easy answer here. Metric’s “Synthetica” is a masterpiece. The songs are sonically amazing, Emily Haines’s voice is equal parts playful and cutting, and the album flows in such a manner that if you have any emotional issues to work out, you’ll have done so by the time you finish one full pass. The opening three-song suite of “Artifical Nocturne,” “Youth Without Youth,” and “Speed the Collapse” is a nonstop adrenaline rush. From there, “Synthetica” turns introspective, then bouncy, before bringing you in for a soft, Lou Reed-assisted landing.
And Finally: Although this blog doesn’t get updated quite so much anymore, it’s no indication of how things are going in my life. Despite how unimpressed the year's events left me, I’m quite happy with the way things are going, to be honest. I think 2013 will be a good year for myself, and I hope it’s a good year for all of us. Considering how rough December has been, we all could use a good 2013.
This is McKayla Maroney. She’s not impressed. I’m sure you’re all quite familiar with the Internet meme that sprung up following the American gymnast’s disappointing silver-medal finish in her signature Olympic event. “Not impressed” could describe my reaction to a lot of things that happened in 2012.
Solutions to the impending “fiscal cliff”? Not impressed.
Hell, solutions to ANY of the problems that this country faces? Not impressed.
The NHL lockout? Not impressed in the least.
The performance of my favorite sports teams? FAR from impressed.
My ability to keep this blog updated? Not impressed at all… and on that note, I guess it’s become pretty obvious that this blog won’t be as regular an occurrence as it used to be. It’s not that I don’t have opinions that I wish to share, but the world of academia has taken up more and more of my time, and as much as I dislike the idea of anything limiting my desire to express my views, the job search process makes me hesitant to be controversial in a way that would jeopardize my chances of finding work after I finish my doctorate. But I do still want to give my review of the year that was, and in that spirit, here’s this year’s list…
Dumb PETA Protest of the Year: PETA ran an ad satirizing
violence against women, inferring that men who choose a vegan lifestyle
become sexual animals who can “bring it like a tantric porn star.” There is
NOTHING funny about the idea of a woman getting sexually “wrecked” or
“destroyed” (as the kids – unfortunately – like to say these days) by a man for
any reason.
Zero Tolerance Strikes Again: 2 kids in New Jersey who have
albinism got
sunburned severely because zero-tolerance policies forbade them from
bringing sunscreen to school… because the FDA regulates it as an
over-the-counter drug. The silliness of incidents like this unfortunately got
worse after the tragic school shooting in Newtown, CT. Now we have people
looking a little too hard for “signs” of trouble, resulting in a New Jersey kid
who nobody found to be a threat to anyone being sent to juvenile detention…
because he
drew a picture of a glove with flames coming out of it in school.
Dumb Lawsuit of the Year: A 45-year old New Jersey woman sued
a 13-year old boy because she claimed that the boy threw a baseball at her
face on purpose. He was helping his Little League teammate warm up in the
bullpen, and he misfired on a return throw. She even said she was okay when he
went to help… but then some ambulance chaser found her and she suddenly decided
that this boy should (somehow) give her $500,000. Hm, perhaps when the judge
throws this one out of court, he should mandate that the lawyer get drilled in
the face as well.
Most Overplayed Song of 2012: Really? You have to ask? Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy… but I just used the setup for a million punchlines and even more cheesy YouTube videos. And based on past ridiculous behavior, I’m really surprised some Fox News anchor somewhere didn’t attack Carly Rae Jepsen for being “unladylike” for giving a guy her number and wanting him to call her, maybe.
Record-Breaker for Quickest Song to Go From Hipster Favorite to Complete Sell-Out: Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” This song was generating raves from hipster communities from coast to coast in January, generating artistic online video versions. By April, it was being used in a promo for “Glee.” By June, most people wanted to kill themselves every time it came on the radio. A close second to “Call Me Maybe” for Most Overplayed Song, and very deserving of its own category.
Most Overplayed Artist of 2012: STILL Rihanna. It doesn’t help when even Coldplay wants her voice on a song. Oh, and then she released YET ANOTHER ALBUM this year.
Who We Will Talk About in Music in 2013: Rihanna (obviously), Paramore, Mariah Carey (following previous singing competition judges J-Lo and X-tina with a comeback of her own), Lady Gaga, The Gaslight Anthem, more artists who (unfortunately) get their songs recognized for being in commercials instead of for being any good, and the continuing emergence of City & Colour and Tokyo Police Club in the US after much success in their native Canada.
Who Should Just Go Away in 2013: At the top of the list is rapper 2 Chainz… because nobody has done more to re-establish the genre of rap as a world of female exploitation than this guy. His “Birthday Song” (with fellow noted douchebag Kanye West) sent the use of “big booty ho” to levels not seen since the days of 2 Live Crew. His videos are throwbacks to the 1990s, and not in a good way. The fact that rap “authorities” like The Source considered him to be their “Man of the Year” should make hip-hop aficionados ashamed. So yeah, the sooner that fans of good music and respect for women band together to run 2 Chainz out of the music business, the better. Oh, and Nickelback needs to go away as well… and since she’s marrying into the band, take Avril Lavigne with you.
Predictions I Got Right: I was correct on Taylor Kitsch extending his box office bombing run to 3 movies in a row… “Battleship” joined “John Carter” as massive failures, and even though “Savages” made money in the end, they were hoping for a little better than $50 million out of a mid-summer release with Oliver Stone at the helm. Kitsch probably won’t get top billing again unless it’s as Tim Riggins in the rumored “Friday Night Lights” movie of the TV series based on the movie. The Black Keys and Green Day put out albums (the latter put out 3), but while “El Camino” has been largely viewed as a strong follow-up to the Grammy-winning “Brothers”, the “Uno! Dos! Tré!” trilogy has received mixed reviews. I also called 6 of the 8 NFL division winners and had a 7th (Denver) making the playoffs.
Predictions I Completely %#$&ed Up: I’m pretty happy that I was wrong in predicting that the losing side of the presidential election would go batshit crazy because they thought they had it in the bag. Aside from the right-wing talk radio machine comparing our president to Santa Claus for giving voters whatever they want (and Katrina Van den Heuvel, who saw the result as a mandate for President Obama to go as far Left as he wants), people were quick to accept the results and acknowledge that we need to work together to fix our problems… which makes our displeasure over the continuing dysfunction in Washington that much more resounding. I also learned a lesson about using the Week 1 results to make NFL predictions… I viewed the Jets’ season-opening thumping of Buffalo as the start of a playoff run. Instead, the Jets became the NFL’s most visible dumpster fire, made “butt-fumble” a thing, and brought a 6-10 season full-circle today by getting beaten badly… by Buffalo. I had Temple and SU both going 6-6; instead they went in opposite directions, Syracuse to 8-5 with another Pinstripe Bowl win, Temple to 4-8 (although they didn’t finish last in the Big East… a prediction I got right but everyone else got wrong).
Best New Album I Got This Year: Easy answer here. Metric’s “Synthetica” is a masterpiece. The songs are sonically amazing, Emily Haines’s voice is equal parts playful and cutting, and the album flows in such a manner that if you have any emotional issues to work out, you’ll have done so by the time you finish one full pass. The opening three-song suite of “Artifical Nocturne,” “Youth Without Youth,” and “Speed the Collapse” is a nonstop adrenaline rush. From there, “Synthetica” turns introspective, then bouncy, before bringing you in for a soft, Lou Reed-assisted landing.
And Finally: Although this blog doesn’t get updated quite so much anymore, it’s no indication of how things are going in my life. Despite how unimpressed the year's events left me, I’m quite happy with the way things are going, to be honest. I think 2013 will be a good year for myself, and I hope it’s a good year for all of us. Considering how rough December has been, we all could use a good 2013.
posted by Dave | 7:58 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home