So, It's Summer
My summer has begun, as has that of many people across this great nation, and as we survey the summer pop culture landscape, one question comes to mind... Where are the summer movie previews? I usually can expect to find something in my local newspaper breaking down what is coming out when so I can do one of my world-class summer movie entries. Is it because of the newspaper cutbacks, we don't have the reporters or newsprint to do these anymore? Whatever it is, I've got nothing convenient to help me. Which means I have to actually now do research to put together this entry. Yeah I know that's pretty much what I do these days, but this IS my time off.
OK, if you're familiar with this, I'm just gonna list out the movies that are coming out this summer in close to chronological order. In most cases, I will just give my opinions based on the trailers or commercials that I've seen. I will single out the movies that I'd like to see... but likely won't because I don't have the money.
First of all, we've had the problem this year of not really having a demarcation point where we could say, "Ah, that's the first movie of the summer blockbuster season." Was it "Star Trek" last weekend? Was it "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" a couple weeks ago? Could we even go all the way back to the "Hannah Montana" movie in April and say that was the first one? I won't... I'm a firm believer in truth in advertising, so anything that comes out before May is, by definition, NOT a summer movie.
Therefore, we started the summer movies with a new question this month: When will we get the first non-geek blockbuster? "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", "Star Trek"... you know, people who don't live in their mom's basement go to movies too. Well, thank goodness for "Angels and Demons", which hit theaters this weekend. I haven't read the Dan Brown books but I enjoyed the movie version of "The DaVinci Code". It's funny because I really want to dislike Tom Hanks for all of his blatant attempts to win Oscars ("Apollo 13", "Saving Private Ryan", "Cast Away", "Green Mile", etc.), but he keeps making the occasional movie that I can't help but enjoy. "DaVinci Code", "The Ladykillers", "Catch Me If You Can", just to name a few. So this may be the first summer movie I'd like to see. Then we get more explosion-filled sequels, in this case, "Terminator: Salvation", otherwise known as the movie that will forever be remembered for the Christian Bale meltdown that occurred during filming. Get used to this, folks, every summer has its overkill of sequels, and this summer is no exception.
Later in May, we have "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian". Another sequel. Always glad to see that Ben Stiller has found work. Hope you caught the sarcasm there... Then there's "Dance Flick". The 19th generation of "Scary Movie", ironically released by MTV Films, which of course gave us the movie ("Save the Last Dance") that was largely ripped off for this one. Also in May is the perhaps aptly-titled "Drag Me to Hell". Thus proving that bad horror movies can now be released at any time of year.
On to June, which brings us... "Land of the Lost". Another TV show ripoff, this time starring Will Ferrell. That's the other thing you have to worry about in summer movies, imitation of other styles of movies that work. All of which only just proves that for the most part, Hollywood is out of original ideas. Another example is "The Hangover", which pretty much looks like an imitation Judd Apatow movie. However, I've gotta give them credit for getting Mike Tyson to make fun of himself (and Phil Collins).
That's just the movies I've seen trailers of. I will have to base the rest of the summer on my inherent biases and general opinions of the movie business and the people who inhabit it. First I whine about having to do research, then I do a bunch of biased reviews... gee, let's just make this the most un-academic exercise possible...
Rounding out the month of June, we have "Year One". Jack Black in a caveman flick. Finally, the perfect role for this guy. That may be on the "I'd like to see but probably won't" list. Then there's "Whatever Works". Woody Allen + Larry David. The meeting of the neurotic minds. That alone makes it one people should go see. Finally, we get "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". Aaaaaaand back to the geek sequels.
4th of July weekend brings us "Public Enemies" with Bale and Johnny Depp, and also "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs". The first two were really good, but I feel like this shows they're running out of ideas. Gee, let's take something that doesn't belong in the time period we're working with, and that will make it funny! Instead, we have to rely on Sasha Baron Cohen to save the month of July, with his new movie, "Bruno". Oh wait, I have seen the trailer for this one. I actually spent most of it with my jaw dropped in shock as to all the ways Cohen crosses the line this time around. If you thought "Borat" was over the top, you ain't seen nothing yet. "Borat" is tame compared to the exploits of Cohen's supermodel character. The lawsuits from unsuspecting participants in this movie will start immediately.
Also in July, there's "I Love You, Beth Cooper". Yeah, a formulaic teen movie, but let's face it, we need these once in a while. Plus one can never get too much Hayden Panettiere. Then there's "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". See "Transformers". Back to the romantic comedies for a moment, July also brings us "The Ugly Truth", with Katherine Heigl as a TV producer being coached on how to land a guy by the dashing guy TV show host and he falls for her and blah-blah-blah, "Pygmalion". Heigl better hope and pray this is a smash, cuz it's not like she has a regular TV gig to go back to in the fall.
On July 31, "Funny People" hits the theaters. Adam Sandler + Judd Apatow & Seth Rogen. I'm intrigued. I will see this one. Sandler's actually demonstrated some staying power the last couple of years; for every "bad" movie he puts out like "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" or "Reign Over Me" (both of which I've said I wanted to see in past summer movie previews... just goes to show you what I think of so-called "bad" movies), he does a nice one like "Click" or "Bedtime Stories". He usually produces his own movies as well, so letting Apatow and co. take the reigns on this one should produce interesting results.
July ends with "Aliens In the Attic", where teenagers have to chase out the cute-looking aliens living in their summer getaway house. Didn't I see this movie before, about 20 years ago? It was called "Spaced Invaders"? Oh wait, that one didn't have Ashley Tisdale from "High School Musical" in it. My bad.
Next up is "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra". Yeah, I know, "Transformers" made it cool to do live-action versions of hit 80s cartoons (and there's a "Voltron" movie in the works), but I still feel like watching the screwed up versions of the end-of-show PSAs would be more enjoyable than this movie. By this point, we're in the dregs of August. Ya know, the movies that they shovel out to us when we're numb from having seen so many blockbusters. Stuff like "Bandslam", another "High School Musical" knockoff with Vanessa Hudgens, yet another "Final Destination" movie, Rob Zombie's 2nd "Halloween" movie. Yet we also get some possible diamonds in the rough like "Post Grad" (which includes Carol Burnett in a rare movie role), and the long-awaited Quentin Tarantino production, "Inglourious Basterds".
Ya know, I'm sure I probably get a lot of people asking me why I am so darn cynical, sarcastic, and bitter about all the summer movies I talk about. Well, sarcasm just comes so easily to me. Also, when you see, for the most part, more of the same every summer, you can't help but be this way. So when do you know that I like a movie? Simple, when I'm not being sarcastic. Just have to read between the lines and do some digging, which come to think of it is pretty much how I had to do this whole preview. It's not so bad, isn't it?
OK, if you're familiar with this, I'm just gonna list out the movies that are coming out this summer in close to chronological order. In most cases, I will just give my opinions based on the trailers or commercials that I've seen. I will single out the movies that I'd like to see... but likely won't because I don't have the money.
First of all, we've had the problem this year of not really having a demarcation point where we could say, "Ah, that's the first movie of the summer blockbuster season." Was it "Star Trek" last weekend? Was it "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" a couple weeks ago? Could we even go all the way back to the "Hannah Montana" movie in April and say that was the first one? I won't... I'm a firm believer in truth in advertising, so anything that comes out before May is, by definition, NOT a summer movie.
Therefore, we started the summer movies with a new question this month: When will we get the first non-geek blockbuster? "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", "Star Trek"... you know, people who don't live in their mom's basement go to movies too. Well, thank goodness for "Angels and Demons", which hit theaters this weekend. I haven't read the Dan Brown books but I enjoyed the movie version of "The DaVinci Code". It's funny because I really want to dislike Tom Hanks for all of his blatant attempts to win Oscars ("Apollo 13", "Saving Private Ryan", "Cast Away", "Green Mile", etc.), but he keeps making the occasional movie that I can't help but enjoy. "DaVinci Code", "The Ladykillers", "Catch Me If You Can", just to name a few. So this may be the first summer movie I'd like to see. Then we get more explosion-filled sequels, in this case, "Terminator: Salvation", otherwise known as the movie that will forever be remembered for the Christian Bale meltdown that occurred during filming. Get used to this, folks, every summer has its overkill of sequels, and this summer is no exception.
Later in May, we have "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian". Another sequel. Always glad to see that Ben Stiller has found work. Hope you caught the sarcasm there... Then there's "Dance Flick". The 19th generation of "Scary Movie", ironically released by MTV Films, which of course gave us the movie ("Save the Last Dance") that was largely ripped off for this one. Also in May is the perhaps aptly-titled "Drag Me to Hell". Thus proving that bad horror movies can now be released at any time of year.
On to June, which brings us... "Land of the Lost". Another TV show ripoff, this time starring Will Ferrell. That's the other thing you have to worry about in summer movies, imitation of other styles of movies that work. All of which only just proves that for the most part, Hollywood is out of original ideas. Another example is "The Hangover", which pretty much looks like an imitation Judd Apatow movie. However, I've gotta give them credit for getting Mike Tyson to make fun of himself (and Phil Collins).
That's just the movies I've seen trailers of. I will have to base the rest of the summer on my inherent biases and general opinions of the movie business and the people who inhabit it. First I whine about having to do research, then I do a bunch of biased reviews... gee, let's just make this the most un-academic exercise possible...
Rounding out the month of June, we have "Year One". Jack Black in a caveman flick. Finally, the perfect role for this guy. That may be on the "I'd like to see but probably won't" list. Then there's "Whatever Works". Woody Allen + Larry David. The meeting of the neurotic minds. That alone makes it one people should go see. Finally, we get "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". Aaaaaaand back to the geek sequels.
4th of July weekend brings us "Public Enemies" with Bale and Johnny Depp, and also "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs". The first two were really good, but I feel like this shows they're running out of ideas. Gee, let's take something that doesn't belong in the time period we're working with, and that will make it funny! Instead, we have to rely on Sasha Baron Cohen to save the month of July, with his new movie, "Bruno". Oh wait, I have seen the trailer for this one. I actually spent most of it with my jaw dropped in shock as to all the ways Cohen crosses the line this time around. If you thought "Borat" was over the top, you ain't seen nothing yet. "Borat" is tame compared to the exploits of Cohen's supermodel character. The lawsuits from unsuspecting participants in this movie will start immediately.
Also in July, there's "I Love You, Beth Cooper". Yeah, a formulaic teen movie, but let's face it, we need these once in a while. Plus one can never get too much Hayden Panettiere. Then there's "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". See "Transformers". Back to the romantic comedies for a moment, July also brings us "The Ugly Truth", with Katherine Heigl as a TV producer being coached on how to land a guy by the dashing guy TV show host and he falls for her and blah-blah-blah, "Pygmalion". Heigl better hope and pray this is a smash, cuz it's not like she has a regular TV gig to go back to in the fall.
On July 31, "Funny People" hits the theaters. Adam Sandler + Judd Apatow & Seth Rogen. I'm intrigued. I will see this one. Sandler's actually demonstrated some staying power the last couple of years; for every "bad" movie he puts out like "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" or "Reign Over Me" (both of which I've said I wanted to see in past summer movie previews... just goes to show you what I think of so-called "bad" movies), he does a nice one like "Click" or "Bedtime Stories". He usually produces his own movies as well, so letting Apatow and co. take the reigns on this one should produce interesting results.
July ends with "Aliens In the Attic", where teenagers have to chase out the cute-looking aliens living in their summer getaway house. Didn't I see this movie before, about 20 years ago? It was called "Spaced Invaders"? Oh wait, that one didn't have Ashley Tisdale from "High School Musical" in it. My bad.
Next up is "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra". Yeah, I know, "Transformers" made it cool to do live-action versions of hit 80s cartoons (and there's a "Voltron" movie in the works), but I still feel like watching the screwed up versions of the end-of-show PSAs would be more enjoyable than this movie. By this point, we're in the dregs of August. Ya know, the movies that they shovel out to us when we're numb from having seen so many blockbusters. Stuff like "Bandslam", another "High School Musical" knockoff with Vanessa Hudgens, yet another "Final Destination" movie, Rob Zombie's 2nd "Halloween" movie. Yet we also get some possible diamonds in the rough like "Post Grad" (which includes Carol Burnett in a rare movie role), and the long-awaited Quentin Tarantino production, "Inglourious Basterds".
Ya know, I'm sure I probably get a lot of people asking me why I am so darn cynical, sarcastic, and bitter about all the summer movies I talk about. Well, sarcasm just comes so easily to me. Also, when you see, for the most part, more of the same every summer, you can't help but be this way. So when do you know that I like a movie? Simple, when I'm not being sarcastic. Just have to read between the lines and do some digging, which come to think of it is pretty much how I had to do this whole preview. It's not so bad, isn't it?
Labels: movies
posted by Dave | 3:05 PM
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