Almost as Fun as Picking the Super Bowl

Alright everyone, get out your Grammy scorecards, time to pick the winners and losers for tomorrow night. Now if you're not familiar with the way I do this, I'll list the nominees for the major awards (or just the ones I care about), and I'll tell you who should win and who will win. Why do I do this? Well, let's face it, we know the Grammys aren't always dependable for giving the awards to the most deserving people. They're good for at least one WTF moment a year, and some of them are more stunning than others... Herbie Hancock? Really? Still scratching my head over that one from a couple years back. Anyway, here goes...

Best Alternative Album: Arcade Fire, "The Suburbs"; Band of Horses, "Infinite Arms"; The Black Keys, "Brothers"; Broken Bells, "Broken Bells"; Vampire Weekend, "Contra"
Who Should Win: That's a tough one, because Arcade Fire and Black Keys are both excellent albums, but I'm going to lean toward The Black Keys.
Who Will Win: Vampire Weekend. I feel like when Grammy sees "Alternative", they go as far out there as they can and ignore the rock end of the genre.

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance: Paul McCartney, "Helter Skelter"; John Mayer, "Crossroads"; Robert Plant, "Silver Rider"; Eric Clapton, "Run Back to Your Side"; Neil Young, "Angry World"... geez it seems like (with the exception of Mayer) a nice excuse to give an old-timer another Grammy.
Who Should Win: Honestly I don't know any of the songs except McCartney's, and it's a live version, so should that really count? I'll go with Robert Plant. Grammy likes Robert Plant.
Who Will Win: Robert Plant. Grammy likes Robert Plant.

Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group: Arcade Fire, "Ready to Start"; Jeff Beck & Joss Stone, "I Put a Spell on You"; The Black Keys, "Tighten Up"; Kings of Leon, "Radioactive"; Muse, "Resistance"
Who Should Win: Again, Arcade Fire or Black Keys, such a tough choice, but again I go with The Black Keys.
Who Will Win: I think in this case, they get it right. The Black Keys.

Best Hard Rock Performance: Alice In Chains, "A Looking in View"; Ozzy Osbourne, "Let Me Hear You Scream"; Soundgarden, "Black Rain"; Stone Temple Pilots, "Between the Lines"; Them Crooked Vultures, "New Fang"
Who Should Win: Well, Ozzy and Soundgarden are charity noms, those songs aren't that good, and I'm not familiar with the AIC song... if they nominated "Your Decision", I'd pick that one as the winner. So, instead I go with Them Crooked Vultures.
Who Will Win: Grammy likes ex-Led Zeppelin members. Them Crooked Vultures.

Best Rock Song: Neil Young, "Angry World"; Mumford & Sons, "Little Lion Man"; Kings of Leon, "Radioactive"; Muse, "Resistance"; The Black Keys, "Tighten Up"
Who Should Win: Tough choice again, between Mumford & Sons and Black Keys. I think both are such good songs, and I know who will win, so I'm willing to admit I'll be wrong here and express my preference for Mumford & Sons.
Who Will Win: The Black Keys... and they probably deserve it.

Best Rock Album: Jeff Beck, "Emotion & Commotion"; Muse, "The Resistance"; Pearl Jam, "Backspacer"; Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, "Mojo"; Neil Young, "Le Noise"
Who Should Win: "Backspacer" is a good album, but not award-winning. Ditto for Petty. So I vote Muse. As annoying as I find a lot of the songs on this album, that comes from constant radio overplaying. Muse should win.
Who Will Win: Jeff Beck. This seems like the tailor-made WTF moment.

Best New Artist (a.k.a. "The Kiss of Death"): Justin Bieber (yes, seriously, he was nominated); Drake; Florence & the Machine; Mumford & Sons; Esperanza Spalding (uh, who?)
Who Should Win: Another tough choice, because I appreciate Drake's talent but the heart says Mumford & Sons... although if I really wanted to wish "Kiss of Death" status on someone, I'd root for Bieber to win... but that would just be silly. If Bieber wins a Grammy, well first the Internet will explode, and second people will take the Grammys even less seriously than they did after Herbie Hancock. That's why they have the American Music Awards and the MTV Awards. Enough blather... the winner should be Mumford & Sons.
Who Will Win: Drake. And again, I'd be cool with that.

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance: Sara Bareilles, "King of Anything"; Beyonce, "Halo" (Live); Norah Jones, "Chasing Pirates"; Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"; Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"
Who Should Win: Norah already had her clean sweep year, live versions should not count, and it's not Bareilles' best work. I mean could they have made it a clearer path for Gaga to win? Lady Gaga, easily.
Who Will Win: Lady Gaga, easily.

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance: Michael Buble, "Haven't Met You Yet"; Michael Jackson, "This Is It"; Adam Lambert, "Whadaya Want From Me"; Bruno Mars, "Just the Way You Are"; John Mayer, "Half of My Heart"
Who Should Win: People do love that Bruno Mars song, the lyrics work for a lot of people... hard to pick against this one...
Who Will Win: ...but Grammy will, because people also love that Michael Buble song, and it's more "traditional", so the older Grammy voters will lean this way.

Best Pop Performance By Duo or Group: The Friggin' Cast of Glee... Seriously, "Don't Stop Believin"; Maroon 5, "Misery"; Paramore, "The Only Exception"; Sade, "Babyfather"; Train, "Hey Soul Sister" (Live)
Who Should Win: Uh... isn't Sade one person? And as I said before, live versions should not count... nor do karaoke versions. So it's between Maroon 5 and Paramore. Maroon 5 wins.
Who Will Win: Maroon 5. If "Glee" wins, I'm done predicting these things.

Best Pop Vocal Album: Justin Bieber, "My World 2.0"; Susan Boyle, "I Dreamed a Dream"; Lady Gaga, "The Fame Monster"; John Mayer, "Battle Studies"; Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"
Who Should Win: First of all, Bieber actually got TWO nominations? Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little. So once again, this isn't even fair. Lady Gaga wins.
Who Will Win: Lady Gaga.

Song of the Year: Ray LaMontaigne, "Beg, Steal, or Borrow"; Cee-Lo Green, "F--k You"; Miranda Lambert, "The House That Built Me"; Eminem & Rihanna, "Love the Way You Lie"; Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now"
Who Should Win: Well, first of all, Lady Antebellum did not credit Alan Parsons, so they're eliminated. I don't even know who the first artist is (which means he'll probably win). I'd love to go with Eminem, but there's no way I don't pick "F--k You".
Who Will Win: Yeah, like Grammy's really gonna pick a song that's peppered with the F-bomb. Eminem wins.

Album of the Year: Arcade Fire, "The Suburbs"; Lady Gaga, "The Fame Monster"; Eminem, "Recovery"; Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now"; Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"
Who Should Win: Hey, actual competition for Gaga. Arcade Fire may be just as deserving, but by the time we get to this point in the show, we'll see the wave of victories for Gaga cresting and therefore it's inevitable that she gets this one too. Geez, does Arcade Fire get even one Grammy for this album? They really should... but not this one. Gaga wins.
Who Will Win: Lady Gaga.

Record of the Year: B.O.B. & Bruno Mars, "Nothin' on You"; Eminem & Rihanna, "Love the Way You Lie"; Cee-Lo Green, "F--k You"; Jay-Z & Alicia Keys, "Empire State of Mind"; Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now"
Who Should Win: We got to the final award, and NOW you throw "Empire" into the mix? Geez. Gotta go with that one. Jay-Z and Alicia should take this one. If Gaga had been nominated, she'd complete a clean sweep.
Who Will Win: I never get this one right, so I'll say Eminem will win. No potential for a WTF moment this year... and don't even tell me Lady Antebellum will win this or any of the major awards, because if they do, Alan Parsons will sue THE NEXT DAY, if he hasn't already.

Enjoy!