This is a (Greatest) Hit Piece
Just in time for the Christmas shopping season, we had our annual raft of greatest hits albums from various artists. Since we have just started a new decade, this year and next year really belong to getting the greatest hits albums out for many of the top acts of the 2000s who may not have a future in the musical landscape of the 2010s. We saw that in 2000-2001, when we had greatest hits collections from the likes of Barenaked Ladies, Collective Soul, and Green Day, although in the last case they reinvented themselves and became one of those core bands of rock that is unlikely to diminish in popularity any time soon. This time around, it is Jay-Z, Pink, and Nelly Furtado who recently put out greatest hits albums.
And Dane Cook. I'm not sure why. With Dane Cook, you either really like him or really hate him. On the one hand, he has found a way to make a successful business model in an age where stand-up comedians aren't the massive stars that they were in the heyday of George Carlin, Bill Cosby, and Bob Newhart, or even more recently with Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, or the Blue Collar guys. On the other hand, his schtick is pretty much one-dimensional, other comedians hate him, and his live specials make me nauseous with their quick cuts and spinning camera angles.
We need rules for greatest hits albums. First of all, Dane Cook, you don't get a greatest hits album. You are a stand-up comedian, therefore you have no "hits". Again, this isn't the days where a stand-up COULD put out a comedy album and either make the Billboard charts with one of their routines (like Cosby or Cheech & Chong) or win album of the year Grammys (like Newhart). Also, they did occasional songs (Cheech & Chong had "Basketball Jones", Cosby remade Stevie Wonder's "Uptight") so it kinda made sense to act like a musical artist in that case. With Dane Cook, it would make just as much sense if I recorded an album where I read my favorite entries of this blog and called it "This Just In's Greatest Hits". So rule #1: No stand-up comedians unless you do music.
Rule #2: You have to have put out enough albums to merit having enough hits to put out a Greatest Hits album. There are plenty of examples of bands who put out such albums after they were well on the downside of their careers (or in some cases, long since broken up), and the band/artist had only 1-2 ACTUAL hit songs, but they're betting you'll plunk down for the whole CD just to get that song. Well, we know that won't fly anymore in this age of downloading. So I'm speaking more in terms of Ms. Furtado here. As far as I know, you've put out 3 albums (3 in English, anyway). Unless you had more hit songs in your native Canada that we don't know about (which may well be the case), you haven't had enough hits to merit a full Greatest Hits album. I'll save all of you music-lovers the trouble... you want a "Greatest Hits" album from Nelly Furtado? Buy "Loose". Download "I'm Like a Bird" on iTunes. You're set.
Rule #3: Don't be cheeky and call your album "Greatest Hits, Volume 1", especially if you're one of those bands that is about to jump the musical shark. Just put the thing out and hope and pray that you have a way to make it long enough to put out a "Volume 2" and THEN you can use that for the 2nd hits compilation. Van Halen is the most notorious violator of this rule. They put out a "Greatest Hits: Volume 1" under the pretension that Diamond Dave was rejoining the band. Then they kicked him out again, hired Gary Cherone, and imploded. Not to mention that a one-disc compilation didn't do them justice. They should have put out 2 companion CDs, one with all of Dave's hits and the other with all the "Van Hagar" hits, then those of us who only favored one lead singer over the other could have been satisfied. Instead, when I listen to that CD, I listen to all the Dave songs, then "Dreams" (one of the few Sammy songs I liked), then I skip to the tracks Dave recorded with them in '96. Kinda feel cheated.
Rule #4: Speaking of new tracks... the add-on tracks that get put on a greatest hits album just to squeeze out another radio single are usually a pretty good indicator of how much steam you have left as a band/artist with the listening public. Exhibit A: the Foo Fighters put their greatest hits package out last year, and "Wheels" was a genuine hit. They're good to go, and they have a new album out next year that I am very much looking forward to. Exhibit B: R.E.M. 2003's "Bad Day" was a stiff. The downward trend of their career since reflects that. Again, Green Day managed to buck this trend. The add-ons from their 2001 greatest hits album flopped, but then they did "American Idiot", and the rest is history.
In most cases, however, bands seem to know just when to cash out and release the greatest hits album, or at least their management does. For proof, look no further than some of the bands I've mentioned, and how many more hits they managed after putting out the greatest hits album. Barenaked Ladies: one song that reached #82 on the pop chart. Collective Soul: 2 more rock hits and a handful of "Adult Top 40" hits. R.E.M.: One hit. There are numerous other examples.
Now there are other artists who have put out hits compilations and may have a shot at a 2nd. Pearl Jam comes to mind. Jay-Z has actually put out greatest hits albums in other countries previous to this year's, his first in the States. And of course there are bands like Stone Temple Pilots, Alice In Chains, and Blink-182, who put out greatest hits albums as "farewells" and have since reformed. Only time will tell if their restarts will last long enough, although STP's new album is quite good and I think "Your Decision" may be the best song AIC has ever done (or at least even with "Nutshell").
Few artists stick around long enough to put out more than one greatest hits album while they're still relevant. Elton John and Billy Joel managed to put out 3 (and I don't count all these stupid compilations they keep putting together for Billy Joel, that's why I said "while they're still relevant"... and apparently Billy doesn't like them either). The Eagles managed 2. U2 has put out 2, and may get to a 3rd. Queen put out 2 ("Greatest Hits 3" doesn't count, it was another of these silly money-grab ideas that surely had Freddie spinning in his grave). The Rolling Stones have put out all kinds, under different auspices. The key is knowing exactly when to drop the greatest hits album, with the promise that there is more new material coming. It takes incredible savvy, but it can be done. Let's check back in 10 years and see how the crop of this year and next year do.
And Dane Cook. I'm not sure why. With Dane Cook, you either really like him or really hate him. On the one hand, he has found a way to make a successful business model in an age where stand-up comedians aren't the massive stars that they were in the heyday of George Carlin, Bill Cosby, and Bob Newhart, or even more recently with Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, or the Blue Collar guys. On the other hand, his schtick is pretty much one-dimensional, other comedians hate him, and his live specials make me nauseous with their quick cuts and spinning camera angles.
We need rules for greatest hits albums. First of all, Dane Cook, you don't get a greatest hits album. You are a stand-up comedian, therefore you have no "hits". Again, this isn't the days where a stand-up COULD put out a comedy album and either make the Billboard charts with one of their routines (like Cosby or Cheech & Chong) or win album of the year Grammys (like Newhart). Also, they did occasional songs (Cheech & Chong had "Basketball Jones", Cosby remade Stevie Wonder's "Uptight") so it kinda made sense to act like a musical artist in that case. With Dane Cook, it would make just as much sense if I recorded an album where I read my favorite entries of this blog and called it "This Just In's Greatest Hits". So rule #1: No stand-up comedians unless you do music.
Rule #2: You have to have put out enough albums to merit having enough hits to put out a Greatest Hits album. There are plenty of examples of bands who put out such albums after they were well on the downside of their careers (or in some cases, long since broken up), and the band/artist had only 1-2 ACTUAL hit songs, but they're betting you'll plunk down for the whole CD just to get that song. Well, we know that won't fly anymore in this age of downloading. So I'm speaking more in terms of Ms. Furtado here. As far as I know, you've put out 3 albums (3 in English, anyway). Unless you had more hit songs in your native Canada that we don't know about (which may well be the case), you haven't had enough hits to merit a full Greatest Hits album. I'll save all of you music-lovers the trouble... you want a "Greatest Hits" album from Nelly Furtado? Buy "Loose". Download "I'm Like a Bird" on iTunes. You're set.
Rule #3: Don't be cheeky and call your album "Greatest Hits, Volume 1", especially if you're one of those bands that is about to jump the musical shark. Just put the thing out and hope and pray that you have a way to make it long enough to put out a "Volume 2" and THEN you can use that for the 2nd hits compilation. Van Halen is the most notorious violator of this rule. They put out a "Greatest Hits: Volume 1" under the pretension that Diamond Dave was rejoining the band. Then they kicked him out again, hired Gary Cherone, and imploded. Not to mention that a one-disc compilation didn't do them justice. They should have put out 2 companion CDs, one with all of Dave's hits and the other with all the "Van Hagar" hits, then those of us who only favored one lead singer over the other could have been satisfied. Instead, when I listen to that CD, I listen to all the Dave songs, then "Dreams" (one of the few Sammy songs I liked), then I skip to the tracks Dave recorded with them in '96. Kinda feel cheated.
Rule #4: Speaking of new tracks... the add-on tracks that get put on a greatest hits album just to squeeze out another radio single are usually a pretty good indicator of how much steam you have left as a band/artist with the listening public. Exhibit A: the Foo Fighters put their greatest hits package out last year, and "Wheels" was a genuine hit. They're good to go, and they have a new album out next year that I am very much looking forward to. Exhibit B: R.E.M. 2003's "Bad Day" was a stiff. The downward trend of their career since reflects that. Again, Green Day managed to buck this trend. The add-ons from their 2001 greatest hits album flopped, but then they did "American Idiot", and the rest is history.
In most cases, however, bands seem to know just when to cash out and release the greatest hits album, or at least their management does. For proof, look no further than some of the bands I've mentioned, and how many more hits they managed after putting out the greatest hits album. Barenaked Ladies: one song that reached #82 on the pop chart. Collective Soul: 2 more rock hits and a handful of "Adult Top 40" hits. R.E.M.: One hit. There are numerous other examples.
Now there are other artists who have put out hits compilations and may have a shot at a 2nd. Pearl Jam comes to mind. Jay-Z has actually put out greatest hits albums in other countries previous to this year's, his first in the States. And of course there are bands like Stone Temple Pilots, Alice In Chains, and Blink-182, who put out greatest hits albums as "farewells" and have since reformed. Only time will tell if their restarts will last long enough, although STP's new album is quite good and I think "Your Decision" may be the best song AIC has ever done (or at least even with "Nutshell").
Few artists stick around long enough to put out more than one greatest hits album while they're still relevant. Elton John and Billy Joel managed to put out 3 (and I don't count all these stupid compilations they keep putting together for Billy Joel, that's why I said "while they're still relevant"... and apparently Billy doesn't like them either). The Eagles managed 2. U2 has put out 2, and may get to a 3rd. Queen put out 2 ("Greatest Hits 3" doesn't count, it was another of these silly money-grab ideas that surely had Freddie spinning in his grave). The Rolling Stones have put out all kinds, under different auspices. The key is knowing exactly when to drop the greatest hits album, with the promise that there is more new material coming. It takes incredible savvy, but it can be done. Let's check back in 10 years and see how the crop of this year and next year do.
Labels: music
posted by Dave | 12:50 PM
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