Everybody Loves a Good (2009) List

So another year is nearly in the books, and another decade as well. Everyone in the media is hard at work compiling their lists of everything from the greatest games of the decade to the stupidest decisions. And so too have I been hard at work making up my list of things that caught my eye this year. And since it is the end of the decade, you lucky people get not one, but two lists from me this year: a list for 2009, and later a list for the whole decade. But first thing’s first, 2009…

Ah, 2009. A year in which we thought we would all come together behind a new president... instead we ended up more divided, more partisan, and more full of hate for people we disagree with than ever. The year "teabagger" went from being a gay slur to just another insult hurled at someone who believes that government isn't the answer to all of our problems. The year we found out Tiger Woods was more like a howling wolf from a 1950s-era cartoon. As some of my colleagues called it, the Year of Death: Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Patrick Swayze, Billy Mays, Brittany Murphy, but none bigger than Michael Jackson. His death managed to soak up more media time than even Princess Diana's passing, made his music more popular than ever, and also caused the ending to every Michael Jackson joke to become, "Awwww, too soon?"

Jay Leno retired from the "Tonight Show", then came back with a show at 10:00 that has drawn much mocking and few viewers. Oprah announced that she is retiring soon as well, but the rumor is she may do a show on her new cable network when that launches. If that's the case, she'll likely have as many viewers as... well, Jay Leno.

Surprisingly, two of the three colleges I’ve attended had great football seasons. Not surprisingly, Syracuse was not one of them. And Susquehanna's run to the D-3 playoffs didn't end all that great... 63-7, and I was there. The Phillies coveted Roy Halladay, got Cliff Lee, rode Lee back to the World Series... then dispatched a stunned Lee to Seattle so they could get Halladay, who they wanted all along. Gee, nothing says, "Thanks for saving our bacon" like a one-way ticket to the Pacific Northwest.

Construction started in downtown Syracuse for the first time in years, and ended at Carousel... likely for years with Stephanie (I Never Met a Development Project I Couldn't Stop) Miner becoming mayor. I fled to Philly... and promptly discovered that the administration there isn't much better. A mayor named Nutter who should be named Nutters (as in British for "crazy") got called a "little Caesar" for his role in the transit strike, the retiring DA said her low conviction rate for violent crime doesn't matter because she's not out to impress the local newspaper, and much like in NYS, the state budget passes very late and former state government bigwigs are either wearing prison stripes or on their way to doing so. Then I left town for break and they promptly got 23 inches of snow, or as much as they typically get in a YEAR.

And then there was the music... Dan DeLuca, music critic for the Philadelphia Inquirer, put together his year-end lists for best songs and albums, but once you think you have his tastes for music pegged (indie rock, check... under-the-radar R&B and roots, check), he then throws in Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, and “Boom Boom Pow”? How the heck do they belong on the same list as Grizzly Bear, Weezer, and Metric? Then again, that may be the same mentality that leads to ABBA (yes, ABBA) getting into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Ben Wener of the Orange County Register made as good or better a case that the Rock Hall is screwed up than I could (plus I’ve written about this already), so check out his article. Even though I only agree with about half of his snubs... The Moody Blues, Alice Cooper, Chicago, and the Cure should DEFINITELY be in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame before ABBA.

All right, enough with my venting, let's get to some of the other notable things that make this year's list:

Dumb Lawsuit of the Year: A college freshman in Missouri with a dislike for designer coats and a tongue planted firmly in cheek launched a clothing company called South Butt. Despite this kid's all-too-true belief that anyone should be able to tell the difference between a butt and a face (not to mention the obvious use of parody), North Face sued. I guess that proves not only that North Face's lawyers don't know the difference between a face and a butt, they clearly have their former shoved up their latter.

Dumb PETA Protest of the Year: PETA asked the Pet Shop Boys to change their names. Did they miss the memo that the Pet Shop Boys haven’t been relevant for over 20 years?!?

Most Overplayed Song: It’s a tie… EVERY SONG the Black Eyed Peas put out this year.

Who We Will Talk About in Music in 2010: Coldplay, Jimmy Eat World, Blink-182, Drake, Grizzly Bear, Cobra Starship, and Adam Lambert (that’s a given, the controversy around him is not going away)

Who Should Just Go Away in 2010: Besides the aforementioned Peas? How about Lady Gaga, Flo Rida, Shinedown, and Chris Brown (for obvious reasons)

Predictions I Was Right On This Year: Although I pegged Syracuse's 4-8 record exactly, I would have been much happier with two better snaps - one on the first play of the season against Minnesota and one on an extra point against Louisville - that would have turned 4-8 to 6-6 with a bowl berth. I picked the Phillies to win the NL East, but I thought that doing so would cause them to choke a la the Mets in '07 and '08 so does that still count?

Predictions I Totally Blew: Yeah, I said the Yankees would finish 3rd in their division again. And I had this beauty in my NFL picks: "The Steelers are the defending world champs and there's really no reason to think that they take a step back this year." Whoops.

Best New Album I Got This Year: As always, a tough call, but I’m gonna go with Green Day’s “21st Century Breakdown”. You might think they went too big with a 19-track, 3-act blanket statement about the decline and fall of American civilization, but they pull it off. (Honorable Mention: Pearl Jam, "Backspacer". Nearly two decades after their first album, they just keep on putting out great music)

More Proof That I’m Totally Right on this Anti-Prescription Thing: There’s now a prescription medicine you can get in order to get FULLER EYELASHES! Apparently mascara just isn't good enough anymore...

Enough Already: Can we please have no more “jerky-camera-first-person-shooter-look-alike” commercials? All they do is make me NAUSEOUS.

Now Don't Touch That Dial: I'll be back with my end-of-decade list next week. Merry Christmas, everyone!