The Burdens of Being Different
I just got a new sticker for my car. It says simply, "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at YOU because YOU'RE ALL THE SAME."
That's who I am, that's what I'm like. It seems the only way you can stand out from the crowd these days is to march to beat of your own drum instead of marching in lockstep behind the hoardes of Abercrombie and Gap-wearing crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with these people, it's just that I feel the need to ask them one question: "HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN INDEPENDENT THOUGHT IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE???"
I am talking to the majority of the 12-25 crowd, here, which I am a member of in age only. Just so you the reader know who I am referring to, I mean the people who watch MTV religiously so that they know what they're supposed to wear, what they're supposed to like musically, and so on.
As far as the music goes, you know where I'm going here. I'm talking about boy groups. By the way, that is what they are, they are NOT BOY BANDS, because they DON'T PLAY INSTRUMENTS! The only exception would be Hanson, but it's not like they have a career anymore. You know the drill, get five guys who are good-looking, teach them how to dance and sing, foist them on the public with a giganto media blitz, and there you go, instant phenomenon, just add water. Not that it works every time; all those guys trying out for that ABC series "Making the Band", and where did it get them? The series got canceled, and the furthest O-Town got was the Pokemon soundtrack. Oh well, we can't all be the Backstreet Boys. Oh, no wait, we can be if we're called 'N Sync, 98 Degrees, LFO, and so on and so forth. They all look the same, every song sounds the same, and soon they will all have movies that look the same. Stop laughing, 'N Sync is seriously making a movie. They claim to have creative control over the project, which means absolutely nothing, since if they have any idea other than look hunky, lip synch, and dance around for 90 minutes, it will wind up on the cutting room floor. This is the way it is. We thought it would be here today, gone tomorrow for these guys, but unfortunately, there is no reason to believe they're going away any time soon. In fact, I would offer up several million reasons why they won't be, as in their album sales. Time was that the second album was when the inevitable backlash would happen. It happened for Andy Gibb, it happened for New Kids on the Block, it even happened for the Spice GIrls. Of course, time also was that they helped do themselves in. Andy Gibb got into drugs, Donnie torched a couple of hotel rooms, and Ginger decided to go it alone. If any of these boy groups have done anything remotely illegal, nobody will ever know about it.
And finally, how else do you explain that an album of previously released singles that are all at least several months old has been #1 for two weeks? It's been advertised wall-to-wall on MTV, and so it's selling hundreds of thousands of copies. Have you ever heard of one of those cheesy K-Tel compilations in the 70s and 80s going to #1? Never happened.
Now for the clothes. It's no longer about trends and fads, it's more like what somebody in a boardroom somewhere thinks should be hot THIS week. I swear sometimes, I look at these Gap ads and I think somebody just threw a dart at a dartboard and exclaimed, "Corduroy!!! Yeah, let's bring that back this time!!!" You know what corduroy is? It's what kids my age wore in first or second grade until we realized that it was the 80s and pastels and ripped jeans were in. I stopped trying to interpret what was good and what wasn't when I decided to start wearing khakis at the start of the grunge fad. OK, so I was off by a couple years, it got me nothing but razzing. Never mind that now it's practically required in most suburban upper-class high schools. So, I gave up. I now wear jeans every day, no matter the situation, except for something like a fancy event that requires khakis. No cargo pants (what the hell does that mean, anyway, is it because they have so many damn pockets on them?), no different-colored jeans, and especially NO CORDUROY.
OK, confession time: the whole stickers on the car thing was insipired by my friend Mike. It wasn't completely independent on my part. And I watch MTV, but mostly to find things to make fun of (hell, how many hundred words have I gotten out of it so far?) I buy music because I like it, I like the lyrical content, I like a good screaming guitar solo. I was one of the only 10 people who bought Pearl Jam's new album and the live version of Pink Floyd's "The Wall". I don't know if any of you noticed those, they were on the shelf next to "Oops, I Did It Again" and "No Strings Attached". So some of the stuff I do because of other people, but not everything I do. I AM DIFFERENT, goddammit, and proud of it.
As scary as it is to believe, we should have listened to Fiona Apple when she proclaimed, "This world is bullsh--, go with yourself." Now she can't even sell an album.
That's who I am, that's what I'm like. It seems the only way you can stand out from the crowd these days is to march to beat of your own drum instead of marching in lockstep behind the hoardes of Abercrombie and Gap-wearing crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with these people, it's just that I feel the need to ask them one question: "HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN INDEPENDENT THOUGHT IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE???"
I am talking to the majority of the 12-25 crowd, here, which I am a member of in age only. Just so you the reader know who I am referring to, I mean the people who watch MTV religiously so that they know what they're supposed to wear, what they're supposed to like musically, and so on.
As far as the music goes, you know where I'm going here. I'm talking about boy groups. By the way, that is what they are, they are NOT BOY BANDS, because they DON'T PLAY INSTRUMENTS! The only exception would be Hanson, but it's not like they have a career anymore. You know the drill, get five guys who are good-looking, teach them how to dance and sing, foist them on the public with a giganto media blitz, and there you go, instant phenomenon, just add water. Not that it works every time; all those guys trying out for that ABC series "Making the Band", and where did it get them? The series got canceled, and the furthest O-Town got was the Pokemon soundtrack. Oh well, we can't all be the Backstreet Boys. Oh, no wait, we can be if we're called 'N Sync, 98 Degrees, LFO, and so on and so forth. They all look the same, every song sounds the same, and soon they will all have movies that look the same. Stop laughing, 'N Sync is seriously making a movie. They claim to have creative control over the project, which means absolutely nothing, since if they have any idea other than look hunky, lip synch, and dance around for 90 minutes, it will wind up on the cutting room floor. This is the way it is. We thought it would be here today, gone tomorrow for these guys, but unfortunately, there is no reason to believe they're going away any time soon. In fact, I would offer up several million reasons why they won't be, as in their album sales. Time was that the second album was when the inevitable backlash would happen. It happened for Andy Gibb, it happened for New Kids on the Block, it even happened for the Spice GIrls. Of course, time also was that they helped do themselves in. Andy Gibb got into drugs, Donnie torched a couple of hotel rooms, and Ginger decided to go it alone. If any of these boy groups have done anything remotely illegal, nobody will ever know about it.
And finally, how else do you explain that an album of previously released singles that are all at least several months old has been #1 for two weeks? It's been advertised wall-to-wall on MTV, and so it's selling hundreds of thousands of copies. Have you ever heard of one of those cheesy K-Tel compilations in the 70s and 80s going to #1? Never happened.
Now for the clothes. It's no longer about trends and fads, it's more like what somebody in a boardroom somewhere thinks should be hot THIS week. I swear sometimes, I look at these Gap ads and I think somebody just threw a dart at a dartboard and exclaimed, "Corduroy!!! Yeah, let's bring that back this time!!!" You know what corduroy is? It's what kids my age wore in first or second grade until we realized that it was the 80s and pastels and ripped jeans were in. I stopped trying to interpret what was good and what wasn't when I decided to start wearing khakis at the start of the grunge fad. OK, so I was off by a couple years, it got me nothing but razzing. Never mind that now it's practically required in most suburban upper-class high schools. So, I gave up. I now wear jeans every day, no matter the situation, except for something like a fancy event that requires khakis. No cargo pants (what the hell does that mean, anyway, is it because they have so many damn pockets on them?), no different-colored jeans, and especially NO CORDUROY.
OK, confession time: the whole stickers on the car thing was insipired by my friend Mike. It wasn't completely independent on my part. And I watch MTV, but mostly to find things to make fun of (hell, how many hundred words have I gotten out of it so far?) I buy music because I like it, I like the lyrical content, I like a good screaming guitar solo. I was one of the only 10 people who bought Pearl Jam's new album and the live version of Pink Floyd's "The Wall". I don't know if any of you noticed those, they were on the shelf next to "Oops, I Did It Again" and "No Strings Attached". So some of the stuff I do because of other people, but not everything I do. I AM DIFFERENT, goddammit, and proud of it.
As scary as it is to believe, we should have listened to Fiona Apple when she proclaimed, "This world is bullsh--, go with yourself." Now she can't even sell an album.
Labels: conformity
posted by Dave | 11:29 PM
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