I Am Officially No Longer a Kid
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 2001 Christmas shopping season, where we the buying public shall do our best to be patriotic and prop up the sagging U.S. economy by running around like madmen throwing money at whatever will keep the light in your young child's eyes shining.
Do I seem bitter and perhaps a tad bit cynical? Well, it would be for a couple of reasons. First of all, there's the fact that the 2001 Christmas shopping season has of course been well underway for weeks now, due to the fact that the holiday has become so overcommercialized, people feel the need to push Christmas all the way back almost to Halloween. Mall parking lots are already full, Santa's been on his chair for weeks, cresche scenes and Christmas parades have already made their appearance, and radio stations across the country have already switched format to the All-Christmas music format. Did I mention that this is already the year when we are lucky enough to have the largest span of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Not that it matters, because if Black Friday had been on the 29th rather than the 23rd, we still would be weeks deep into this madness.
It is sheer overload, folks, I'm sorry. I cannot deal with 6-7 weeks straight of Santa decorations and 56 different versions of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" or "Jingle Bells" playing over muzak systems. And when I finally snap over it, people will call me a Grinch and say I have no Christmas spirit. Yes, I do have Christmas spirit, but like everything else in this world, it is not in infinite supply, maybe only 3-4 weeks worth, which fits nicely between Black Friday and the day just before Christmas when I've finally gotten the last couple of presents (that day hopefully not being Christmas Eve). Force me to use it in November, and it's gone by, well, now. And as for the All-Christmas music stations, let me use my vast experience and knowledge in radio to say, without question, that this is the DUMBEST IDEA IN HISTORY! Even worse than the all-80s format that plays only the 50 most recognizable (and often most annoying) songs from that decade. Every Arbitron-rated market is in a ratings period right now; it last through the middle of next month. The sooner a station flips to "Jingle Bell Rock" 24-7, the sooner its regular listeners start changing the station because one can only take so much. Therefore, you're looking at a bunch of stations whose all-important Fall numbers will suffer because they lost all their listeners the last month of the book since they went All-Christmas.
My other reason for all this holiday season cynicism is the fact that I have absolutely no interest in the major recent developments that set the tone for this year's shopping season. Those being the "Harry Potter" movie and the glut of new video game consoles. I have no problem with the "Harry Potter" books. I say anything that gets kids to read is a great thing; heck, my mom even reads "Harry Potter". All the Christian groups who think that kids are somehow subconsciously getting pulled into a life of "evil witchcraft" need to get a life. You people are just as whacked out as the Taliban, and just as extreme. What would you rather have your kids doing, reading "Harry Potter" or playing a shoot-em-up game with the-blood-and-guts-look-so-real graphics on their brand new X-Cube or GameStation2 or whatever the hell they're called. As for the movie, it's already smashed the records for opening weekend sales. Incidentally, the record was formerly held by "Star Wars Episode 1", which probably infuriated Star Wars fans so much that they're already staking out places to camp out in advance of next May 16 when "Episode 2" opens.
From the commercials I've seen for the movie, it looks pretty interesting. However, I have seen nothing but bad review after bad review from movie critics, which is unfortunate. In fact, I really don't think critics should be reviewing this movie. It's for kids, after all; with all the movie reviews coming from the point of view of the grizzled adult critic, looking for stuff like plot development and cinematography and whatnot, they're kinda out of touch with why the kids are going to see this movie. They're at the movie to see their hero from the books, watch him instead of envisioning him in their minds. Besides, it's not like parents are going to look at those reviews and then decide not to take their kids to this film; the decision to go to this movie has already been made by their kids, and bad reviews mean nothing to a kid whose heart is set on seeing this movie.
And speaking of things that kids feel they must have, back to the GameCube, X-Box, and PS2 (yes, I actually know the real names, I was just joking around earlier). Basically, it seems to me like it's three versions of the same game system, except that one is the well-known Sony PlayStation brand, one is made by Nintendo (the GameCube), and the other (X-Box) is made by, of all people, Microsoft. It was this time last year that I joked about this forthcoming Microsoft product, saying that like most Microsoft products, it would be a game system that crashed every five minutes. That just might be the only distinguishing characteristic about it, because I can't tell the difference between any of them. Certainly not the price tag ($300?!?) The PS2, of course, is the "grizzled veteran" of the set, having been out for a year now and easily beating its first big competitor, the Sega Saturn. The fact that it also plays DVDs puts it ahead of the crowd, and it also plays PSOne games, so the transition is easy. However, that hasn't stopped the mad mobs from flooding stores going after the X-Box or GameCube on their respective opening days. Taking a lesson from the PS2 rollout last year, Nintendo and Microsoft appear to have intentionally put out small numbers of the systems per week to keep demand through the roof until well after the holidays. Very shrewd and borderline callous strategy, but maybe it's just because they like watching parents beat the crap out of each other to get their hands on these things.
And they did today, I'm sure. I didn't even need to turn on the news today to know that it happened. Kay-Bee Toys opened at 5:00 this morning at the Chambersburg Mall. 5AM!!! And yet, you know damn well that there were parents massed around the entrance at 4:59, waiting for the doors to open so they could push and shove and knock each other out of the way for the first big deal on an X-Box or GameCube or PS2. Mall rage, if you will.
I, like the more sane of this country, prefer to stay out of the madness that is Black Friday, and I have no interest in any of the aforementioned game consoles. I thought I had no interest in the PSOne until I decided to get one a couple years back, but I think it's pretty much over for me and game machines. I shell out the C-note or two for the thing, and then all I get is a "Final Fantasy" game or sports game and as soon as I master it (don't necessarily beat it, just master it), I get bored with it and leave it there to collect dust. I swear I have not touched my PSOne since I moved here three-plus months ago. It might just be that at the age of 23, I have finally left my childhood behind. Then again, considering the number of adults who enjoy these things just as much as kids do, maybe I'm just treating it as one more item in the Best Buy ad that I want but cannot afford. That's the way it goes, you know; when you're a kid, you thumb through the Toys 'R Us catalog and dream of playing with the toys in there, and once you become an adult, it's the Best Buy or Circuit City ad that you look through every week, dreaming again of "toys". Somebody stop me before I start up a Christmas list that'll make my mom's eyes bug out....
Do I seem bitter and perhaps a tad bit cynical? Well, it would be for a couple of reasons. First of all, there's the fact that the 2001 Christmas shopping season has of course been well underway for weeks now, due to the fact that the holiday has become so overcommercialized, people feel the need to push Christmas all the way back almost to Halloween. Mall parking lots are already full, Santa's been on his chair for weeks, cresche scenes and Christmas parades have already made their appearance, and radio stations across the country have already switched format to the All-Christmas music format. Did I mention that this is already the year when we are lucky enough to have the largest span of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Not that it matters, because if Black Friday had been on the 29th rather than the 23rd, we still would be weeks deep into this madness.
It is sheer overload, folks, I'm sorry. I cannot deal with 6-7 weeks straight of Santa decorations and 56 different versions of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" or "Jingle Bells" playing over muzak systems. And when I finally snap over it, people will call me a Grinch and say I have no Christmas spirit. Yes, I do have Christmas spirit, but like everything else in this world, it is not in infinite supply, maybe only 3-4 weeks worth, which fits nicely between Black Friday and the day just before Christmas when I've finally gotten the last couple of presents (that day hopefully not being Christmas Eve). Force me to use it in November, and it's gone by, well, now. And as for the All-Christmas music stations, let me use my vast experience and knowledge in radio to say, without question, that this is the DUMBEST IDEA IN HISTORY! Even worse than the all-80s format that plays only the 50 most recognizable (and often most annoying) songs from that decade. Every Arbitron-rated market is in a ratings period right now; it last through the middle of next month. The sooner a station flips to "Jingle Bell Rock" 24-7, the sooner its regular listeners start changing the station because one can only take so much. Therefore, you're looking at a bunch of stations whose all-important Fall numbers will suffer because they lost all their listeners the last month of the book since they went All-Christmas.
My other reason for all this holiday season cynicism is the fact that I have absolutely no interest in the major recent developments that set the tone for this year's shopping season. Those being the "Harry Potter" movie and the glut of new video game consoles. I have no problem with the "Harry Potter" books. I say anything that gets kids to read is a great thing; heck, my mom even reads "Harry Potter". All the Christian groups who think that kids are somehow subconsciously getting pulled into a life of "evil witchcraft" need to get a life. You people are just as whacked out as the Taliban, and just as extreme. What would you rather have your kids doing, reading "Harry Potter" or playing a shoot-em-up game with the-blood-and-guts-look-so-real graphics on their brand new X-Cube or GameStation2 or whatever the hell they're called. As for the movie, it's already smashed the records for opening weekend sales. Incidentally, the record was formerly held by "Star Wars Episode 1", which probably infuriated Star Wars fans so much that they're already staking out places to camp out in advance of next May 16 when "Episode 2" opens.
From the commercials I've seen for the movie, it looks pretty interesting. However, I have seen nothing but bad review after bad review from movie critics, which is unfortunate. In fact, I really don't think critics should be reviewing this movie. It's for kids, after all; with all the movie reviews coming from the point of view of the grizzled adult critic, looking for stuff like plot development and cinematography and whatnot, they're kinda out of touch with why the kids are going to see this movie. They're at the movie to see their hero from the books, watch him instead of envisioning him in their minds. Besides, it's not like parents are going to look at those reviews and then decide not to take their kids to this film; the decision to go to this movie has already been made by their kids, and bad reviews mean nothing to a kid whose heart is set on seeing this movie.
And speaking of things that kids feel they must have, back to the GameCube, X-Box, and PS2 (yes, I actually know the real names, I was just joking around earlier). Basically, it seems to me like it's three versions of the same game system, except that one is the well-known Sony PlayStation brand, one is made by Nintendo (the GameCube), and the other (X-Box) is made by, of all people, Microsoft. It was this time last year that I joked about this forthcoming Microsoft product, saying that like most Microsoft products, it would be a game system that crashed every five minutes. That just might be the only distinguishing characteristic about it, because I can't tell the difference between any of them. Certainly not the price tag ($300?!?) The PS2, of course, is the "grizzled veteran" of the set, having been out for a year now and easily beating its first big competitor, the Sega Saturn. The fact that it also plays DVDs puts it ahead of the crowd, and it also plays PSOne games, so the transition is easy. However, that hasn't stopped the mad mobs from flooding stores going after the X-Box or GameCube on their respective opening days. Taking a lesson from the PS2 rollout last year, Nintendo and Microsoft appear to have intentionally put out small numbers of the systems per week to keep demand through the roof until well after the holidays. Very shrewd and borderline callous strategy, but maybe it's just because they like watching parents beat the crap out of each other to get their hands on these things.
And they did today, I'm sure. I didn't even need to turn on the news today to know that it happened. Kay-Bee Toys opened at 5:00 this morning at the Chambersburg Mall. 5AM!!! And yet, you know damn well that there were parents massed around the entrance at 4:59, waiting for the doors to open so they could push and shove and knock each other out of the way for the first big deal on an X-Box or GameCube or PS2. Mall rage, if you will.
I, like the more sane of this country, prefer to stay out of the madness that is Black Friday, and I have no interest in any of the aforementioned game consoles. I thought I had no interest in the PSOne until I decided to get one a couple years back, but I think it's pretty much over for me and game machines. I shell out the C-note or two for the thing, and then all I get is a "Final Fantasy" game or sports game and as soon as I master it (don't necessarily beat it, just master it), I get bored with it and leave it there to collect dust. I swear I have not touched my PSOne since I moved here three-plus months ago. It might just be that at the age of 23, I have finally left my childhood behind. Then again, considering the number of adults who enjoy these things just as much as kids do, maybe I'm just treating it as one more item in the Best Buy ad that I want but cannot afford. That's the way it goes, you know; when you're a kid, you thumb through the Toys 'R Us catalog and dream of playing with the toys in there, and once you become an adult, it's the Best Buy or Circuit City ad that you look through every week, dreaming again of "toys". Somebody stop me before I start up a Christmas list that'll make my mom's eyes bug out....
Labels: Christmas
posted by Dave | 11:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home