V-Day
Everybody do me a favor and stay away from me Wednesday. Please do not ask me why I'm wearing black and why I refuse to call the day by its full name. I just do not want to be bothered, the day will be tough enough as it is. Thank you.
OK, you REALLY want an explanation. (Sigh) Fine.
Wednesday, as you may know, is the 14th of February. The Feast of St. Valentine. Valentine's Day. Or, as I simply call it, V-Day. I mean why call it by its full name if it is a holiday you refuse to observe anyway? It's always been a lousy excuse to sell greeting cards and flowers and chocolate and all that stuff. I mean if you have to be reminded for one super-special day out of the year, beaten over the head by endless TV commercials about how "a diamond is forever" and all that junk, that you have to do something special for your significant other to prove your feelings for him/her, then you probably shouldn't be in the relationship in the first place. It should be an everyday thing, not just reserved for one day a year, especially as commercialized a day as it is.
All right, you're probably at this point thinking I'm laying on the bitterman routine a little thick. However, I feel I have the right, no, more than the right every year at this time to spout off about the pointlessness of this "holiday". After all, it is perfectly reasonable to think that there are those out there in this world who at this time most years (and in my case, at this time EVERY year) who have no reason to celebrate this day. We are the unlucky, the unfortunate, yes, you may even call us the pathetic (although not to our faces, thank you), the ones who have nobody to share this day with. Some add to our population every year, some are removed from it by fate or whatever higher power you choose to believe in. This holiday reminds us that we were the ones who in elementary school worked just as hard as you all did on your little homemade mailboxes that you stuck on the front of your desks, and when the big moment came, very few people stopped over to drop a valentine in our boxes. Those that did were probably given more than enough for the whole class and were made to feel sorry for us.
Now I'll admit, maybe today some friends will consider me important enough to toss an envelope my way, and for that I appreciate them very much. This isn't about the little slip of paper that they sell at Hallmark for $5 per box of 100 or whatever. This is still about finding someone. Even the mere thought of it bugs the hell out of me. Not that we the romantically challenged haven't tried, mind you. We're just not all that hot in the success department. This is the day where legend and Cosmo has it that we are supposed to do the right things, say the right things, sweep him/her off his/her feet and forge that match made in heaven. I counter that by simply saying the following: We can't seem to be able to do that the OTHER 364 days each year, what the hell makes you think we'll magically be able to figure it all out on this particular day?
Let's face it, and I'm directly addressing all of you out there who have that special someone in your life, who are all set for V-Day, who have that loving relationship all squared away: You would rather not be reminded on this day that we exist. You would rather not have to recognize the looks of depression and frustration on the faces of those of us whose hopes cannot seem to avoid being dashed when it comes to affairs of the heart. We are non-persons on this day, and we'd rather not be reminded that our situation exists either. By wearing black, we'll be happy being cynical about the day and you can go on in the bright and shiny world of your happy-go-lucky life with the one you love, and starting tomorrow when all is back to normal and you realize that you don't have to make such a special effort again until the inevitable anniversary or birthday or even Christmas, we all condense back into our everyday society and go on with life.
That is the intent anyway, but you know that by wearing black, I am also sticking out like a sore thumb. I mean, honestly, don't you think any normal person is going to wonder at least a little bit why we're wearing black? Then, of course, we run the risk of bringing them down, cuz there are those who are so sympathetic to our cause that they almost start to feel guilty that they have someone and we don't. And that, folks, is downright nauseating. Enjoy your good fortune, please do not feel sorry for us, doing that only reminds us that yes, it's still February 14 and will continue to be until the day ends.
And so, that is why I ask that I not be bothered at all on Wednesday. Just go about your business; we'll all be much better off for it, trust me on that one.
Of course, if you're the one who has been nervously waiting for the chance to try to say or do the right things with us and sweep us off our feet, none of the above applies and by all means, feel free to give it a shot. After all, given the choice between continuing this yearly ritual and staying in the population known as the unlucky, unfortunate, pathetic, etc. or dropping that population by two, believe me, we want out!
OK, you REALLY want an explanation. (Sigh) Fine.
Wednesday, as you may know, is the 14th of February. The Feast of St. Valentine. Valentine's Day. Or, as I simply call it, V-Day. I mean why call it by its full name if it is a holiday you refuse to observe anyway? It's always been a lousy excuse to sell greeting cards and flowers and chocolate and all that stuff. I mean if you have to be reminded for one super-special day out of the year, beaten over the head by endless TV commercials about how "a diamond is forever" and all that junk, that you have to do something special for your significant other to prove your feelings for him/her, then you probably shouldn't be in the relationship in the first place. It should be an everyday thing, not just reserved for one day a year, especially as commercialized a day as it is.
All right, you're probably at this point thinking I'm laying on the bitterman routine a little thick. However, I feel I have the right, no, more than the right every year at this time to spout off about the pointlessness of this "holiday". After all, it is perfectly reasonable to think that there are those out there in this world who at this time most years (and in my case, at this time EVERY year) who have no reason to celebrate this day. We are the unlucky, the unfortunate, yes, you may even call us the pathetic (although not to our faces, thank you), the ones who have nobody to share this day with. Some add to our population every year, some are removed from it by fate or whatever higher power you choose to believe in. This holiday reminds us that we were the ones who in elementary school worked just as hard as you all did on your little homemade mailboxes that you stuck on the front of your desks, and when the big moment came, very few people stopped over to drop a valentine in our boxes. Those that did were probably given more than enough for the whole class and were made to feel sorry for us.
Now I'll admit, maybe today some friends will consider me important enough to toss an envelope my way, and for that I appreciate them very much. This isn't about the little slip of paper that they sell at Hallmark for $5 per box of 100 or whatever. This is still about finding someone. Even the mere thought of it bugs the hell out of me. Not that we the romantically challenged haven't tried, mind you. We're just not all that hot in the success department. This is the day where legend and Cosmo has it that we are supposed to do the right things, say the right things, sweep him/her off his/her feet and forge that match made in heaven. I counter that by simply saying the following: We can't seem to be able to do that the OTHER 364 days each year, what the hell makes you think we'll magically be able to figure it all out on this particular day?
Let's face it, and I'm directly addressing all of you out there who have that special someone in your life, who are all set for V-Day, who have that loving relationship all squared away: You would rather not be reminded on this day that we exist. You would rather not have to recognize the looks of depression and frustration on the faces of those of us whose hopes cannot seem to avoid being dashed when it comes to affairs of the heart. We are non-persons on this day, and we'd rather not be reminded that our situation exists either. By wearing black, we'll be happy being cynical about the day and you can go on in the bright and shiny world of your happy-go-lucky life with the one you love, and starting tomorrow when all is back to normal and you realize that you don't have to make such a special effort again until the inevitable anniversary or birthday or even Christmas, we all condense back into our everyday society and go on with life.
That is the intent anyway, but you know that by wearing black, I am also sticking out like a sore thumb. I mean, honestly, don't you think any normal person is going to wonder at least a little bit why we're wearing black? Then, of course, we run the risk of bringing them down, cuz there are those who are so sympathetic to our cause that they almost start to feel guilty that they have someone and we don't. And that, folks, is downright nauseating. Enjoy your good fortune, please do not feel sorry for us, doing that only reminds us that yes, it's still February 14 and will continue to be until the day ends.
And so, that is why I ask that I not be bothered at all on Wednesday. Just go about your business; we'll all be much better off for it, trust me on that one.
Of course, if you're the one who has been nervously waiting for the chance to try to say or do the right things with us and sweep us off our feet, none of the above applies and by all means, feel free to give it a shot. After all, given the choice between continuing this yearly ritual and staying in the population known as the unlucky, unfortunate, pathetic, etc. or dropping that population by two, believe me, we want out!
Labels: Valentine's Day
posted by Dave | 4:04 PM
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