This Is What I Can't Stand About Government

Just thought I'd use this space today to inform you all about some current events that DON'T involve Anna Nicole Smith, Britney's shaved head, or Charles Barkley racing that senior citizen referee. Although the video of both of them falling down over the finish line was pretty hilarious; I've watched it a half-dozen times and it still makes me laugh... *ahem*

Anyway, our wonderful elected representatives are at it again, proposing laws that seem to be nothing more than an excuse to give them something to do. I'm sure by now, most of you have seen in some form or another, one of those e-mail forwards that include the list of stupid laws passed sometime in the 1800s that are still on the books in their respective states. Here in New York, these include such gems as: "A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket" and "Citizens may not greet each other by putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". It's funny when you think that legislators thought such behavior was worthy of being outlawed once upon a time; it's not so funny when you find out that people in government want to pass laws that are just as stupid TODAY.

Take, for example, the law recently proposed by New York State Senator Carl Kruger of Brooklyn. He wants to ban people from using an MP3 player, cell phone, Blackberry or any other electronic device while crossing the street in New York City and Buffalo, New York's two largest cities. Apparently, he doesn't care if Syracusans do that. Kruger's reason is that three pedestrians were recently killed because they walked out into the street in front of a car, and they were all apparently lost to the world due to the electronic devices they were using. Kruger explained, "Government has an obligation to protect its citizenry."

Ah yes, the old "the government has to save people from themselves" argument. Now I don't own an iPod, nor do I see much need to own one, but I for many years did own a walkman and then a discman. Yes, I enjoyed my music while walking, but I also made sure I was crossing safely at intersections and such. Joggers use walkmans and now iPods religiously, and unless they're just jogging in the park, they're gonna have to cross a street eventually, and just about all of them are able to do this safely and cautiously. And how, pray tell, do you enforce this law? I can tell you one thing, the police aren't exactly spending all their time looking for jaywalkers, so I doubt they're going to go on "high alert" looking for some businessman or jogger crossing the street with a bud in his or her ear.

To quote a Buffalo-area blogger who beat me to the punch on responding to this proposal: "I'm glad to see, however, that every other problem in Brooklyn and Buffalo has been solved and that we can now turn our attention to the very urgent issue -- nay, scourge -- of iPod wearing pedestrians." Which brings me to my point about all these silly laws: we have much more pressing problems in our world, and certainly in Albany, to be wasting our time on going after people who like to listen to music while they walk.

Or going after drivers who "drive while drowsy." Yeah, here's another one of those "how the heck do you enforce this one" laws that have been proposed. This time, it's a state senator from Queens named Toby Ann Stavisky, who wants New York to join New Jersey as the only states to ban driving while you're tired. Now I have been told by my mother in the past and I'm sure moms say this to their sons and daughters all the time, not to go too long driving without a break or if they're driving late at night to pull off to a motel if they're getting tired. However, now Stavisky wants the government to play the role of "Mom". Her bill defines "driving while drowsy" as driving without sleep in 24 hours. In other words, if you haven't slept in 24 hours, you shouldn't be driving. On the surface, that makes sense. However, how on earth do you prove this? It's not like there's a breathalyzer test that measures how long it's been since you last slept. And as someone who used to make a living out of rolling out of bed at 5am and hopping right behind the wheel to drive to work, I can tell you that driving groggy will cause you to feel the same as driving drowsy.

If you're drifting back and forth in your lane or hitting the rumble strip frequently and a cop sees it, he's gonna pull you over anyway just to ask if you've been drinking. If you're just tired (and you pass the breathalyzer to prove it), is he then going to ask if you haven't slept in 24 hours? No, he's going to ticket you for reckless driving and be done with it. In other words, the laws we have on the books are ENOUGH. I understand that a significant percentage of fatal accidents have occured when the driver was fatigued, but the threat of being pulled over and fined $500 is NOT going to stop it from happening, much like people with clean records still get behind the wheel after having a few drinks even though they can get pulled over for that.

And what, pray tell, happens if both these laws pass and some guy who is crossing the street while listening to his iPod gets hit by a guy who was driving while drowsy? Do we call this a wash? Or do we charge and convict both of them and make them share a jail cell?

What we as a people need to do is to think a little more, to be smarter on the roads and while out and about. A little more concentration does a world of good. However, you cannot legislate "smart". You cannot pass laws requiring people to be smarter. You're just going to have to continue to get the word out that their behavior is unsafe, however futile a pursuit that may seem, and hope that they get the message and wise up.

And while you're at it, Albany, how about you actually start trying to reform your ways of doing things, rather than electing an unqualified member of your own ranks to replace the convicted Alan Hevesi as comptroller. And it would also be nice if you not accuse the governor of meddling in your affairs and issuing threats like "this will not happen again" and calling the governor "tyrannical" and "a bully" and "abusive." Yes, Bill Magnarelli and Joe Bruno, I'm talking to you. 61% of those polled in a recent state survey LIKE the fact that Gov. Spitzer is forcing you guys to change your ways, and oh by the way, Senator Bruno, right after you got done saying that being tyrannical won't get things done, didn't you propose changing the state constitution so that the people can vote on a successor for attorney general or comptroller? Sounds to me like the governor got you to roll over and make the changes he wanted. But I forgot, it's much more important to try to ban crossing streets with an iPod in your ear or driving while drowsy...