The Obligatory Christmas Rant
Anybody out there hit the "oh, shit" point yet?
Sorry to be so blunt, but I think you know what I'm talking about. You're busy with things and all of a sudden, it hits you that we're 2 weeks away from Christmas and you're saying, "Oh, shit! I've done NOTHING!" Luckily, I'm not in that spot quite yet, although my family probably would have appreciated me sending them my wish list a little sooner.
That's how it works in my family... I don't think I'm going too far when I say we're not normal. Where other families or friends get each other something they think they'd like to receive, we outright ask each other what we want. Less chance of grand disappointment that way. Although I will say that my grandmother still raves about the fact that I gave her wind chimes one year when I didn't know what to get her. Another thing we do that is a little atypical is we don't mind getting gift cards. I know that for some people, getting a gift card is the ultimate "you don't know me, you don't understand me" moment, but let's face it, a gift card makes it pretty easy to get what you really want for Christmas. Maybe it's because we're all Republicans, but we like the personal freedom that comes with someone giving us a gift card and saying, "Do whatever you want with it." And these things last a while, too... I just finished off my last card from last Christmas.
Anyway, we are well into another Christmas season and my complaints are the same... primarily this year it has to do with Christmas music. I want new Christmas classics! It's not that top artists of today aren't trying: a look at the "hot new music" list I get each week (cuz I used to be a Program Director, don't ya know?) shows the likes of Jack Johnson, Sara Bareilles, and Plain White T's who have new original Christmas songs out this year. The sad thing is that I can already tell what will be played instead: the likes of Miley Cyrus, KT Tunstall, etc. singing the 88th different version of "Sleigh Ride" or some other Christmas song that was written in the 1950s or earlier and people still think is relevant today. Hell, even the Pretenders (who came up with one of the great modern Christmas classics, "2000 Miles", 20 years ago) have given up and are doing a cover.
I guess it's one of the few popular music traditions we still have, that the youth of America can't stand the oldies that Mom and Dad listen to, but they'll gladly listen to Brenda Lee and Bing Crosby at Christmas time. Still, I've never understood why nobody gives new Christmas songs a chance. Here's the top 5 Christmas songs since 1970: 1) the aforementioned "2000 Miles", 2) "Father Christmas" by The Kinks, 3) "Last Christmas" by Wham, 4) "Christmas All Over Again" by Tom Petty, and 5) "I Want an Alien for Christmas" by Fountains of Wayne. I could maybe expand it to a top 10 and include things like "Green Christmas" by Barenaked Ladies and "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses, but once you get past that, it's slim pickings. The last reputable rock act to try an original Christmas song was Linkin Park a few years back, and "My December" isn't exactly a happy, uplifting song.
It may be a chicken-and-egg situation where it's not worth doing a song if nobody will play it, but the stations won't bother playing new original Christmas songs if nobody reputable records them. All I'm saying is let's work on it, folks.
The other thing I could never figure out about "Christmas songs" is that half of them don't even MENTION Christmas! "Sleigh Ride"? "Winter Wonderland"? "Let It Snow"? NOT ABOUT CHRISTMAS. But play or sing that song after December and people will think you're about a burger shy of a Happy Meal. I'm just speaking for myself here, but is it possibly because Christmas time is the only time of year that we like or for some, even tolerate snow? Because snow is lovely at Christmas time, but by January, you're sick of it unless you like skiing or snowboarding or any of that stuff. So I guess I answered my own question there... we're not just celebrating Christmas, we're celebrating snow. Oh well, guess when you're living in a place that gets more snow than anywhere else in the country, you should try to be positive about it.
All that being said, I am very much in a festive spirit these days, although that may have more to do with the fact that I am almost through another semester of grad school and soon to be on break for a month. Whatever the case, happy holidays to all, and may all of you happily get shnookered on egg nog while listening to Nat King Cole sing about roasting chestnuts.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I think you know what I'm talking about. You're busy with things and all of a sudden, it hits you that we're 2 weeks away from Christmas and you're saying, "Oh, shit! I've done NOTHING!" Luckily, I'm not in that spot quite yet, although my family probably would have appreciated me sending them my wish list a little sooner.
That's how it works in my family... I don't think I'm going too far when I say we're not normal. Where other families or friends get each other something they think they'd like to receive, we outright ask each other what we want. Less chance of grand disappointment that way. Although I will say that my grandmother still raves about the fact that I gave her wind chimes one year when I didn't know what to get her. Another thing we do that is a little atypical is we don't mind getting gift cards. I know that for some people, getting a gift card is the ultimate "you don't know me, you don't understand me" moment, but let's face it, a gift card makes it pretty easy to get what you really want for Christmas. Maybe it's because we're all Republicans, but we like the personal freedom that comes with someone giving us a gift card and saying, "Do whatever you want with it." And these things last a while, too... I just finished off my last card from last Christmas.
Anyway, we are well into another Christmas season and my complaints are the same... primarily this year it has to do with Christmas music. I want new Christmas classics! It's not that top artists of today aren't trying: a look at the "hot new music" list I get each week (cuz I used to be a Program Director, don't ya know?) shows the likes of Jack Johnson, Sara Bareilles, and Plain White T's who have new original Christmas songs out this year. The sad thing is that I can already tell what will be played instead: the likes of Miley Cyrus, KT Tunstall, etc. singing the 88th different version of "Sleigh Ride" or some other Christmas song that was written in the 1950s or earlier and people still think is relevant today. Hell, even the Pretenders (who came up with one of the great modern Christmas classics, "2000 Miles", 20 years ago) have given up and are doing a cover.
I guess it's one of the few popular music traditions we still have, that the youth of America can't stand the oldies that Mom and Dad listen to, but they'll gladly listen to Brenda Lee and Bing Crosby at Christmas time. Still, I've never understood why nobody gives new Christmas songs a chance. Here's the top 5 Christmas songs since 1970: 1) the aforementioned "2000 Miles", 2) "Father Christmas" by The Kinks, 3) "Last Christmas" by Wham, 4) "Christmas All Over Again" by Tom Petty, and 5) "I Want an Alien for Christmas" by Fountains of Wayne. I could maybe expand it to a top 10 and include things like "Green Christmas" by Barenaked Ladies and "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses, but once you get past that, it's slim pickings. The last reputable rock act to try an original Christmas song was Linkin Park a few years back, and "My December" isn't exactly a happy, uplifting song.
It may be a chicken-and-egg situation where it's not worth doing a song if nobody will play it, but the stations won't bother playing new original Christmas songs if nobody reputable records them. All I'm saying is let's work on it, folks.
The other thing I could never figure out about "Christmas songs" is that half of them don't even MENTION Christmas! "Sleigh Ride"? "Winter Wonderland"? "Let It Snow"? NOT ABOUT CHRISTMAS. But play or sing that song after December and people will think you're about a burger shy of a Happy Meal. I'm just speaking for myself here, but is it possibly because Christmas time is the only time of year that we like or for some, even tolerate snow? Because snow is lovely at Christmas time, but by January, you're sick of it unless you like skiing or snowboarding or any of that stuff. So I guess I answered my own question there... we're not just celebrating Christmas, we're celebrating snow. Oh well, guess when you're living in a place that gets more snow than anywhere else in the country, you should try to be positive about it.
All that being said, I am very much in a festive spirit these days, although that may have more to do with the fact that I am almost through another semester of grad school and soon to be on break for a month. Whatever the case, happy holidays to all, and may all of you happily get shnookered on egg nog while listening to Nat King Cole sing about roasting chestnuts.
Labels: Christmas
posted by Dave | 4:34 PM
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