Rock the Hall

Maybe it’s a sure sign you’re getting old when bands who you’ve loved and listened to for years, whose albums you either own all of or are pretty close to owning all of, are getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. That is one place I’ve never been in my life, and it would certainly be worth a stop this summer if I’m out that way. Anyway, your inductees this year include Van Halen and R.E.M., two of the best bands of the 1980s, but almost polar opposite in terms of what they were all about. I own all the albums from the David Lee Roth years; in other words, all the relevant Van Halen albums. Van Halen was not Van Halen after he left. There’s a reason we “Diamond Dave” fans refer to the years that followed as “Van Hagar”; they were a different band… and for the most part, they sucked. Which is why it was pretty exciting when in a stroke of great timing, the band announced that David Lee Roth will be back with Van Halen for the Rock Hall induction ceremony, with a summer tour to follow. Very nice… but not perfect. You see, original bassist Michael Anthony will not be there. This is because after 25-30 years of service to this band, through good times, bad times, and Gary Cherone, Eddie Van Halen fired him… and gave the job to his teenage son, Wolfgang.

Excuse me? Were it not for the fact that this band was more than a decade removed from its last hit song, this might go down as being one of the STUPIDEST lineup changes in the history of music. Not just firing Michael Anthony, not just going back on the road this summer with DLR but NOT the full original lineup, but we’re gonna have 50-something Dave, 50-something Alex, 50-something Eddie… and a 15-YEAR OLD KID on bass? Hopefully the attendees to the gala induction event will be able to not bust out laughing when they see THAT lineup.

As for R.E.M., well, they too haven’t had a hit in years, and my CD collection of theirs pretty much runs from the beginning to “Monster” and no further, but it’s good to see them get the gold watch as well. As the antithesis of Van Halen, not throwing a hissyfit over green M&M’s, not subjecting us to different lead singers or teenage bassists (the only lineup change being caused by drummer Bill Berry leaving after suffering an aneurysm in the mid-90s), they get a lot more respect for what they’ve done lyrically and stylistically. Michael Stipe is, in essence, a poet who sets his thoughts to music, in the same vein as Jim Morrison. As such, they were pretty much out of place in the 80s world of hair metal and party bands that Van Halen represented. They were more like the geeks in the corner at the high school party who then wind up becoming big-time CEOs and making more money than everyone else could have dreamed. When indie and alternative rock took over in the early 90s, you could go back to the early R.E.M. albums like “Murmur” and “Reckoning” and you could get what Stipe was trying to do… even if it seemed like he was hiding behind long hair and unintelligible lyrics. Well, male pattern baldness took care of the hair and the lyrics became more resonant, and they got the critical acclaim they deserved.

Now if you’re wondering how this Hall of Fame thing works, it’s not like the baseball inductions where the media votes on it and people quote numbers until they’re blue in the face trying to make a case for somebody to get in. Rock historians decide on the nominees, then a panel of 1000 experts votes. So maybe in a way, it does kinda work like in baseball; it’s the people who KNOW what they’re looking for. It’s not about how many albums you sold… in fact it says on the Hall’s website: “Criteria include the influence and significance of the artist’s contributions to the development and perpetuation of rock and roll.” Take, for example, Bob Seger… he got in a few years ago after not getting enough votes a few times. The average rock fan looks at him and probably says, “Well yeah, he was good, but he was no Springsteen, didn’t sell 80 bazillion albums, etc.” But when you consider that artists as diverse as Kid Rock and Prince cited Seger as an influence… bingo, he belonged, and got his due.

A band or artist becomes eligible 25 years after releasing their first album, so if you’re looking ahead to figure out when the “legends” of today will become eligible… Metallica will be eligible next year, the Red Hot Chili Peppers will be eligible in 2009, the Beastie Boys in 2011, Nirvana and Green Day in 2014, Pearl Jam in 2016, and Fall Out Boy in 2028… okay, I threw that last one in for a laugh. Although it does make you wonder, what’s going to get in and what won’t in coming years, as more and more the term “Rock and Roll” is being used to encompass many different styles of music. Consider they’ve inducted the Bee Gees for their role in disco, Michael Jackson and Prince for R&B and pop, Miles Davis even though his realm was jazz, and this year we have the first rap inductee, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. And that’s really where the “influence and significance of their contributions” will come into play. Do you put in Eminem? What about Madonna, who will be eligible next year? Whitney? Mariah? Where do you draw the line?

All this makes for much more interesting conversation than the past few years, when it was about the merits of whether Lynyrd Skynyrd belonged in the Hall of Fame. At least with this vote, we don’t have to worry about whether or not we should keep someone out for drug use… that would have eliminated the majority of the bands and artists who are in there…