The Joys of Automobile Ownership
I believe I am experienced enough in several areas of life that I can offer advice to today's young adults, and so the first thing I will tell the Youth of America is... don't buy a car.
Sure, it is pretty important and kinda fun these days to own and be able to drive a car. If you need to go somewhere that cannot be reached by walking (and for me, both by reasons of safety and laziness, that's not very far), then yeah, a car is probably the best way to go. However, there are certain innate headaches that only come with owning a car. For example...
I got my car inspected the other day. I think you know where I'm going with this, because if there is one thing that is certain in this world, it is this: your car will NEVER pass a state inspection on the first try. You can believe that your car is in perfect running condition, or at least in adequate, passable running condition, but the truth is that in the one year, the 12 months between inspections, something will inevitably go wrong with your car that will cause it flunk a state inspection. And usually it is something you will not see coming.
This time around, it was the tires and the muffler. When I pulled my trusty VW Passat into the local auto service center before my Georgia trip this past summer, they told me that the tires would have to be replaced soon. That should have been a red flag right there; however, three months had passed, and nothing went wrong, and you keep in the back of your mind that you MAY have to get the tires checked out soon, ya know, before the snow flies. Then you go into the service center to get the car inspected, and they tell you, "That two-hour trip you wanted to take this weekend? Not on THOSE tires..."
After the job was done, the repair guy proceeded to tell me that there was actually a belt sticking out of one of the tires. Certainly not safe at all, but then certainly not something I would notice. I have a problem with the fact that 90-95% of the stuff that could go wrong with a car is something you cannot actually tell is wrong just from looking at your car. The fact that my dome light doesn't come on and my clock never works? Figured that out; the fuse keeps blowing out, I have no idea why, but as it is purely cosmetic, I don't really need to get it checked out. Then again, ten bucks says next year they use THAT as an excuse to flunk the car at state inspection time. Why don't I have a right side-view mirror? Simple, because the dumbasses at the borough of Chambersburg have their trash cans pinned down way too close to the curb, and as I was backing into a parking space, I nailed it and the stupid thing knocked the actual glass mirror right off. Just sitting in the driver's seat of my car, I can figure out that those things are wrong.
However, there is no way that I could have just walked out to the car to go somewhere in recent days, taken a good long look at the thing, and said, "Ya know, I could be wrong here, but I think there's a BELT sticking out of one of my tires!" Then, I am told that my muffler was leaking, so I had to get a new one installed. I will admit, I was stunned; my muffler can leak? I didn't even know that was possible! And leak what, exactly? Because everything I thought I knew about cars (which is little to nothing) tells me that if there is anything in your muffler that could actually leak out of it, then you've got a problem! OK, so the guy technically meant the exhaust was escaping from a hole in the muffler, but see I don't think that way, and that just proves my point, that I couldn't just look at my car and tell you something was wrong with it.
All the stuff that can go wrong with a car is usually under the hood or under the car. Under the hood, I have an elementary knowledge of all that, but then if you'll recall how little you actually knew in elementary school versus today, you can deduce that by "elementary", I mean "I know what it all looks like from lifting the hood up and actually looking at it." OK, I can top off my coolant and check my oil. It's just that I'd prefer someone at a gas station or service center to do it instead.
I tell my whole sad story to Linda, our sales guru at the radio station, and her reply is, "Yeah, but what do you know? You can't even drive stick!" Yeah, this is true; however, considering how bad a driver I am with two hands on the wheel and two pedals to choose from, the thought of adding a third pedal and having to take one hand off the wheel to shift positively FRIGHTENS me. In case you didn't know, my driving record is, well, checkered. I've had a couple accidents, none in the past four years luckily (knock on wood). Still, the car insurance payments are always larger than I'd like them to be.
To tell the truth, I don't know which is worse: my record of driving cars or my record of choosing cars to buy. My dad found and bought me my first one, and had I not done so much to it, it would probably have lasted longer than just over 2 years; hell, I'd probably still be driving it. One thing I can pass along to the Youth of America: if you are buying a car, DO NOT buy one from a private owner. If you can't tell what's wrong with YOUR car from just looking at it or driving it, what makes you think you know if there's anything wrong with SOMEONE ELSE'S car; for that matter, what makes you think THEY know what's wrong with it? The car I bought from a private owner lasted all of four months, before it (all together now) flunked a state inspection.
My absent-mindedness when it comes to cars can be summed up with this anecdote: when the repair guys finally finished bringing my car up to Pennsylvania standards, they asked me, "Your registration and insurance card are in your glove box, right?" To be honest with you, I didn't know. Luckily, they were, but thank goodness for that, because although I have never been pulled over (knock on wood harder), if I ever was, could you see me panicking because I can't remember where the hell my registration is?
No, I think I was right with my original advice: just don't buy a car.
Sure, it is pretty important and kinda fun these days to own and be able to drive a car. If you need to go somewhere that cannot be reached by walking (and for me, both by reasons of safety and laziness, that's not very far), then yeah, a car is probably the best way to go. However, there are certain innate headaches that only come with owning a car. For example...
I got my car inspected the other day. I think you know where I'm going with this, because if there is one thing that is certain in this world, it is this: your car will NEVER pass a state inspection on the first try. You can believe that your car is in perfect running condition, or at least in adequate, passable running condition, but the truth is that in the one year, the 12 months between inspections, something will inevitably go wrong with your car that will cause it flunk a state inspection. And usually it is something you will not see coming.
This time around, it was the tires and the muffler. When I pulled my trusty VW Passat into the local auto service center before my Georgia trip this past summer, they told me that the tires would have to be replaced soon. That should have been a red flag right there; however, three months had passed, and nothing went wrong, and you keep in the back of your mind that you MAY have to get the tires checked out soon, ya know, before the snow flies. Then you go into the service center to get the car inspected, and they tell you, "That two-hour trip you wanted to take this weekend? Not on THOSE tires..."
After the job was done, the repair guy proceeded to tell me that there was actually a belt sticking out of one of the tires. Certainly not safe at all, but then certainly not something I would notice. I have a problem with the fact that 90-95% of the stuff that could go wrong with a car is something you cannot actually tell is wrong just from looking at your car. The fact that my dome light doesn't come on and my clock never works? Figured that out; the fuse keeps blowing out, I have no idea why, but as it is purely cosmetic, I don't really need to get it checked out. Then again, ten bucks says next year they use THAT as an excuse to flunk the car at state inspection time. Why don't I have a right side-view mirror? Simple, because the dumbasses at the borough of Chambersburg have their trash cans pinned down way too close to the curb, and as I was backing into a parking space, I nailed it and the stupid thing knocked the actual glass mirror right off. Just sitting in the driver's seat of my car, I can figure out that those things are wrong.
However, there is no way that I could have just walked out to the car to go somewhere in recent days, taken a good long look at the thing, and said, "Ya know, I could be wrong here, but I think there's a BELT sticking out of one of my tires!" Then, I am told that my muffler was leaking, so I had to get a new one installed. I will admit, I was stunned; my muffler can leak? I didn't even know that was possible! And leak what, exactly? Because everything I thought I knew about cars (which is little to nothing) tells me that if there is anything in your muffler that could actually leak out of it, then you've got a problem! OK, so the guy technically meant the exhaust was escaping from a hole in the muffler, but see I don't think that way, and that just proves my point, that I couldn't just look at my car and tell you something was wrong with it.
All the stuff that can go wrong with a car is usually under the hood or under the car. Under the hood, I have an elementary knowledge of all that, but then if you'll recall how little you actually knew in elementary school versus today, you can deduce that by "elementary", I mean "I know what it all looks like from lifting the hood up and actually looking at it." OK, I can top off my coolant and check my oil. It's just that I'd prefer someone at a gas station or service center to do it instead.
I tell my whole sad story to Linda, our sales guru at the radio station, and her reply is, "Yeah, but what do you know? You can't even drive stick!" Yeah, this is true; however, considering how bad a driver I am with two hands on the wheel and two pedals to choose from, the thought of adding a third pedal and having to take one hand off the wheel to shift positively FRIGHTENS me. In case you didn't know, my driving record is, well, checkered. I've had a couple accidents, none in the past four years luckily (knock on wood). Still, the car insurance payments are always larger than I'd like them to be.
To tell the truth, I don't know which is worse: my record of driving cars or my record of choosing cars to buy. My dad found and bought me my first one, and had I not done so much to it, it would probably have lasted longer than just over 2 years; hell, I'd probably still be driving it. One thing I can pass along to the Youth of America: if you are buying a car, DO NOT buy one from a private owner. If you can't tell what's wrong with YOUR car from just looking at it or driving it, what makes you think you know if there's anything wrong with SOMEONE ELSE'S car; for that matter, what makes you think THEY know what's wrong with it? The car I bought from a private owner lasted all of four months, before it (all together now) flunked a state inspection.
My absent-mindedness when it comes to cars can be summed up with this anecdote: when the repair guys finally finished bringing my car up to Pennsylvania standards, they asked me, "Your registration and insurance card are in your glove box, right?" To be honest with you, I didn't know. Luckily, they were, but thank goodness for that, because although I have never been pulled over (knock on wood harder), if I ever was, could you see me panicking because I can't remember where the hell my registration is?
No, I think I was right with my original advice: just don't buy a car.
Labels: cars
posted by Dave | 12:16 AM
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