Return to Dino-palooza

The summer concert season is upon us, and I have already plunked down some of my hard-earned cash on seeing Blues Traveler over Memorial Day weekend. They were as good as ever, but it made me realize that more and more of the bands I enjoyed in my teenage and college years are becoming irrelevant. Hey I'm still a loyal fan, buying the new CDs when they come out (except in the case of Blues Traveler, I did not buy the album where they covered their own songs... I thought that was a little cheesy).

However, for every band that has managed to keep their career afloat and have platinum album after platinum album, there are 5 more that are fading into obscurity. Weezer's new album came out today and I got it and immediately was pleased with my purchase... you have to appreciate anyone who can open a song with a Gordon Lightfoot reference ("Gordon Lightfoot sang a song about a boat that sank in a lake") and it winds up being the best damn song on the album. But also today, Cake lead singer John McCrae was quoted in an interview as lamenting the decline of his band and the fact that he really doesn't like touring but now that's all they've got because they haven't put out an album in years.

Well, it's Dave to the rescue... it is time to bring back Dino-palooza.

What's Dino-palooza, you might ask? Well, back in 2002, I wrote an entry (or Internet column, as I called it then, before "blog" was a word) about a concept born out of a combination of nostalgia and alcohol... the "Dinosaurs of Modern Rock Tour". Yes, modern rock has its dinosaur bands now, which is why I no longer laugh when I hear about tours like the Heart-Cheap Trick-Journey (with its 5th lead singer) jaunt that is coming through the 'Cuse at State Fair time. However, as this thing grew legs, we realized that this had to be a full-fledged multi-stage traveling festival, called Dino-palooza.

Since 2002, many more bands have slid off the radar screen and need the career boost that could only come from a place on Dino-palooza. Cake, for one. They're definitely in, main stage material at that. And Blues Traveler certainly is invited. So how does a band get on Dino-palooza? Well, it has to have been at least 5 years since their last major hit song. Breaking up at one point and getting back together always works too (Soul Asylum or Gin Blossoms, for example). The one common element is that they have to be in it for the dough. The best chance to make money is to do package tours, so this is a win-win for everyone involved.

Prime example: Stone Temple Pilots just got back together and they're touring this summer. STP admitted that this reunion is all about making money, so there's your headliner. See how long they last before Scott lands back in rehab. Good times. We'll add Filter to the bill so when Scott does fall off the wagon, they can just get Richard Patrick and reform Army of Anyone.

Now the difference between having a band like STP on Dino-palooza and a band like R.E.M. is status. STP has NO status. Sorry, guys, you rocked back in your day, but you are not seen as one of the great grand-daddies of current rock. I have WAY too much admiration for R.E.M. to saddle them with Dino-palooza status. Same goes for Pearl Jam. However, we'll invite The Cure onboard... they have a new album out and they could use the support. And Alice In Chains is definitely in. Influential or not, reforming without the late Layne Staley is very Queen with Paul Rodgers or "Doors of the 21st Century". Speaking of which, Ian Astbury now knows a thing or two about touring with rock dinosaurs, so The Cult can come along too.

And the following bands should sign up for this as well, while we still remember that we loved them way back when: Everclear, Better Than Ezra, Fuel, Live, Oasis, Third Eye Blind, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Collective Soul, Counting Crows, Our Lady Peace, Barenaked Ladies, Alanis Morissette, Liz Phair, The Cranberries, Garbage... and Limp Bizkit. Definitely Limp Bizkit. Talk about "oh how the mighty have fallen..."

They keep putting out new albums, they still want you to love them, and dammit, we do, so let's get them all together and lend them our support and $30 a ticket. Most importantly, we need to get something out there so that when people think "retro summer tour", they don't think of the 7 scariest words of the summer: New Kids on the Block Reunion Tour.