Americana Panorama, Part 2
So, where was I? Ah yes, on my way back to Frederick (some three-plus weeks after the original trip, due to car problems and an install-proof CD player). This time around, it's partly so I can see a former PD of mine who now calls Fred-neck home. Unlike last time, I made sure I had more than enough time to do everything I wanted to do, as the first time I went, I proclaimed upon buying my new CD player that I had "just enough time to get back home". You should never say this, it is a recipe for disaster. Sure enough, there was an 18 wheeler off the road on I-81 just north of Hagerstown, and needless to say I was late for front desk duty at the good ol' Y.
After meeting up with the ex-boss at his radio station (classic small-market look, reminded me of the olden days at Sunbury Broadcasting, up on top of a hill, right next to the towers, the offices and studios crammed together in one small building), we drop off the Passat at Best Buy, and it's off to see his new digs. Naturally, on the way I got to see where I messed up and got lost the first time (mental note: stick to the main roads, if it looks like an expressway, take it). Then, it's into a maze of housing developments, circling off from US 15 in a seemingly endless pattern. I am later informed that in just a few years, this whole huge tract of former farmland will be houses. The first thing I think is "wow, has this place been Cincinnatied (hee hee, got to use it again)", and the next is that I kinda feel sorry for the farmer who had to sell out. Suburban sprawl does often come with a price.
We pull up to the nicest freakin' house I have ever seen in my life. The guy lives in a PALACE!!! Well, not quite, but when you grow up in the "slums" of modern-day upstate New York suburbia, by comparison, it's a palace. They had to be the first owners of this place, couldn't be more than a year old. Folks, this is the American dream, just replace the white picket fence with a brownish, more natural wood tone (looks more modern, don't ya know).
Well, the story trails off from there, we eat lunch and I eventually get my car back (earlier than I thought) and go home. I'm not much of a "world traveler", so to speak, but seeing new things is always an exciting experience for me. I have joked sometimes that I go places just to say I've been there. Like, for example, a couple years back when I went to see my dad in Cincinnati, I went for a nice leisurely drive across the Ohio River into Kentucky, and proceeded to stop at a convenience store and buy a lottery ticket. Why? So I could say I had been to Kentucky. Then, that night, we drove out to Indiana to eat dinner. Why? So I could say I had been to Indiana. I could even get away with saying I've been to Illinois, although it was a layover at O'Hare both times, so that may not really count. Sitting here in Chambersburg, I am an hour's drive from anywhere in four states, which means there is a trip yet to be taken through four states in one afternoon. Why? So I could say I've done it. Yeah, I'm warped, I know...
Anyhoo, I said last time I had some more comparisons to make between Maryland, Pennsylvania, and New York, and nowhere else is there a better place to make such comparisons than the supermarket. Growing up in Syracuse, there was always a Byrne Dairy nearby that always had either 1% or 2% milk on special for $1.99, either that or Wegman's might have had a special on milk, dropping it to $1.59 or something like that. Imagine my surprise, then, the first time I walked into a supermarket down here and saw that the 1% milk was $2.70!!! And that was being billed as "sold at the state minimum"! There's your problem right there, the state sets milk prices; more government intervention causing problems for the average consumer. Whether or not this is to protect Pennsylvania's dairy farmers, I'm not sure, but for such a dramatic difference in price, I'm tempted to waste the extra gallon of gas to go to Maryland and see if it's any cheaper there.
The other main thing about Pennsylvania that will drive you nuts is the liquor laws. Yeah, Penn State and Susquehanna and other schools that specialize in the "we're in the middle of nowhere so all we can do is party" mentality are in this state, but the same is true with (insert SUNY school here) in New York. So, the Liquor Control Board runs the show here, and they tell you where you can get beer, how you can get it, and even how to remove it from the store. Let me sum up a typical B-double-E-double-R-U-N to a state-run liquor store. First of all, it better be before 8 or 9:00, because otherwise, it might be closed. They closed at 8 on NEW YEAR'S EVE, for heaven's sake!!! Don't they know most serious parties don't get underway before at least 10? And secondly, the state liquor store is the only place you can get said alcohol, not a convenience store, not a supermarket. So, you go in and order it from the counter (what is this, a doctor's office?) and they naturally check your ID, the only part of the process that actually makes some sense. Meanwhile, you're getting stared down by more cameras than they need to patrol most banks. You get your beer and pay for it and start to leave, but whoa, wait a minute... state law says (I swear I am not making this up) you can only take 12 bottles out at a time. So, you have to go back and forth however many times it takes to take out 12 at a time until you are done. It is things like this that are why you take a native-born and bred Pennsylvanian into New York, tell him how things work up THERE, and he acts like he just got a free pass to Disneyland! I know, I've seen it happen.
So, as you can tell, I'm not exactly in love with Pennsylvania, but it is the place I call home for the moment, and all in all it's not so bad. Most importantly, we don't get as much snow here as, oh I dunno, BUFFALO has. Then again, when we do get it, A) it all falls at once, 4-6 inches worth, and B) they don't bother to plow it until it lets up. Also, when you consider that it has snowed considerably less this year than last back home, I really start to wonder if Mother Nature really has something against me...
After meeting up with the ex-boss at his radio station (classic small-market look, reminded me of the olden days at Sunbury Broadcasting, up on top of a hill, right next to the towers, the offices and studios crammed together in one small building), we drop off the Passat at Best Buy, and it's off to see his new digs. Naturally, on the way I got to see where I messed up and got lost the first time (mental note: stick to the main roads, if it looks like an expressway, take it). Then, it's into a maze of housing developments, circling off from US 15 in a seemingly endless pattern. I am later informed that in just a few years, this whole huge tract of former farmland will be houses. The first thing I think is "wow, has this place been Cincinnatied (hee hee, got to use it again)", and the next is that I kinda feel sorry for the farmer who had to sell out. Suburban sprawl does often come with a price.
We pull up to the nicest freakin' house I have ever seen in my life. The guy lives in a PALACE!!! Well, not quite, but when you grow up in the "slums" of modern-day upstate New York suburbia, by comparison, it's a palace. They had to be the first owners of this place, couldn't be more than a year old. Folks, this is the American dream, just replace the white picket fence with a brownish, more natural wood tone (looks more modern, don't ya know).
Well, the story trails off from there, we eat lunch and I eventually get my car back (earlier than I thought) and go home. I'm not much of a "world traveler", so to speak, but seeing new things is always an exciting experience for me. I have joked sometimes that I go places just to say I've been there. Like, for example, a couple years back when I went to see my dad in Cincinnati, I went for a nice leisurely drive across the Ohio River into Kentucky, and proceeded to stop at a convenience store and buy a lottery ticket. Why? So I could say I had been to Kentucky. Then, that night, we drove out to Indiana to eat dinner. Why? So I could say I had been to Indiana. I could even get away with saying I've been to Illinois, although it was a layover at O'Hare both times, so that may not really count. Sitting here in Chambersburg, I am an hour's drive from anywhere in four states, which means there is a trip yet to be taken through four states in one afternoon. Why? So I could say I've done it. Yeah, I'm warped, I know...
Anyhoo, I said last time I had some more comparisons to make between Maryland, Pennsylvania, and New York, and nowhere else is there a better place to make such comparisons than the supermarket. Growing up in Syracuse, there was always a Byrne Dairy nearby that always had either 1% or 2% milk on special for $1.99, either that or Wegman's might have had a special on milk, dropping it to $1.59 or something like that. Imagine my surprise, then, the first time I walked into a supermarket down here and saw that the 1% milk was $2.70!!! And that was being billed as "sold at the state minimum"! There's your problem right there, the state sets milk prices; more government intervention causing problems for the average consumer. Whether or not this is to protect Pennsylvania's dairy farmers, I'm not sure, but for such a dramatic difference in price, I'm tempted to waste the extra gallon of gas to go to Maryland and see if it's any cheaper there.
The other main thing about Pennsylvania that will drive you nuts is the liquor laws. Yeah, Penn State and Susquehanna and other schools that specialize in the "we're in the middle of nowhere so all we can do is party" mentality are in this state, but the same is true with (insert SUNY school here) in New York. So, the Liquor Control Board runs the show here, and they tell you where you can get beer, how you can get it, and even how to remove it from the store. Let me sum up a typical B-double-E-double-R-U-N to a state-run liquor store. First of all, it better be before 8 or 9:00, because otherwise, it might be closed. They closed at 8 on NEW YEAR'S EVE, for heaven's sake!!! Don't they know most serious parties don't get underway before at least 10? And secondly, the state liquor store is the only place you can get said alcohol, not a convenience store, not a supermarket. So, you go in and order it from the counter (what is this, a doctor's office?) and they naturally check your ID, the only part of the process that actually makes some sense. Meanwhile, you're getting stared down by more cameras than they need to patrol most banks. You get your beer and pay for it and start to leave, but whoa, wait a minute... state law says (I swear I am not making this up) you can only take 12 bottles out at a time. So, you have to go back and forth however many times it takes to take out 12 at a time until you are done. It is things like this that are why you take a native-born and bred Pennsylvanian into New York, tell him how things work up THERE, and he acts like he just got a free pass to Disneyland! I know, I've seen it happen.
So, as you can tell, I'm not exactly in love with Pennsylvania, but it is the place I call home for the moment, and all in all it's not so bad. Most importantly, we don't get as much snow here as, oh I dunno, BUFFALO has. Then again, when we do get it, A) it all falls at once, 4-6 inches worth, and B) they don't bother to plow it until it lets up. Also, when you consider that it has snowed considerably less this year than last back home, I really start to wonder if Mother Nature really has something against me...
Labels: Maryland, Pennsylvania
posted by Dave | 11:46 PM
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