What to Do When Everyone Wants You to Lose
I am a Jets fan. I didn't realize this was going to make me or my team the subject of ridicule. I mean I'm used to that with my Mets, but that's because I live in Philadelphia and they have caused so much misery over the last 4 years that it's only natural to equate team and said misery. But the Jets? New York's 2nd favorite football team, that hasn't even sniffed a Super Bowl since 1969? Never thought this would happen.
But here we are, the Jets are about to play the New England Patriots in the playoffs, and by mere virtue of the matchup, it would appear that everyone outside of the metro New York City area is fully invested in rooting for, hoping for, and praying for the Jets to lose. Badly. Why? Because they trash talk. The coach likes to talk, the players like to talk. And nobody talks like the New York media, so now it really does feel like it's us against the world. Of course, the New York Post doesn't help much when their back page looks like the poster for friggin' "Return of the Jedi", complete with Belichick and co. in the role of the Evil Empire. This doesn't play well in the part of America that invented the use of "Evil Empire" to describe a sports franchise... one that happened to reside in NEW YORK.
The Jets didn't do themselves any favors by drawing the 6 seed in the AFC playoffs, meaning that a win over the Colts would send them to New England for the divisional round. I think the reseeding after the first round is silly anyway; if you're the top seed and you have home field advantage throughout the playoffs, that's enough of a reward, play the winner of the 4-5 game like you'd have to do in any other sport. Suffice to say, I REALLY did not want to face the Patriots, because all of New England is still laughing heartily over the Pats' 45-3 demolition of the Jets a few weeks ago. They are laughing heartily about Sal Alosi and his fine and suspension for tripping a Miami Dolphins special teams player... never mind that we found not long afterward that other teams just plain throw players into the bench if they run 10 yards out of bounds on kick coverage. It's the Jets, so throw the book at them and then laugh your ass off. They are definitely laughing about Rex Ryan's wife and the foot fetish videos. Some have talked about taking foam feet to the game on Sunday instead of the famous "we're number 1" foam fingers.
And why? Because Rex Ryan said he wouldn't kiss Bill Belichick's rings? Because he said the Jets were the best team in the playoffs, and that it was personal between him and Peyton Manning last week, and also between him and Belichick? Sorry, I know it's better if your coach is completely emotionless like Belichick is. Give me a break. I like Ryan, he makes things interesting. I don't want a dullard in a bad-fitting sweatshirt on my sideline, I want a guy whose appearance and demeanor actually says "fired up leader". And yeah, HBO's "Hard Knocks" created a certain image of the Jets, but that image was already there, and I liked what I saw of the series. But Jeebus, nobody was actively rooting for the Cincinnati Bengals to lose every game the year they did "Hard Knocks"... although we did all laugh about the fact that the Bengals seemed to put more players in jail that season than games in the win column.
So the Patriots and their coach just come off as bunch of glum automatons, led by Mr. I Married a Supermodel, Tom Brady. I mean this isn't the first go-around between these two franchises. Bill Parcells jumped from the Patriots to the Jets after he took the Pats to the Super Bowl in 1997. Belichick replaced Parcells as Jets head coach for all of one day, then he turned tail and ran to Foxborough. And of course, there was "SpyGate" a few years ago, when Belichick was found to have secretly taped Jets practices because of his grudge against former assistant-turned-Jets head coach Eric Mangini. Antonio Cromartie of the Jets launched his own verbal salvos the other day, saying "F--- Brady" and calling him an "a--hole." Hey, he wasn't saying anything Jets fans already feel.
Then again, it's not too difficult to make fun of Tom Brady. I mean his wife won't let him cut his hair, hence his opting for the "Justin Bieber" look at the beginning of the season. Of course now it's gotten so long it looks more like Jennifer Aniston's famous "Rachel" haircut. And the media fawn all over him like they do over Duke basketball, Notre Dame football, the New York Yankees, and Kobe Bryant's Lakers. And of course, the ladies swoon over him. God forbid Tim Tebow wins a Super Bowl, Brady may wonder where all of his adoration went when that happens. Yeah, the Jets haven't won anything in a long time, well we've had 40 years to get used to it... how are Patriots fans dealing with not having won a Super Bowl with their golden boy QB and master tactician of a coach since 2004? Apparently they're dealing with it by kicking us around.
So the Jets get ridiculed by all Patriots fans, they are hated by every woman who crushes on Tom Brady, really it seems to be a nationwide obsession by football fans here... I did not sign up for this when I became a Jets fan. I mean don't you actually have to win something every once in a while to deserve this type of hate? Usually such a dislike of a sports franchise is reserved for teams like... well, the Patriots. And yes, we do remember the shellacking we took, as if we really forgot like Pats fans think we have by the volume level coming from New York this week. I would say the confidence from the Jets players and coach right now more than makes up for the fact that I don't know any Jets fan who thinks we are going to win on Sunday. Seriously. I really fear getting taken behind the Woodhead... I mean wood shed again. Because then we'll NEVER hear the end of it, even if the Pats get knocked out by the Ravens in the AFC title game or taken down again in the Super Bowl.
Now I'm not gonna go as far as Baltimore Ravens LB Terrell Suggs did and claim that the Patriots' rings are tainted. People still complain about that "tuck rule" game as much as Democrats still complain about Bush v. Gore. They won 3 rings in 4 years... and that was several years ago. Apparently, the shelf life on disliking the Pats has ended and it's more fashionable to kick a franchise when it's down. That's fine; as I said, I'm used to it. At the beginning of the season, I compared this year's Jets to the 1986 Mets for their swagger, but late in the season I saw it playing out like a different Mets team... the 2007 edition. And when we lost to Miami the week after the New England debacle to fall to 9-4, all of a sudden you had the national media declaring that the Jets would completely implode, miss the playoffs, and that Rex Ryan might even lose his job. Seriously... whose Corn Flakes did we crap in to deserve this?
So what to do Sunday? Well, I'll watch the game, through the cracks between my fingers in the classic "I can't look... oh, maybe..." pose. I mean this is seriously what it's come down to... the reward for Rex and co. making Jets football watchable again and being in the playoffs every year is fearing complete annihilation and nationwide ridicule. It's enough to make me want to go back to being a Bills fan... no, wait. Nothing could make me do that.
Now let's go eat a god damn snack.
But here we are, the Jets are about to play the New England Patriots in the playoffs, and by mere virtue of the matchup, it would appear that everyone outside of the metro New York City area is fully invested in rooting for, hoping for, and praying for the Jets to lose. Badly. Why? Because they trash talk. The coach likes to talk, the players like to talk. And nobody talks like the New York media, so now it really does feel like it's us against the world. Of course, the New York Post doesn't help much when their back page looks like the poster for friggin' "Return of the Jedi", complete with Belichick and co. in the role of the Evil Empire. This doesn't play well in the part of America that invented the use of "Evil Empire" to describe a sports franchise... one that happened to reside in NEW YORK.
The Jets didn't do themselves any favors by drawing the 6 seed in the AFC playoffs, meaning that a win over the Colts would send them to New England for the divisional round. I think the reseeding after the first round is silly anyway; if you're the top seed and you have home field advantage throughout the playoffs, that's enough of a reward, play the winner of the 4-5 game like you'd have to do in any other sport. Suffice to say, I REALLY did not want to face the Patriots, because all of New England is still laughing heartily over the Pats' 45-3 demolition of the Jets a few weeks ago. They are laughing heartily about Sal Alosi and his fine and suspension for tripping a Miami Dolphins special teams player... never mind that we found not long afterward that other teams just plain throw players into the bench if they run 10 yards out of bounds on kick coverage. It's the Jets, so throw the book at them and then laugh your ass off. They are definitely laughing about Rex Ryan's wife and the foot fetish videos. Some have talked about taking foam feet to the game on Sunday instead of the famous "we're number 1" foam fingers.
And why? Because Rex Ryan said he wouldn't kiss Bill Belichick's rings? Because he said the Jets were the best team in the playoffs, and that it was personal between him and Peyton Manning last week, and also between him and Belichick? Sorry, I know it's better if your coach is completely emotionless like Belichick is. Give me a break. I like Ryan, he makes things interesting. I don't want a dullard in a bad-fitting sweatshirt on my sideline, I want a guy whose appearance and demeanor actually says "fired up leader". And yeah, HBO's "Hard Knocks" created a certain image of the Jets, but that image was already there, and I liked what I saw of the series. But Jeebus, nobody was actively rooting for the Cincinnati Bengals to lose every game the year they did "Hard Knocks"... although we did all laugh about the fact that the Bengals seemed to put more players in jail that season than games in the win column.
So the Patriots and their coach just come off as bunch of glum automatons, led by Mr. I Married a Supermodel, Tom Brady. I mean this isn't the first go-around between these two franchises. Bill Parcells jumped from the Patriots to the Jets after he took the Pats to the Super Bowl in 1997. Belichick replaced Parcells as Jets head coach for all of one day, then he turned tail and ran to Foxborough. And of course, there was "SpyGate" a few years ago, when Belichick was found to have secretly taped Jets practices because of his grudge against former assistant-turned-Jets head coach Eric Mangini. Antonio Cromartie of the Jets launched his own verbal salvos the other day, saying "F--- Brady" and calling him an "a--hole." Hey, he wasn't saying anything Jets fans already feel.
Then again, it's not too difficult to make fun of Tom Brady. I mean his wife won't let him cut his hair, hence his opting for the "Justin Bieber" look at the beginning of the season. Of course now it's gotten so long it looks more like Jennifer Aniston's famous "Rachel" haircut. And the media fawn all over him like they do over Duke basketball, Notre Dame football, the New York Yankees, and Kobe Bryant's Lakers. And of course, the ladies swoon over him. God forbid Tim Tebow wins a Super Bowl, Brady may wonder where all of his adoration went when that happens. Yeah, the Jets haven't won anything in a long time, well we've had 40 years to get used to it... how are Patriots fans dealing with not having won a Super Bowl with their golden boy QB and master tactician of a coach since 2004? Apparently they're dealing with it by kicking us around.
So the Jets get ridiculed by all Patriots fans, they are hated by every woman who crushes on Tom Brady, really it seems to be a nationwide obsession by football fans here... I did not sign up for this when I became a Jets fan. I mean don't you actually have to win something every once in a while to deserve this type of hate? Usually such a dislike of a sports franchise is reserved for teams like... well, the Patriots. And yes, we do remember the shellacking we took, as if we really forgot like Pats fans think we have by the volume level coming from New York this week. I would say the confidence from the Jets players and coach right now more than makes up for the fact that I don't know any Jets fan who thinks we are going to win on Sunday. Seriously. I really fear getting taken behind the Woodhead... I mean wood shed again. Because then we'll NEVER hear the end of it, even if the Pats get knocked out by the Ravens in the AFC title game or taken down again in the Super Bowl.
Now I'm not gonna go as far as Baltimore Ravens LB Terrell Suggs did and claim that the Patriots' rings are tainted. People still complain about that "tuck rule" game as much as Democrats still complain about Bush v. Gore. They won 3 rings in 4 years... and that was several years ago. Apparently, the shelf life on disliking the Pats has ended and it's more fashionable to kick a franchise when it's down. That's fine; as I said, I'm used to it. At the beginning of the season, I compared this year's Jets to the 1986 Mets for their swagger, but late in the season I saw it playing out like a different Mets team... the 2007 edition. And when we lost to Miami the week after the New England debacle to fall to 9-4, all of a sudden you had the national media declaring that the Jets would completely implode, miss the playoffs, and that Rex Ryan might even lose his job. Seriously... whose Corn Flakes did we crap in to deserve this?
So what to do Sunday? Well, I'll watch the game, through the cracks between my fingers in the classic "I can't look... oh, maybe..." pose. I mean this is seriously what it's come down to... the reward for Rex and co. making Jets football watchable again and being in the playoffs every year is fearing complete annihilation and nationwide ridicule. It's enough to make me want to go back to being a Bills fan... no, wait. Nothing could make me do that.
Now let's go eat a god damn snack.
posted by Dave | 1:40 PM
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