Well, Considering I Already Know What Happened...
This is something that has baffled me right about this time every year. Every year we get to the week of the MTV Movie Awards, and suddenly we are blitzed by reports of what happened at the awards before it even airs. Now, me being eager to expose any secret entertainment world conspiracy theories, I thought at first that the mainstream media was in cahoots with the Academy Awards people to divert people from watching the MTV awards. Considering that the MTV Movie Awards pretty much flips the straight-laced AMPAS folks the bird with their show and their very existence, the fewer people watching this thing, the better. So, I figured, the Academy gets the mainstream media to start telling everybody who won all the awards and what the major hijinks were as soon as they could Monday morning; then, knowing what already happened and no longer feeling the urge to see the show broadcast Thursday night, people wouldn't watch, and that means more potential viewers for the Oscar wine and cheese party the following March. I really did believe this, especially considering how the mainstream media rarely takes MTV seriously anyway.
Well, imagine my surprise when in my efforts to steer clear of news of what happened on the MTV Movie Awards, I came upon the MTV website, where I saw (gasp!) details on what happened on the show! I mean, it's one thing to tape your award show four days early and have everything that's going to happen revealed before you get your show on the air, but to reveal it all YOURSELF? I was watching TRL the other day (research purposes only, I swear), and you had Carson Daly throwing to a pre-taped John Norris from four days ago saying how exciting the MTV Movie Awards were going to be. Then, minutes later, he's interviewing Kelly Osbourne and showing clips of her performance on the awards show, which hadn't even aired yet! How do you make this even look believable? I was half-expecting Carson to then say, "Now that we've shown you clips of Kelly's act, let's throw it back to John Norris and pretend it hasn't happened yet!" Then again, this is the network that still tries to make you believe Britney Spears is still relevant to the music industry. On this particular day, Britney was #1 on TRL with a song that peaked in the 30s on Billboard and had long since dropped off, from an album that had left the Top 50 months ago. I'm surprised Carson didn't do a segment trying to get his New Jersey beachside audience to express their dismay over the Ohio senator who boycotted a recent environmental hearing because one of the friggin' BACKSTREET BOYS was testifying! By the way, kudos to Sen. Voinovich for walking out; I can sympathize with him, as I try to boycott EVERYTHING the Backstreet Boys do...
So, after having taped the Movie Awards Thursday night (I was on the air, and besides, what's the rush, I already knew everything that was going to happen), I was really wondering whether or not I should even devote a column to critiquing a show that was so far from kept-under-wraps as far as its content. Then again, I figured that spending half the column ranting about the full pre-show disclosure would make up for it, and I didn't have anything else to write about this week, so here comes the critique...
First off, let me say how nice it was of the MTV people to keep the tradition going, as Britney lost yet another award, to Mandy Moore, no less. Now you may try to say that it's awfully convenient that MTV gave an award to one of its most visible stars (speaking of conspiracy theories), but she deserved it. Although the acceptance speech was a little too Academy Awards for me; Mandy, here's a tip-- the standard acceptance speech for this awards show is say something funny or embarrassing. Extra points for profanity and depravity. Of course, this is never gonna happen from wholesome Miss Mandy, but Kelly Osbourne has it down pat. On the other hand, you would expect that from an Osbourne. Her description of Miss Mandy ("she's like a f@$%ing supermodel!") was not only quite Osbourne-esque, but probably the first time that someone on television has used profanity to describe America's Sweetheart.
Speaking of the youngest Osbourne, you would be expecting a comment from me on her musical performance. Well, I pretty much picked up the vibe very quickly that this was not going to be quite as musical as it was a performance. I hope this is seriously just Kelly having fun being a sudden TV star and not a calculated "next move" for the Osbourne media empire. However, considering how the Osbournes were all over the place making mischield during the show, I have my doubts. Still, I have to admit I did laugh when I saw Sharon sitting on Ben Affleck's lap and Jack sitting on Natalie Portman's lap.
As for the evening's affable hosts, Jack Black, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, I sincerely hope they had script approval coming in, because there were so many moments in this show that could only be described as uneasy. For me. To watch. I counted FOUR times that I said to myself, "DUDE, that is just WRONG" in the first 45 minutes alone! To tell you what these were would be totally wrong for a column that I try to keep as squeaky-clean as possible; you'll just have to catch one of the endless repeats of the show that MTV will air in the coming days and weeks.
That said, I will prove myself a hypocrite again and have a "guy" moment: was that really Linda Cardellini with the rest of the Scooby Doo gang presenting an award? You'll excuse me if I only remember her as a shy tomboyish circa 1980 teen wearing an Army jacket in "Freaks and Geeks". I was just starting to get used to the idea of her as Velma (you'll remember the unfortunate urban legends associated with THAT character that I mentioned in recent weeks). I guess I may just have to get used to her obligatory "I'm-about-to-become-a-star" makeover; still, that would be the only pleasant surprise in a show where the surprises were kept to a minimum. Okay, there was one other: the White Stripes. It took me a while to warm up to them, but I got into their performance. The 60s "Shindig" look kinda bugged me a bit (and speaking of which, I got tired of the omnipresent dancing girls after about 10 minutes, not a good move, MTV), but I can kinda understand why; Jack White sounds a lot like Ray Davies of the Kinks. Aside from the fact that he looks like he's about 16, I really liked the performance.
So the surprises were still kept to a minimum, and perhaps it's really gotten to the point where MTV should stop pre-taping this show and air it live. That's what they do with the Video Music Awards, and there are just as many bleeps in that show as there are on the Movie Awards. Oh by the way, Eminem slipped at least one 4-letter bomb past you guys, and you had, what, FOUR DAYS to edit that out? Give it up, air it live, because then you give me less to write about.
On second thought, I like having things to write about, maybe we can come up with a happy medium...
Well, imagine my surprise when in my efforts to steer clear of news of what happened on the MTV Movie Awards, I came upon the MTV website, where I saw (gasp!) details on what happened on the show! I mean, it's one thing to tape your award show four days early and have everything that's going to happen revealed before you get your show on the air, but to reveal it all YOURSELF? I was watching TRL the other day (research purposes only, I swear), and you had Carson Daly throwing to a pre-taped John Norris from four days ago saying how exciting the MTV Movie Awards were going to be. Then, minutes later, he's interviewing Kelly Osbourne and showing clips of her performance on the awards show, which hadn't even aired yet! How do you make this even look believable? I was half-expecting Carson to then say, "Now that we've shown you clips of Kelly's act, let's throw it back to John Norris and pretend it hasn't happened yet!" Then again, this is the network that still tries to make you believe Britney Spears is still relevant to the music industry. On this particular day, Britney was #1 on TRL with a song that peaked in the 30s on Billboard and had long since dropped off, from an album that had left the Top 50 months ago. I'm surprised Carson didn't do a segment trying to get his New Jersey beachside audience to express their dismay over the Ohio senator who boycotted a recent environmental hearing because one of the friggin' BACKSTREET BOYS was testifying! By the way, kudos to Sen. Voinovich for walking out; I can sympathize with him, as I try to boycott EVERYTHING the Backstreet Boys do...
So, after having taped the Movie Awards Thursday night (I was on the air, and besides, what's the rush, I already knew everything that was going to happen), I was really wondering whether or not I should even devote a column to critiquing a show that was so far from kept-under-wraps as far as its content. Then again, I figured that spending half the column ranting about the full pre-show disclosure would make up for it, and I didn't have anything else to write about this week, so here comes the critique...
First off, let me say how nice it was of the MTV people to keep the tradition going, as Britney lost yet another award, to Mandy Moore, no less. Now you may try to say that it's awfully convenient that MTV gave an award to one of its most visible stars (speaking of conspiracy theories), but she deserved it. Although the acceptance speech was a little too Academy Awards for me; Mandy, here's a tip-- the standard acceptance speech for this awards show is say something funny or embarrassing. Extra points for profanity and depravity. Of course, this is never gonna happen from wholesome Miss Mandy, but Kelly Osbourne has it down pat. On the other hand, you would expect that from an Osbourne. Her description of Miss Mandy ("she's like a f@$%ing supermodel!") was not only quite Osbourne-esque, but probably the first time that someone on television has used profanity to describe America's Sweetheart.
Speaking of the youngest Osbourne, you would be expecting a comment from me on her musical performance. Well, I pretty much picked up the vibe very quickly that this was not going to be quite as musical as it was a performance. I hope this is seriously just Kelly having fun being a sudden TV star and not a calculated "next move" for the Osbourne media empire. However, considering how the Osbournes were all over the place making mischield during the show, I have my doubts. Still, I have to admit I did laugh when I saw Sharon sitting on Ben Affleck's lap and Jack sitting on Natalie Portman's lap.
As for the evening's affable hosts, Jack Black, and Sarah Michelle Gellar, I sincerely hope they had script approval coming in, because there were so many moments in this show that could only be described as uneasy. For me. To watch. I counted FOUR times that I said to myself, "DUDE, that is just WRONG" in the first 45 minutes alone! To tell you what these were would be totally wrong for a column that I try to keep as squeaky-clean as possible; you'll just have to catch one of the endless repeats of the show that MTV will air in the coming days and weeks.
That said, I will prove myself a hypocrite again and have a "guy" moment: was that really Linda Cardellini with the rest of the Scooby Doo gang presenting an award? You'll excuse me if I only remember her as a shy tomboyish circa 1980 teen wearing an Army jacket in "Freaks and Geeks". I was just starting to get used to the idea of her as Velma (you'll remember the unfortunate urban legends associated with THAT character that I mentioned in recent weeks). I guess I may just have to get used to her obligatory "I'm-about-to-become-a-star" makeover; still, that would be the only pleasant surprise in a show where the surprises were kept to a minimum. Okay, there was one other: the White Stripes. It took me a while to warm up to them, but I got into their performance. The 60s "Shindig" look kinda bugged me a bit (and speaking of which, I got tired of the omnipresent dancing girls after about 10 minutes, not a good move, MTV), but I can kinda understand why; Jack White sounds a lot like Ray Davies of the Kinks. Aside from the fact that he looks like he's about 16, I really liked the performance.
So the surprises were still kept to a minimum, and perhaps it's really gotten to the point where MTV should stop pre-taping this show and air it live. That's what they do with the Video Music Awards, and there are just as many bleeps in that show as there are on the Movie Awards. Oh by the way, Eminem slipped at least one 4-letter bomb past you guys, and you had, what, FOUR DAYS to edit that out? Give it up, air it live, because then you give me less to write about.
On second thought, I like having things to write about, maybe we can come up with a happy medium...
Labels: MTV
posted by Dave | 11:51 PM
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