In Defense of New Jersey

Last spring, I attended an academic egghead convention where the big attraction was panels about "Twilight". That's something you need to know about media studies people; we glom onto whatever is hot and trendy and analyze it to death. This is why at this particular convention, there was "Twilight" panel after "Twilight" panel, each denoted with a handy Roman numeral so you could tell them apart. I lost count at XII. Suffice to say, if you wanted to get into this conference, all you needed to do was submit a paper about vampires and teen angst.

I'm pretty sure if I want to get into next year's edition of this academic egghead convention, all I'll need to do is submit a paper about New Jersey. Yup, the Garden State has got to be the hottest thing going in pop culture. I fully expect to see New Jersey I, New Jersey II, and so on through New Jersey XLIV at this conference, because unlike "Twilight", you have multiple things you can scrutinize. You have "Jersey Shore", "The Real Housewives of New Jersey", "Jersey Couture", "Jerseylicious", "Cake Boss"... the list goes on and on. If you want to go old-school, work in something about "The Sopranos".

So why the fascination with New Jersey? From my experiences with the state and its people, I can only presume it's because New Jerseyans aren't afraid to speak their minds. They tell you what they think with the appropriate (or sometimes inappropriate) volume, tone, and language. They have a chip on their shoulder because they're wedged in between New York City and Philadelphia, and for that reason most people think their state may as well be a giant suburb that you whiz through on the Turnpike as you head down the eastern seaboard. I used to think that, too. I used to joke that if you took the outline of the state of New Jersey and cut it right down the middle (right along I-195), anything to the north of that line is suburban New York and anything south is suburban Philly. Of course, this was when my knowledge of New Jersey consisted of having seen every Kevin Smith movie.

Of course, when the media takes New Jersey and presents this aspect of its people to the world at large, they turn the outspokenness factor to 11. Not to mention the other stereotypes. Yes, Italians make up the largest ethnic slice of New Jersey's demographic pie, but they still make up about one-sixth of the populace, so you're not literally surrounded by them. There's almost as many Irish people in New Jersey... no wonder I like the state so much. Anyway, the stereotype (whether it's from "The Sopranos" or Frank Sinatra or just a collection of uninformed anecdotes) is loud Italians, hence the importation of loud Italians from other parts of the Northeast to the MTV show "Jersey Shore". Never mind, they're not actually FROM Jersey... this is what you'll find if you go to the Shore, so says the Network Formerly Known as Music Television. You'll find a bunch of "Guidos" and "Guidettes" (their term, not mine) boozing it up, getting in fights, and trying to hump anything that moves.

Despite the howls of indignation from rightfully-offended REAL Italians from New Jersey, the show goes on and is a huge success, so much so that the cast was able to hold out not once but twice for more money. And since there's a legion of fans who actually think that "GTL" (gym, tanning, laundry) is code for how to live your life, let's give them style shows on how to fit into this stereotypical lifestyle. Hence, "Jerseylicious." However, it's really up for debate who the worst TV citizens of New Jersey are, Snooki, "The Situation", and co. on "Jersey Shore" or "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." The few moments I have seen of this show pretty much involve loud, curse-laden screaming fits, catfights, and over-the-top lifestyle in every conceivable way. Then again, as "Real Housewives" shows go, maybe that's just what sets them apart... at least they're not crashing White House parties.

Then there's "Cake Boss", which isn't really all that offensive or stereotypical, it's a TLC reality show about a New Jersey bakery owner. Although I bet the guy would give Gordon Ramsey a run for his money, and maybe it's just my sick mind but I would love to see them throw down. Okay I'm buying into the stereotypes, I'm sorry... really this guy has just benefited from good timing. TLC gave him a show at the perfect time, because New Jersey is hot, and now people flock to his restaurant.

Which gets me back to what I really want to say about New Jersey. Despite what you may think, the state is not teeming with Snookis. I've been to this state several times, pretty much every part of the state, so I've had the chance to look around and see everything it has to offer. It's got a lot of good and bad to it. I've taken the scenic (read: non-AC Expressway) route through South Jersey and driven past acres upon acres of blueberry fields. New Jersey does just as good a job with farming as any other state, and makes for just as nice a vista as other states. Go to the Jersey Shore and you'll find all the things that Bruce Springsteen sang about, but mostly nice boardwalks, family-friendly places like Wildwood, and beautiful beaches like Brigantine... honestly it's the best beach I've ever been to. Unfortunately, you'll also find private beaches you can't enter and towns where the citizens turn up their noses at the tourists. But that happens in California, too.

Driving through the Poconos on I-80 does for me the same thing that a nice woodsy mountain drive anywhere does... it clears my head, de-stresses me, makes me relaxed, which is good for preparing mentally to deal with psychotic Philly or NYC drivers. Last weekend, I again took the scenic (read: non-Turnpike) route from Philly to North Jersey, this time through Princeton, which is really a nice town. Yeah, it's a college town and has a lot of that pretentiousness to it... for one thing, as cheap as gas is in New Jersey (another nice selling point), it's most expensive around Princeton. Apparently the gas station owners must think, "Well, you're all rich here, you can afford it!" But having said that, it was nice to see Princeton and its surroundings.

You can find a lot of that small-town coziness in New Jersey if you look for it. Fortunately for me, my dad has this way of knowing where all the nice family-owned small-town restaurants are, and that's where you see the real New Jersey. Nice people, friendly people... yeah, they're gonna tell you what they think and not sugar-coat it, but I appreciate that in people, so I'm okay with that. And it shows they care about you. They care about a lot of things, their homes, their communities, and they now have a governor who is fighting the good fight for them, so that's a positive too. So you might want to look a little deeper into New Jersey. It's a pretty nice place to be when you get past all the media hype.

And in case you were wondering, yes I have a paper on New Jersey to submit to next year's academic egghead convention... just hope I get into an early panel like New Jersey III or IV before people lose count...