You Don't Mess With the Chronicles of the Dark Summer in the Kingdom of the City: The Movie
Now that I've teased you with a title that reads like a "Highlights" magazine (find the movie references and circle them), let's jump right into the now-underway summer movie season as I review all the new movies I haven't seen yet... and in the case of most of them, will not see...
"Iron Man" opened things officially this weekend (and since my semester is over, technically for me, it is summer so for once this super-long "summer movie season" concept works). I'm not really a fan of the comic book movie, but I inevitably go to see at least one per summer. With so many of the genre coming out ("Iron Man", another Hulk movie, "Hellboy 2"), I'm putting my money down for "The Dark Knight." I thought "Batman Begins" was an awesome movie and I was intrigued by Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker before his tragic death earlier this year. Of course, there's going to be a lot of morbid types wanting to see the movie because it's Ledger's last movie, but I think anyone who goes will be impressed with the movie as a whole.
Another genre that tends to get the overkill treatment during the summer is the "recycled TV show as movie" category. This year, we get "Speed Racer" (seriously, "Speed Racer"?), another "X-Files" movie, and the "Sex and the City" movie that I will talk about later. I'm not gonna see any of those, despite the fact that I did see the first X-Files movie (I thought it was eh). I will go see "Get Smart", despite the fact that I really don't get Steve Carell, and this is for two reasons: 1) I'm a fan of the original Don Adams 1960s TV show, and 2) Anne Hathaway.
So like I said earlier, "Sex and the City" has also been made into a movie. My ex-roommate (who I should note is female) loves "Sex and the City". When this movie idea first started being floated around, I heard a lot of people upset that this ruins what they thought was a good ending to the TV show, but now people have forgotten that apparently, because the buzz is becoming huge, and the opening is still 3 1/2 weeks out. I could care less for the show or this movie, but I have a feeling it will make a lot of money.
"Indiana Jones" makes his return to the big screen as well. Since the first 3 Indy movies are the stuff of cinematic legend, I'm sure this will do quite well, but for me it begs the obvious question: Why is it that when Sylvester Stallone brings back a 60-year old "Rocky" and "Rambo", everyone laughs, but a 65-year old Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones is okay? By the time this movie comes out, we'll already be in week 2 of the latest "Narnia" installment, and I'll be intrigued to see how the two movies do head-to-head... although I will not actually be seeing either movie.
Meanwhile, it appears that we've run out of good ideas for animated movies for a while. When the best we can do this summer is "Kung Fu Panda" and "Wall-E" (which I liked the first time, when it was called "Robots"), you know Pixar and co. have pretty much shot their collective wad. Also, we seem to be lacking in quality comedies compared to last summer. We're asking Ashton Kutcher ("What Happens in Vegas") and Chuck Norris ("Foot Fist Way") to carry the genre that used to be home to stuff like "Rush Hour" and "American Pie"... this is not good. Mike Myers' "The Love Guru" might prove to be the savior of the summer; if not, then you'll have to wait until late July when the next Will Ferrell movie hits.
And then there's Adam Sandler's movie... "You Don't Mess With the Zohan." Apparently, he plays a former Israeli intelligence agent living underground in NYC, and Rob Schneider is in this because Rob Schneider is in EVERY Adam Sandler movie (it's the only way he gets work). All I know is you can start the meter running on the number of times the title of this movie will be twisted into "You Don't Mess With the Lohan" to reflect the latest bit of nothing news about Lindsay (there, that's one).
And once the major blockbusters of the year have all had their turns battling it out, the world will be safe once again for stuff like this year's musical-turned-movie ("Mamma Mia") and the usual late-summer dreck (Another "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", another "Mummy", and last out of the box, another Vin Diesel vehicle... thank god!) Of course, by then, the studios pretty much presume that you'll be out of money (which in today's economy is a genuine possibility) or so overwhelmed by all the CGI special effects that you'll need to spend August on the beach in order to get your senses back. Happy viewing, everyone!
...and in case you didn't get all the movie references in the title, here you go:
- YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE Zohan
- The CHRONICLES OF Narnia: Prince Caspian
- THE DARK Knight
- Indiana Jones and THE KINGDOM OF the Crystal Skull
- Sex and THE CITY: THE MOVIE
"Iron Man" opened things officially this weekend (and since my semester is over, technically for me, it is summer so for once this super-long "summer movie season" concept works). I'm not really a fan of the comic book movie, but I inevitably go to see at least one per summer. With so many of the genre coming out ("Iron Man", another Hulk movie, "Hellboy 2"), I'm putting my money down for "The Dark Knight." I thought "Batman Begins" was an awesome movie and I was intrigued by Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker before his tragic death earlier this year. Of course, there's going to be a lot of morbid types wanting to see the movie because it's Ledger's last movie, but I think anyone who goes will be impressed with the movie as a whole.
Another genre that tends to get the overkill treatment during the summer is the "recycled TV show as movie" category. This year, we get "Speed Racer" (seriously, "Speed Racer"?), another "X-Files" movie, and the "Sex and the City" movie that I will talk about later. I'm not gonna see any of those, despite the fact that I did see the first X-Files movie (I thought it was eh). I will go see "Get Smart", despite the fact that I really don't get Steve Carell, and this is for two reasons: 1) I'm a fan of the original Don Adams 1960s TV show, and 2) Anne Hathaway.
So like I said earlier, "Sex and the City" has also been made into a movie. My ex-roommate (who I should note is female) loves "Sex and the City". When this movie idea first started being floated around, I heard a lot of people upset that this ruins what they thought was a good ending to the TV show, but now people have forgotten that apparently, because the buzz is becoming huge, and the opening is still 3 1/2 weeks out. I could care less for the show or this movie, but I have a feeling it will make a lot of money.
"Indiana Jones" makes his return to the big screen as well. Since the first 3 Indy movies are the stuff of cinematic legend, I'm sure this will do quite well, but for me it begs the obvious question: Why is it that when Sylvester Stallone brings back a 60-year old "Rocky" and "Rambo", everyone laughs, but a 65-year old Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones is okay? By the time this movie comes out, we'll already be in week 2 of the latest "Narnia" installment, and I'll be intrigued to see how the two movies do head-to-head... although I will not actually be seeing either movie.
Meanwhile, it appears that we've run out of good ideas for animated movies for a while. When the best we can do this summer is "Kung Fu Panda" and "Wall-E" (which I liked the first time, when it was called "Robots"), you know Pixar and co. have pretty much shot their collective wad. Also, we seem to be lacking in quality comedies compared to last summer. We're asking Ashton Kutcher ("What Happens in Vegas") and Chuck Norris ("Foot Fist Way") to carry the genre that used to be home to stuff like "Rush Hour" and "American Pie"... this is not good. Mike Myers' "The Love Guru" might prove to be the savior of the summer; if not, then you'll have to wait until late July when the next Will Ferrell movie hits.
And then there's Adam Sandler's movie... "You Don't Mess With the Zohan." Apparently, he plays a former Israeli intelligence agent living underground in NYC, and Rob Schneider is in this because Rob Schneider is in EVERY Adam Sandler movie (it's the only way he gets work). All I know is you can start the meter running on the number of times the title of this movie will be twisted into "You Don't Mess With the Lohan" to reflect the latest bit of nothing news about Lindsay (there, that's one).
And once the major blockbusters of the year have all had their turns battling it out, the world will be safe once again for stuff like this year's musical-turned-movie ("Mamma Mia") and the usual late-summer dreck (Another "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", another "Mummy", and last out of the box, another Vin Diesel vehicle... thank god!) Of course, by then, the studios pretty much presume that you'll be out of money (which in today's economy is a genuine possibility) or so overwhelmed by all the CGI special effects that you'll need to spend August on the beach in order to get your senses back. Happy viewing, everyone!
...and in case you didn't get all the movie references in the title, here you go:
- YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE Zohan
- The CHRONICLES OF Narnia: Prince Caspian
- THE DARK Knight
- Indiana Jones and THE KINGDOM OF the Crystal Skull
- Sex and THE CITY: THE MOVIE
Labels: movies
posted by Dave | 1:40 PM
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