State of the Tube 2001

Now more than ever, we as Americans search for escape from the stress of our daily lives, and also from the events happening both in our country and around the world. In this time of war, there is no more American thing you can do than plant your butt down in front of the TV and watch as much of it as possible.

No, seriously, I mean it. I'm not kidding.

The new fall season is here and underway, albeit a bit delayed by the horrible events of September 11, but we have a new slate of shows and a new slate of episodes and plot twists from our familiar series to digest and analyze and criticize. And if there's anything I do extremely well, it's criticize. So, let's have at it...

First of all, I am somewhat behind in my television watching due to the fact that I have to tape much of what I want to see, or else risk being a zombie when I get to work in the morning (it's not easy getting up at 5:15). However, I have watched many of the new shows, and many shows overall, so I am fully prepared to give my unscientific, often unintelligent opinions. Let's go night by night, as I tell you what I am watching so you can compare notes with me. Sunday nights, I am getting into this new Richard Dreyfuss drama, "The Education of Max Bickford". I like it because it was a perfect role for Dreyfuss, reminding many of the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus", in which he plays a high school teacher rather than college professor, but still of the disgruntled, middle-aged, I-once-slept-with-a-student mold. Although the voice-over part is a tad annoying (we know it's you that you're talking about, Max, don't bother making it sound like it's someone else's story), I think this show is a winner. I loved the movie "Wonder Boys" (for more reasons than just Katie Holmes), and besides "Mr. Holland", this show reminds me of that movie as well. Meanwhile, "Alias" is on at 9:00 on ABC, as Jennifer Garner tries to shake off the "hey, weren't you in 'Dude, Where's My Car?'" tag. I like the premise of the show, and the producers are definitely guilty of the "Dark Angel"-Jessica Alba tactic of "let's get our heroine in as many skimpy outfits as possible while she's kicking ass". However, I have yet to watch an episode, basically because I've forgotten to start the VCR rolling at 9:00. More on that later...

Monday nights still find me watching the WB and "7th Heaven". There is no better written family show on television today. After that is "Angel", and while I lost interest in the show last season and stopped watching, I gave it another chance this year, and it sucked me back in. Perhaps it's all those reruns of the first few seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" I've seen lately on FX. By the way, that is clearly the best syndication move of the new season, cuz I missed just about all the first season along with everyone else who heard "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and immediately thought of how pathetic the movie was.

Speaking of "Buffy," she's on UPN now, and alive once again (don't ask me to explain the season premiere, I only have so much space here). I figured that when your namesake character dies, that is the ultimate "jumping the shark" moment (don't ask me to explain THAT, either), not to mention the switch to the United Pathetic Network. However, the show still has some steam left in it, however next week's premise that she has to start a "slay for pay" policy shows that the principal characters aren't exactly kids anymore. Afterward is "Roswell", another WB transplant. Jury still out on that one, as I haven't watched the tape of the season premiere yet (see what I mean on this whole thing).

Wednesday nights, I started out watching "Grounded For Life" on Fox. I got hooked on this show over the summer, very well done and very funny characters. However, baseball playoffs have intervened, and so I am now watching "Dawson's Creek" again. It's basically a killing time move; speaking of "jumped the shark", this show has. At 9:00, it's over to ABC for "The Drew Carey Show", a show I've been meaning to start watching on a regular basis, but it wasn't until I started getting to see the show in syndication that I could A) see it and B) like it. Afterward, in a very savvy move by ABC, they have put "Who's Line Is It Anyway?: Too Hot For TV", which is much more edgier, and much closer to the original British version in that respect. I, however, think they should bring back "The Wayne Brady Show", which did very well over the summer, and put that in the 9:30 slot.

That's because we already get an hour of "Whose Line" at 8:00 on Thursday, and that's what I watch on Thursdays. Meanwhile, on Friday, I'm always away calling football games, so I never get to watch anything live. Once again, the playoffs have affected my viewing choices, but at the same time, it has saved me from myself, as after remembering to tape the season premiere of "Dark Angel", I forgot about the second one, and forgot about tonight's episode too until I realized that it had been pre-empted. This was a great move by Fox, by the way, putting "Dark Angel" on Friday nights, because there is NOTHING ELSE ON. This finally shows that they are starting to do something about that huge void that always exists on Friday and Saturday nights. Also to that end, ABC has "Thieves" on at 9:00, and just when you started to ask, "Whatever happened to John Stamos?" there he is. OK, I'll bet none of you actually wondered that; I certainly didn't. However, it's still a good show, and he's good as a wiseass, that's his best kind of role, other than being Rebecca Romijn's wife, of course.

Saturday still has not been solved, at least not that I know of, I'm too busy watching college football or sleeping to notice. That would be because I never had a reason to watch the networks on Saturday before, why should I start now? I don't even know what is on that night. Let me go check... nope, nothing. Maybe "Citizen Baines" on CBS at 9:00, maybe I'll check that nout next week, via videotape of course.

Now as to the other highlights/lowlights of the new fall season. Yes, "Survivor" is back, but every reaction I've heard about the first episode says the show is sliding in popularity fast. Nothing like a little real reality like a national tragedy followed by nightly updates on air strikes to turn people off to the sanitized controlled "reality" of "Survivor". However, people are getting into "The Amazing Race", so maybe there may be some life in the genre after all. Certainly not helping matters is the fact that the WB is now presenting "Popstars 2", as they look to replicate the formula that gave the world Eden's Crush (because of course, they were a HUGE success...)

Meanwhile, CBS is lining up a series of nostalgic pieces designed to suck in the classic TV buffs like myself. They'll observe the 50th anniversary of "I Love Lucy", and there will be yet another "Carol Burnett Show" reunion. However, the "Gilligan's Island" docudrama is a bit much. Considering the fact that there is a "Starsky and Hutch" movie in the works, I'm surprised that the "Gilligan's Island" flick didn't go straight to Hollywood. What tributes to the year 2001 will we see on the tube 30 years from now? If they even dare to do a "Survivor" retrospective, you can bet it will probably be portrayed as when the decline of Western civilization began. Just a guess...